I had a recent criticism that I did too much writing about inner work and relationships and not enough about how to.

The reason is that I believe in order to have a simplified lifestyle that you actually like, you need to do some inner work.

For instance, if you are feeling something you don’t want to feel, some people will eat, others may overexercise, and others may stay so busy that they can’t feel those feelings they don’t like.

I can give all the tips and how to’s in the world and that person will stay busy. Because it’s scary to simplify for them. If someone is stuffing their anxiety or sadness or anger into a too busy calendar and clutter, much of the time they don’t want to take care of it. Or they sabotage themselves when they make progress.

To test if this is happening to you, just start being more aware. "Oh, it seems when I get flak from my boss, I run to do busy work. Interesting." "Hmm, I added another activity to the calendar when I started getting anxious." "I start to get scared when I have a few free hours on the weekend. I wonder what would happen if I let that time stay free?"

Being aware, curious, and honest with yourself is an important starting point to simplifying your life.

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Photo by: Irargerich

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In your life do you know what is necessary and what is unnecessary? Do you need all the things you think you need? Do you need to do all the things you think you need to do?

If you stripped down your life to 5 necessities what would they be? And how do you want them to speak?

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Photo by Mykl Roventine

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Complications always seem looming and information blasts us at every turn.

But, we can have simpler lives. We can learn to plan ahead, work with routines and take a few minutes to nurture ourselves. We can choose to do the more important things and let go things of lesser importance.

We can embrace our limits instead of steam rolling over them.

We can leave 10 minutes earlier if we keep running late.

My intention is not to bring you back to a time of the farm and no technology, unless that is your dream. My intention is to give you ideas and mindsets you can use in your real, daily life to feel saner, more peaceful and more fulfilled.

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You can decide not to…

• Bake cookies
• Put up a tree
• Decorate
• Spend more than you have on gifts
• Make your own stockings
• Stay up to midnight finishing homemade gifts
• Cook twice as much as you need
• Go to the party

If it doesn’t matter to you or your family you can say no. And if your family says it all matters, ask them what matters most. (If it truly, truly matters to them they can always do it themselves.)

You can decide to…

• Celebrate with just your immediate family
• Make one kind of cookie
• Ask for help with the holiday dinner
• Spend the night in
• Finish up things after Christmas
• Enjoy
• Laugh
• Connect

Breathe and let go.

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It takes courage to say no to a request to do something you don’t have time to do if you want to do the important things. You can feel peer pressure when it seems "everyone" has the latest gadget and you don’t. It can be scary turning down a promotion that would give you more money, but have you traveling out of town more than you and your family would like.

It’s hard to give up the status symbols or to not moan about how busy you are like everyone else does.

And most people don’t like to admit they even care what "everyone else thinks." But, being human, most of us do.

This December there will be a lot to try to pull you away from a simpler life. When you have choices to make, try being aware of the courage needed to make decisions based on what is important to you and your family. And be gentle with yourself.

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Photo by Paul Simpson

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But, it doesn’t have to be that way. You get to choose the kind of holiday you want. You can go away with your husband. You can decide not to put up a tree. If the family complains, they can put it up.

You can keep the traditions that are important to you and your family and let go of ones where you are just going through the motions.

Counteract

Don’t get stressed because that’s what everyone is doing. Think of ways to counteract the stress. What are the hardest parts of the holidays for you to deal with?

If you have been exchanging gifts with a large group of people, now may be the year to make that group smaller. Some of your extended family and friends may even be relieved. Or you can decide to go sledding as a group or do a white elephant exchange.

Can you have a potluck dinner instead of doing the whole dinner yourself?

Do you need to bake that many cookies or bake anything at all?

Is Christmas time, the best time to host a party?

If it doesn’t work well this year than next year you can simple add back in baking or the party.

Other People’s Stress

A lot of your stress may be from being around other stressed people. Just going to the store right now can trigger it. When you start to breathe faster, clench your teeth and feel frustrated, ask yourself if there is any reason for you to be stressed at this moment. And take a few deep breaths.

It’s tough to slow down in the midst of frantic people trying to create the perfect holiday. But, you will feel so much better being counter-cultural.

Do you have any ways that you beat holiday stress?

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Photo by Lepiaf Geo

Check out my 4 week simple holiday plan to help you pare down your holiday and lessen your stress. And it’s an affordable $2. You can learn more here: Simple Holiday Plan

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I like information. It allows me to be more creative and make connections between ideas.

But, when information no longer feels like a delight I know it’s time to do my Information Reduction Plan.

Stop Information Inflow

• Quit reading magazines
• No watching the news or getting it online
• No web surfing unless I need a specific piece of information
• No buying books, ebooks, or audio programs
• No going to the library to browse

Reduce Other Sources of Information

• Limit my reading of blogs in my Google Reader to 5 posts. I scan to see which look the most interesting.
• Limit newsletter reading time to 5 min a day
• No multi tasking like reading while eating or watching TV while checking email
• Read only one book at a time

Add Quiet

• Usually when I feel information overload it is because I have been stuffing my brain, but not allowing anything to digest
• Sit and do nothing every day, let the mind wander and process
• Journal before bed to get things out of the head

When I feel balanced again I slowly add more information – reading a few magazine articles, reading blogs for 15 min a day, slowly going through books or audio programs I have already bought and allowing myself time to implement or think on them.

Eventually I end up getting bogged down in too much information again. Curiousity does that to a person. But I know I have my Information Reduction Plan available when that happens.

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Photo Credit: Steve Parker

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I used to wonder why my husband never stopped up the sink when doing dishes. All that great water would go down the drain. Then my mother-in-law said her husband never got around to getting a stopper that would fit, so my husband grew up thinking that’s how you do dishes.

I’ve watched a few episodes of Wife Swap and the thing I love is that they are able to see that how they are doing family life is not necessarily the only way or the best way.

Can you think of any situations in your life that aren’t going as smoothly as they could? Are you doing certain things the way you’ve always done it? Maybe you could try a different way.

For instance, we like to keep a beach bag packed and ready during the summer. And usually it’s in an annoying place. But, this year I decided we needed to move it, so I brainstormed a little. The idea hit me to move it to the electric fireplace upstairs that stays off during summer. Now the bag stays ready but out of the way.

But, many times we just gripe and don’t take the time to figure out a solution. How about right now you think of one thing that is annoying you about your home life. And then jot down some possible ideas for correcting it.

Enjoy playing with one of the ideas this week. Hope it works out for you!

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I knew I only needed one flower. And it has just as much power as a whole bouquet.

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But, for the rest of the summer I’ve decided not to listen to another audio until I glean actions out of my current audios. I will not read every blog post in my feeder, instead implement what my starred posts.

I want to have time to read an item slowly and contemplate. I want to make decisions and think thoughts for myself, not just listen to what others think.

I want to spend less time on email. More time contemplating, enjoying and being. I want to dive deep this summer.

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