Simple Wedding
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A reader asked for tips to simplify a wedding so they can plan quicker to have the wedding before family has to go back overseas.
Since my simple wedding will be 21 years ago June 1, I asked at facebook for some new ideas.
Rhiannon reminds us to prioritize the stuff that lasts like rings and flowers, rather than music and flowers. Meghan says, "all the frou-frou little accessories for a wedding were not going to be the things I remembered later on (and I was correct about that!), so it wasn’t worth putting time into them or even having them; the only ones I gave the green light to were ones people wanted to give me as gifts, or that it meant a great deal to one of our mothers to have."
And she also says delegate, even if it means giving up some control. Others want to help you and tend to take care of the things you ask them to handle. Decorating is a great place to invite help. Branch out thought and don’t rely on the same 2-3 people.
Debbie says to make a note about what is important to you and your soon-to-be spouse. Stick to it and simplify the rest. And have fun! (Plus the more relaxed you are, the more fun all your guests will have.)
"Finally, relax. You’re getting married. That’s the point. No one cares if the the fruit you serve is cut into heart shapes or if they get a little plastic tube of bubbles to blow at you when you leave. You and your loved one will get married that day, and that is what makes the day perfect. Not any of the other details. And of course: less is more." Meghan reminds you.
Food
- Debra says ask family and friends to help out with food. Potluck is a big time savor.
- Buffet style instead getting servers, says LA Lovely Ink.
- If you have it a a B&B, Laura says they might cater for you.
- Instead of flower centerpieces you can have small tiered cakes to eat when it’s time to cut the cake, Brooke suggests.
- Have a simple reception like Diana’s daughter had – cake, punch, nuts, mints, vegetables. They made their own wedding cake out of 6 round cakes.
- Cheryl says a cocktail reception instead of a sit-down dinner
- In fact, depending on the time of day, Sherri says you can have a cake only reception.
- Wedding cupcakes (see above)
- If you have lots of fantastic pie makers in your family and friends circle you can have them each bring a pie in lieu of having wedding cake.
Dress
- Rent a dress
- Get an outfit, rather than a wedding dress
- Diana ordered her daughter’s wedding dress from ebay seller "Quick Gowns" inexpensive and allows returns if in two days
- Get a dress off the rack instead of scouring and fitting, says Faith.
People
- The easiest way to limit the chaos of a wedding is to invite less people. You can have an intimate family wedding, then have a party with friends after family leaves.
- Also use less attendants which will simplify many aspects
- Have a Day of Coordinator – a main person to handle to details.
Photos
- Can a friend take the pictures?
- Or have everyone take pictures with disposable cameras that you can develop
Decorations
- Framed photos of the bride and groom
- Recruit someone getting married to take down the decorations and keep what she wants (love this idea, Diana!)
- You can use silk flowers if you want them to last longer
- The Dollar Tree has inexpensive table centerpieces, says Julie. And Peggy says you can make simple floral or candle centerpieces there.
- Most people don’t need party favors, but Pamela said she loved at a Saturday night wedding when they go bagels, cream cheese and the Sunday paper before they left.
- Also, Lisa’s parents went to a wedding a few years ago where small jars of local honey were given as favors with a cute label they printed. I think it had their names, the date and something like "Meant to Bee".
- Cheryl suggests asking the venue if they have house candleabras/candles instead of buying centerpieces
Location
- Your church
- Courthouse
- Marina
- Regular hall
- Church basement/hall
- B & B
- Find the location ASAP – those book up Faith reminds us
- Restaurant (Maree had a fabulous champagne and seafood lunch and got married there.)
Invitations
- Print your own or use an online invitation service like Evites, suggests Lisa
I love Lynette’s wedding, "For our wedding, we invited family and friends to my soon to be husband’s birthday party, and then had a surprise wedding. We announced the marriage with fortunes in fortune cookies. I wore a colorful dress, he wore a suit. In front of fireplace and 60 guests in a very small house, ferns hanging, garden bouquets, a beautiful cake, guitar player, banquet, Catholic priest, believe it or not. Done. 21Yrs later our first child, still married since 1984. Cheap, but I had just bought a house. Fairly low stress (only in retrospect -) other than getting the house in perfect order. I wouldn’t do it any different today."
And Diana says they saw a wedding where the grandmother’s performed the role of flower girls with great joy and to applause. And instead of tossing bouquet to embarrassed single women, her daughter’s chose to award the bouquet to the couple married the longest.
If you have any more ideas for our bride-to-be, I’d love to see them in the comments.
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Wedding cupcake photo by Clever Cupcakes
Weekly Simplicity Tips
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Welcome to this week’s issue of Weekly Simplicity Tips.
The Trillium have come to West Michigan (the three petal white flower). My daughter and I took a walk in the woods to see them.
Photos by Brea Dargis
Mother’s Day was our end of the year choir concert. A great night of worship.
One last reminder – the Simplify Your Money Systems class starts tonight.
- What are good qualities of the people you work or live with?
- Make a call to someone who used to be in your support system, but you have lost touch.
- What do you love about one of your mundane chores?
- Make a list of the good things you accomplished so far this month. And if you say nothing, I won’t believe you.
- Decide to make a weekly chore every other week. See if anything terrible happens.
- Before you add anything more to your life – subtract something.
- What can you use up before buying more?
Get into financial integrity
Starts May 13
This class will help you:
- get your finances in order
- start saving
- create a plan to get out of debt
- consolidate, automate and simplify your system
- create a simple spending plan
Believing in a simpler, saner life
By · CommentsHow you think about yourself as a housekeeper can affect how you care for your home.
If "other people" have the pretty, organized homes you are less likely to have that kind of home.
If you think you are disorganized, lazy, scattered you are more likely to act that way.
In my classes, we talk a lot about breaking through the beliefs that are holding you back. The beliefs that limit you. That tell you what is possible.
Organizing, cleaning and decluttering are much more about habits that who you are as a person. I was not "born organized". I needed to learn skills and habits to live the life I wanted. And you can too.
What do you need to believe to experience a simpler, saner life?
I don’t get more done when I hurry.
I can create habits that support me.
I desire a more peaceful home.
I can create the atmosphere in my home.
Notice your beliefs regarding you and your home.
Life can be so daily
By · CommentsLife can be so daily, can’t it? Dishes again. Chauffeuring again. Making the bed again.
We tend to hurry through all the routine stuff to get to the more interesting. The projects. The events. Anything that isn’t part of a checklist.
If we look at our life most of it is spent in the routine and the mundane. As we rush, we aren’t present in a large part of our life. Life feels unsatisfying because we only count as real life, important life what is not routine.
What if we enjoyed the mundane? What if we decided to be present in our daily life? Might that be more satisfying?
Picture making the bed. (With or without the help of a furry friend.)
The first way is rushing, huffing that you have to do it, and thinking about the next thing on your list.
The second way is making it gently, enjoying how nice the sheets look straightened, feeling the comforter and being grateful for this lovely bed.
Or how about picking up the family room.
The first way you sprint around the room picking stuff up, yelling at the kids to get their stuff and annoyed that this has to be done yet again.
The second way is to putter. Moving stuff in a way that feels good to you. Putting things away that feel out of place. Maybe the kids are involved and you have some music playing.
My daughter loves to run errands with me because we sing songs loudly in the car.
When you are present to what you are doing it doesn’t mean you take longer to do things. But, you are less likely to absent-mindedly put something in the wrong place. Or spill as you rush making dinner.
You will enjoy your dailies more by being present. You will remember the smell of the fabric softener or the bird songs out the kitchen window if you are paying attention. You won’t rush the routine, but give them their proper place as a main part of your life. A part that gives your life a rhythm. A part where you can use your senses to bring joy to your every day life.
Ordinary is where most of us live, most of the time. And that can be a beautiful place.
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Photo by Taylor Hatmaker
Spending fast and being intentional with your money
By · CommentsMay is the time of year I look to take a close look at my spending. We usually want to take a summer trip, go camping at least once, see plays at Hope Summer Rep Theater, and there are always weddings, graduations, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. This year I also plan on going on a writer’s retreat.
All these need to be saved for. The easiest way for me to save quickly is by going a month by only spending on necessities like food (not Ghirardelli brownies), toilet paper and gasoline. So no clothes, cute things for the house, shoes, or books. No movies or dinners out.
You can read more about past Spending Fasts here: http://www.mysimplerlife.com/blog/spending-fast
To help you, read my 20 Tips to Keep from Spending Money.
We talked about intentionality yesterday. Money is a place where most people are not spending or saving intentionally. They spend on whim, putting out fires, and live in denial about their spending.
One reason is people don’t have systems set up for their money. Their filing systems are a mess, they don’t have any specific times to pay the bills, they don’t know their net worth or have an actual plan to spend their money.
Or their systems are overcomplicated. Zillions of money accounts. File folders for every utility. Envelopes for every type of tax receipt. And people can’t keep up with these complicated systems.
It’s time to set up simple systems so we can be intentional with our money. Check out my upcoming class below if you want help setting up simplified systems.
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Get into financial integrity
Starts May 13
This class will help you:
- get your finances in order
- start saving
- create a plan to get out of debt
- consolidate, automate and simplify your system
- create a simple spending plan
Each class will bring you closer to financial integrity. And you’ll find you are not alone.
Let me help you simplify your money systems.
Living Intentionally
By · CommentsA retreat I went on Sunday talked about Cultivating Joy – intentionally noticing and creating joy. Our sermon last Sunday talked about living intentionally. My daughter was telling me she appreciated the childhood we had for her with lots of family time. I got to tell her we did that intentionally.
It’s easy to get caught up in putting out fires, running from crisis to crisis never thinking ahead or thinking, "Is this the way I want to live?" Life becomes overwhelming, everything seems a priority. Mindlessly going from one activity to another as fast as we can. Multi-tasking along the way.
Intentional living is an important facet to simple living. When you intentionally think about what you want and how you want to live, the fluff and distractions are noticeably less important. You craft your life with thought. You don’t follow only what everyone else is doing. Or live vicariously through other people’s Facebook posts. Instead you live life on purpose.
You can start intentional living by taking time alone to answer these questions:
What’s most important to you?
What do you really want to accomplish (you – not your family, friends or society)?
Who do you want to be?
How do you want to feel?
What are your strengths and how can you use them?
Journal, talk about these questions, pray on these questions, contemplate these questions, dance them. Use whatever way feels right to you to uncover your true priorities.
Narrow these priorities down for the moment to five. The clearer you are, the easier it is to say no to other things.
Now that you know what’s most important, create routines that remind you of your priorities. Do you want to spend time with God, exercise, get yourself started thinking positively? Those are great things to put in a morning routine. Do you want to journal, play with the kids or set yourself up for a great tomorrow? Put those actions into an evening routine. Then write these routines down and post them where you will see them or have your phone send you reminders.
As you go throughout your day, pause before reacting. Be intentional with what you say and how you act. Are you responding in a way that connects with your values? Are you doing the right thing? Pause between activities to see what is really needed next instead of rushing to the next thing on the list. Add pauses in your day to think about things, to reflect on the day, to notice. (Red lights, waiting time instead of playing with your phone, in the shower.) Decide things based on your priorities instead of allowing life to make the decisions for you. You can put a reminder in your phone or computer to pause throughout the day until it gets habitual.
Set up your environment to help you with your intentions. Clean out the fridge and set out your exercise clothes if health is one of your main priorities. Get in a mastermind if one of your priorities is to start your own business. If connection is important to you, put in your calendar to set up dates with your friends and family. What are your priorities? How can you create an environment that will make them easier?
Plan. Plan weekly to see if there is anything you can do to make things go smoother, so you are putting out less fires. Look at your calendar and see if you are currently living your priorities. Plan monthly so you can include things that are important to you like 1:1 time with the kids, exercise classes, remembering birthdays, or saving up for vacation. Plan seasonally – what seasonal activities don’t you want to miss this year? And is it time to update your 5 priorities? Put your planning time into your calendar.
Watch doing a bunch of things at once. Your mind will be in a million directions and it’s difficult to be intentional without that focus. Close down the iPad while watching TV. Put the phone down when you are with others. Close your tabs on your computer so you can concentrate. Turn off the email ping. Don’t have 10 projects going at the same time. Start with 20 minutes focusing on one activity then see if you can focus longer.
Of course events will get you off track and things may not always go as planned. And you will still be closer to living the life you want when you live intentionally instead of floating.
If you aren’t intentional with your life, your life will flow by other’s demands, the day to day details, and stuff instead of what is important to you. You have to plan and decide because no one can do that for you. But, it’s more fulfilling to live in a life you designed.
Weekly Simplicity Tips
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Welcome to this week’s issue of Weekly Simplicity Tips.
Welcome to this week’s issue of Weekly Simplicity Tips. I had a very renewing weekend. I put up my out of the office autoresponder 11am Friday when my daughter, mother-in-law and a couple of her friends went to see another friend in Pirates of Penzance. A very fun Gilbert and Sullivan musical. The rest of the evening was spent with my daughter. As was Saturday when we went on a Mother-Daughter retreat on Cultivating Joy. Part of it spent outside in a beautiful, 70 degree spring day.
Photos by Brea Dargis
And Sunday after church my husband and I spent as much time as possible outside. No technology most of the weekend.I.
- When you see yourself getting discouraged with your decluttering, notice what thoughts you are telling yourself. Are they helpful and motivating?
- Schedule a spa day next week to pamper yourself at home or elsewhere.
- Simplify clothes shopping by dressing based on your personality type. Learn your type in a free ecourse.
- How are you being in your daily interactions? If you are acting snippy or impatient, you may want to delete something off your list.
- Take two minutes to stare at a flower, noticing. Don’t let these daily gifts pass you by.
- Set a limit on the number of days/times you drive your kids places.
- Love this quote:
"She inhaled a worry. She exhaled a prayer." ~ Mary Lou Quinlan, author
Get into financial integrity
Starts May 13
This class will help you:
- get your finances in order
- start saving
- create a plan to get out of debt
- consolidate, automate and simplify your system
- create a simple spending plan
Each class will bring you closer to financial integrity. And you’ll find you are not alone.
Let me help you simplify your money systems: http://www.encouragingcoach.com/programs-moneyclass.html
Technology Creep
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You don’t just start using the phone every waking minute. Technology creeps in. You start by having it in your purse. Then your desk. Next you get it out while waiting in the car or the doctor’s office. Soon it’s in the house during commercials. Or a quick text when you are out and about. Next thing you know you are one of those who spends all your time on the phone while out to eat with your family or visiting friends and relatives. Or walking with a friend while on the phone with someone else. You’ve lost all eye contact with people.
Or maybe it’s a tablet that was only to make life easier and now you can’t even watch TV or go to the bathroom without being connected. The cat tries to sit on it to get your attention.
It could be TV, video games or internet surfing. They began at an hour a day and now has grown to most of your evening.
Being so attached to the technology makes you more unattached to your body, people and your surroundings. We know why we like technology. It’s entertaining. It makes us feel connected. It gives us an adrenaline rush. In most cases it’s easier than dealing with people in your life, a messy home or a situation you are unhappy in. And since it is easy, we don’t realize when we have been spending way too much time with it.
Where has technology creeped for you that you haven’t noticed?
You can test your attachment, by going an hour without touching technology. Next week try 2 hours. What about half a day? Or scheduling a whole day?
Perhaps you decide once a week you will not go online. Or keeping your phone off the whole day. Maybe you will schedule your internet surfing or video gaming for a certain timed, time period.
It’s time to be intentional with how we allow technology into our lives.
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Photo by Gustav H
