People feel that other people are taking something from them, so they feel entilted to take and destroy.

And this comes out in little ways – pushing/cutting in a line, not listening with eyes of disdain at someone from a different political party, raging at a slow driver ahead of your car.

"Self importance is our greatest enemy. Think about it – what weakens us is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of our fellowmen. Our self-importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone."

Carlos Castaneda

It’s time to stop allowing ourselves to be pitted against one another.

We need to be a society of creators and helpers, not a society consumed with buying, gossip and entertainment.

What could you create if you turned off the TV for the night? Who could you help, if you got off the computer? Who could you build up and mentor if you had one less shopping trip a week?

Who do you want to be in this world? A negative, energy drainer? Or one that brings light and love to others?

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. It’s not so much what we do, but who we are doing it. And I need to intentionally choose who I want to be.

It’s not someone else’s problem. It’s our problem. Which means we are the solution.

***

Photo by: Grzegorz Łobiński

With complicated lives, it’s more difficult to find time for expression. If your life is hustling from work to home to soccer to the grocery store to the kitchen to the couch to bed, where do you find time to express who you are?

We are each unique and have special qualities we can share with the world. But, not if we allow routine and speed to dull who we are.

What can you let go of in your life, to make time for expression? Maybe you can take dance lessons and bring your kids to one less activity. Maybe you can give up late night television, so you have time to write or create in the morning. Maybe you can leave work on time more often so you can play in the kitchen.

Life becomes more joyful and fulfilling when you are able to express yourself.

Photo by evoo73

How can you stay calm among that?

• Clear your desk/work area before you leave work
• Write down every to do, don’t keep it in your head
• Create a check in jar for work so you keep aware of your emotions and needs and aren’t drained by the end of the day
• Take a 5 min break after 30-90 minutes depending on your focus level
• Do office yoga
• Don’t participate in gossip and complain sessions with co-workers
• Stay present to what you are working on and use a post it to remind you if you get interrupted
• Have a piece of nature in your work area
• Create systems and checklists for things you do routinely
• Aromatherapy
• Listen to calming music

In the book Working with You is Killing Me by Katherine Crowley and Kathi Elster [affiliate link] they share how to unhook yourself at work.

First you unhook physically . Examples – breathing, pause, unclenching your jaw, maybe imagining a protective shell around you, a walk, time in nature

Secondly unhook mentally. Examples – think about the facts not the emotions, inventory the situation, talk back to the emotion, think powerful thoughts, calm thoughts, detach from the other person’s venom.

Thirdly unhook verbally. Examples – speak up. Speak proactively – how can we solve this. Setting a boundary. Making clear requests. Talk calmly. Set up a time to talk.

Finally unhook with a business tool to depersonalize the situation. Examples – policies, job description, documenting, time log, weekly meetings, forms

Two sides appeared this morning. The Obama side may feel all is right with the world, that they were given hope and change, and enjoying the historic event. They feel they have "won." They will no longer have to worry about their mortgage or their job being shipped overseas. They may think America’s standing on the world stage will improve. They are excited about this charismatic, solid leader.

The other side may feel disgruntled with this election. Media bias, an economic crisis blamed only on one side of the electorate, distortion of records, and an unpopular president all going against one candidate. They may be concerned about a job disappearing when taxes are raised on business owners or being attacked to test an untested new president.

I remember one election not that long ago where people said the election was "stolen." They never did try to work with the White House in a bi-partisan way. Congress spent 8 years getting nothing done.

Both canditates ran saying they were bi-partisan and would work with the other side. Let’s hope it is true.

But, at the same time we need to stop depending on government to save us. we don’t need to cede all our power to who is in Congress and the White House.

How can we do that?

• Get involved in local politics. That is where the real change happens.
• Save more of your income by not eating out, cutting unecessary expenses like huge cable bills. and making it automatic.
• Quit buying everything on credit, assuming you will make more money in the future. Do what your grandparents did and save for things.
• Be fiscally responsible. Even if the government can’t, we can.
• Have more than one income stream. Get a side job, start freelancing on a hobby, invest in passive income.
• Upgrade your skills. If you are in a shaky industry take a class in something else, just in case. Improve the skills you use now so you are more indispensable.
• Don’t buy a huge house you can’t afford. I’m not saying you need a Tiny House, but the bigger your house, the more stuff you need to buy. And too many times, a big house is to show off to others. But, if you have to work 80 hours a week to afford it, you aren’t living there much anyway.
• Buy local to help local businesses. Many will not make it through this recession without your support.
• Take positive action instead of constantly worrying and fearing which leaves you exhausted. If the election didn’t go your way, don’t get caught up in how our country will go to pot.
• Don’t get sucked into too much negative news. Have a media fast once in awhile. Give yourself a limit to how much news you will watch, listen to or visit online.
• Remember what you do have. You probably still have more than your parents and grandparents. Practice gratitude.
• Take care of yourself – exercise, eat right, sleep and journal your worries away.
• Grow a garden next summer. That gives yourself some self-sufficient food.
• Update your resume. You don’t have to assume the worst to be prepared.
• Pay down your debt.
• Buy locally grown food. You become more of a community when you get to know the growers, plus it’s better for the environment.
• Help others. If we see a need, we can do something about it. We don’t have to wait for the government.
• Save for your retirement. Social security may or may not be there. So start saving early.
• Supplement a bad education with other activities and learning. Help your children develop character. Get involved in your schools.
• Work for what you want, don’t wait for it to be handed to you. Don’t like where you are, what you do, how much you make? Do something different until you find out what works for you.

I want my children to see that possibility doesn’t depend on who is in office. You have the power to create change!

Not sure what you can do – you can find local projects at their DAYta bank. Posted projects include collecting personal care items to bring to a local shelter, cleaning up a house that had caught on fire, a cards for troops drive, improving a local trail, a toy drive, offering activities and books to promote literacy and an abundance of opportunities to help.

They also have an Idea Generator for you to come up with your own project.

Big or small the important thing is that you do something for someone.

What can you do for make a difference day?

So, for my contest, the first 3 people that post a question on how to live more simply in my comments section will win a prize.

You will have a choice of either:

1. The Simplicity eCourse

2. The Procrastination eCourse

3. or the Energy for Joy Health Plan

If you don’t have a blog to pay it forward to, you can write in the comments how you can Pay It Forward in a different way.

The contest begins……Now!

One of the main reasons I want to live a simpler life is so I have time to help people. When your life is too busy for you to even take care of yourself, it’s difficult to make time for other people. I cut out some non-essentials so I have time to volunteer, live as environmentally friendly as I can and to be there for friends and family.

The rush of our society makes us more self-centered than we want to be. I see rude behavior all the time. Now, I don’t think most people mean to be rude. But, they are so frazzled they aren’t thinking about the other people. They are in line fuming and mumbling under their breath. All they know is some extremely slow person is fumbling with their checkbook and making them late. There is less eye contact and less smiles.

And when life is flying by, it is hard to see the person in need living near you. When you are just trying to keep your head above water, it is hard to help another person swim.

What are some ways you can slow down enough to notice the world around you? How can you make kind gestures and smiles as you go throughout your day, busy or not? How can you make the people you come in contact with feel better than before they saw you? How can you make a difference where you are right now?      

Often when you feel your work is just a bunch of to do’s and your energy lags, it’s because you have forgotten why you are working.

You have the opportunity to use your gifts. To help people and maybe make someone’s day. To grow.

No matter what job you have you can make a difference. If you are doing things well and doing things kindly, you have the ability to touch someone.

“Work is love made visible.”-Kahil Gibran

The trick is to find out what you are passionate about and serve there. Don’t say yes to every opportunity that comes your way. If you are in charge of the PTA, head up a church committee, teach Sunday School, serve at a soup kitchen, do online campaigning to save the whales and run a marathon for Breast cancer you are probably spreading yourself out too much. None of the organizations get your full attention and passion.

I am very specific with what I will and will not volunteer for. I volunteer weekly at a couple different places – places where I use my talents and skills, places where I feel called to be. I always take at least a day or two to think and pray before saying yes to a volunteer opportunity.

But, don’t ask me to bake cookies or do transportation somewhere. Those are better left to someone who enjoys that.

Giving back instead of only consuming is such a big part of a simpler life for me. I urge you to find the best way for you to volunteer.

Note: This post is my contribution to Blog Action Day, joining thousands of other bloggers to write about one topic for a single day. This year’s topic is the environment.

Most people are concerned about the environment, but in people’s busy lives it is easy to put caring for the environment below more “urgent” concerns. But each of us can make small changes that impact the world. I see more and more people taking action and through this action we will see a better environment.

Here are some changes I have made, and see if they are things you could do:

• Recycling
• Using environmentally friendly cleaners
• Working from home – no commute
• Walking or biking when possible
• Bringing our egg cartons back to the farmer’s son that sells us brown eggs so they can reuse
• Getting as much local food as possible so less fuel for the commute
• Fixing things that have broken and then we don’t have to buy a new one
• Taking good care of our things so they last
• Buying things used
• Bringing our canvas bag to the stores so we don’t need as many bags
• Thinking before buying something
• A month long spending fast each year
• Replacing our iridescent light bulbs with fluorescent
• Buying many foods that are organic
• Living in a small, older home
• Gardening

Next up: Learning about good for the environment cosmetics and cooking more from scratch

What are some things you are doing for the environment or plan to do?