Lake Michigan

Yesterday I decided I wanted to go to the beach for a bit. We live about 15 minutes away from Lake Michigan, so I took my daughter and a towel. My daughter took a chair and a book. 

I swam while she read for about an hour and then we were on our way home.

No making a big production out of it. That felt so freeing.

I remember times when we brought so much stuff that by the time we brought it all back to the car we were exhausted. Sometimes it was just getting it out of the car and to the beach. Tired before we even started.

Yesterday my daughter and I went to a meeting. She wanted to bring her purse, so I took my keys and notepad out of my purse and into hers. No sense bringing two purses. She always says how light my purse is. I’ve learned to put more things in my glove compartment, so I have items for emergency but I don’t have to carry them with me all the time. Like wipes, scissors, and the first aid kit.

The more stuff you bring places, the more that weighs you down. You don’t want to swim because what if someone steals the kid’s wakeboards or sand castle maker. Or you leave it behind. (I bring my purse into as few places as possible, because too often it gets left. It’s a family gene.) I hate going to places where you are trying to juggle food, a purse, papers, a drink and other things.

This week, when you go out ask yourself how little you can get away with taking. And see how it feels for you.

Living simply allows you to live more deeply.

You can take time to be spiritual. To pray. To be still.

You can have deeper, less superficial conversations with people.

You can explore a topic or a place as far as curiosity takes you.

You can think longer and understand more.

You can float with the music, delve into the book, and taste your nourishment.

Do you want a superficial life of must do’s or do you want to live deeply?

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Photo by: Reinante El Pintor de Fuego

I had a recent criticism that I did too much writing about inner work and relationships and not enough about how to.

The reason is that I believe in order to have a simplified lifestyle that you actually like, you need to do some inner work.

For instance, if you are feeling something you don’t want to feel, some people will eat, others may overexercise, and others may stay so busy that they can’t feel those feelings they don’t like.

I can give all the tips and how to’s in the world and that person will stay busy. Because it’s scary to simplify for them. If someone is stuffing their anxiety or sadness or anger into a too busy calendar and clutter, much of the time they don’t want to take care of it. Or they sabotage themselves when they make progress.

To test if this is happening to you, just start being more aware. "Oh, it seems when I get flak from my boss, I run to do busy work. Interesting." "Hmm, I added another activity to the calendar when I started getting anxious." "I start to get scared when I have a few free hours on the weekend. I wonder what would happen if I let that time stay free?"

Being aware, curious, and honest with yourself is an important starting point to simplifying your life.

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Photo by: Irargerich

I chose the words simpler life for my blog purposefully. Life is not simple. Kids are not simple. Work is not simple.

Complications always seem looming and information blasts us at every turn.

But, we can have simpler lives. We can learn to plan ahead, work with routines and take a few minutes to nurture ourselves. We can choose to do the more important things and let go things of lesser importance.

We can embrace our limits instead of steam rolling over them.

We can leave 10 minutes earlier if we keep running late.

My intention is not to bring you back to a time of the farm and no technology, unless that is your dream. My intention is to give you ideas and mindsets you can use in your real, daily life to feel saner, more peaceful and more fulfilled.

It seems right around this time people start to feel frazzled and acted stressed. The lady in line at the post office was pretty annoyed that she had to wait for the one person ahead of us. "I haven’t even started shopping yet," I’ve heard from dozens of people. A lot of people say that don’t have time for one more thing on their list, much less all the Christmas prep.  Faces turn grumpier, tempers get shorter and the stress can be felt in the air.

But, it doesn’t have to be that way. You get to choose the kind of holiday you want. You can go away with your husband. You can decide not to put up a tree. If the family complains, they can put it up.

You can keep the traditions that are important to you and your family and let go of ones where you are just going through the motions.

Counteract

Don’t get stressed because that’s what everyone is doing. Think of ways to counteract the stress. What are the hardest parts of the holidays for you to deal with?

If you have been exchanging gifts with a large group of people, now may be the year to make that group smaller. Some of your extended family and friends may even be relieved. Or you can decide to go sledding as a group or do a white elephant exchange.

Can you have a potluck dinner instead of doing the whole dinner yourself?

Do you need to bake that many cookies or bake anything at all?

Is Christmas time, the best time to host a party?

If it doesn’t work well this year than next year you can simple add back in baking or the party.

Other People’s Stress

A lot of your stress may be from being around other stressed people. Just going to the store right now can trigger it. When you start to breathe faster, clench your teeth and feel frustrated, ask yourself if there is any reason for you to be stressed at this moment. And take a few deep breaths.

It’s tough to slow down in the midst of frantic people trying to create the perfect holiday. But, you will feel so much better being counter-cultural.

Do you have any ways that you beat holiday stress?

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Photo by Lepiaf Geo

Check out my 4 week simple holiday plan to help you pare down your holiday and lessen your stress. And it’s an affordable $2. You can learn more here: Simple Holiday Plan

I used to wonder why my husband never stopped up the sink when doing dishes. All that great water would go down the drain. Then my mother-in-law said her husband never got around to getting a stopper that would fit, so my husband grew up thinking that’s how you do dishes.

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