Clarity is an important piece to having a simpler life. Otherwise you end up with a simpler life, but one that is not fulfilling.

Too often we think we are confused and don’t really know what we want. But, really we aren’t listening.

I’m sure you’ve gotten inklings that something wasn’t right or something wasn’t right for you. But, you plowed ahead anyway. Maybe you are afraid if you knew what you wanted, your life would be so far from that you would get depressed.

But, I’ve found simple changes moving in the direction you want to go are how the simpler life usually happens. It’s rarely like a TV or book where the house and cars get sold and someone ends up in the country living off the land.

You need to tune into the little inklings. Maybe your stomach always churns up near a certain client. That may be notifying you that this isn’t the type of client you want in your life. Or you are in a volunteer meeting and you think – why am I here? I’m not even passionate about this cause. Or your body suggests grilled pineapple instead of ice cream for dessert. Or you get the urge to connect with a person or project even though you seem not to have the time.

Keep tweaking so the things you want less of in your life get moved out of the way so the things you want in your life can have prominence.

You are clearer than you think.

***

Photo by Phillie Casablanca

I’m from the Midwest, so I would never say don’t work hard.

You just need to get clear so you know where you want to work hard.

Trying to be a great cook like your friend Gwen, the best hostess like Bev, the sexiest wife like Tracy, the biggest go-getter at work like Danielle and do the most charity work like Charity will get you exhausted. The funny thing is, we usually envy someone for one or two things they do great. We don’t expect them to be good at everything. Just ourselves. 

If you have a passion for cooking and entertaining, why not put your all into hosting an event.

If spirituality is important to you, why not retreat, study and pray with intensity.

If singing makes you light up, take those voice lessons, join a choir or sing your heart out when no one is home.

I will work hard on my coaching business, my marriage, my spiritual life and character building with my daughter. Cleaning and cooking, not so much.  I do the minimal I can for a standard my family and I have set.

Maybe you want to work less hours so you can take a photography course. Or stop driving your kids to some activity every single day so you can train diligently for a marathon.

Perhaps you want to put on a fantastic Vacation Bible School and have your husband cook for a week. Maybe you exercise 30 minutes a day instead of 60 so you have more time for writing.

What you want usually will take hard work. That’s why you need to make sure you know what you want.

So what are the things you are good at that you can put your hard work into? Don’t know? Ask your friends.

***

Photo by:  Espinr

Our tulips this year

Our real life really is good enough for happiness. We could be happy playing with our kids, cutting up fruit for a fruit salad or sitting on the porch reading a book. But our real life is interrupted by our future life. We aren’t immersed in cooking dinner – we are hurrying so we can get to chores, soccer practice and homework. We don’t see the cardinal because we are only trying to get from point A to point B as quickly as possible. Yet so often our moments of happiness occur between those two points.

We add so much to our lives because we don’t think our lives are good enough. We sign our kids up for every class under the sun because we think they won’t be good enough to compete in life. If we took moments to teach character, critical thinking and a work ethic I think they would be far more ahead than participating in a bunch of extracurricular activities they will never use again.

We buy stuff we don’t need to impress our friends – or even people we don’t like. But, we could be happy playing at a park.

We get on boards and go to meetings to "get ahead." When we could be happy at work if we thought about the people we were helping and doing really well on our current project.

I’ve had a lovely real life day. I enjoyed my shower with my mandarin orange shower gel I just opened. I worked with intention and lightness. For a break I browsed a book store looking at every single book in one of the sections. I stopped by the butcher that I had never been to, to see what they had. I did some more work and connected with a couple friends. The windows were open to let the cool breeze in when I picked my daughter up from school. We talked before she took off. I read outside in the sunshine. A cardinal perched near where I sat and I put my book down to watch. My husband and I talked as he worked on the truck. I ate juicy sweet strawberries from our strawberry plant. I did a little more work before cutting up zucchini for dinner. I did dishes with the windows open, watching the squirrels and birds by our feeders in the backyard. And now I write.

I allowed myself to enjoy what could be just a regular day.

What would a real life day be for you?