Most of my clients have super big goals for this week. So I have had to talk some of them down. Vacation time is not only to get your home back in shape, it’s to recover and to spend time with your family.

Check your to do list, is there a balance? Not perfect balance because that is elusive and doesn’t really exist. But, a simple balance.

Do you have home projects on the list, like decluttering the bedroom or getting through some paper piles? Have just a couple on the list and once those are done you can always add more. After all, I am sure there is already some cleaning up from the holidays that also needs to get done.

How about family activities? Maybe visiting the grandchildren, taking the kids to the movies, or having a family game night. Try to have some family time every day on vacation.

Then there is recuperation time. Do you have any relaxing time on your list? Some reading, extra quiet time to think about the year ahead, long walks, or coffee with friends. Add daily recuperation time to your list.

If you don’t enjoy this vacation time, if you have it, then you will start the new year back at work as tired as you left.

How about if you don’t have vacation?

I am self-employed, so I have work to do. I am trying to work less this week, but there is still work. If you have to work this week too, maybe leave most of the home projects and other projects till after the New Year. Enjoy this time with your family & friends and get some evening recuperation time for yourself.

Off to go to the in-laws to celebrate Christmas!

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Photo by: Michael Cory

Stop. Breathe. Breathe again. Now continue on your regularly scheduled day.

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Photo by Brea Dargis

As you look at next week, where do you see spots that may be difficult for you? How can you make them easier?

If your week looks like smooth sailing, then concentrate on self-care. You are going to need your strength sometime in the future, so spend this week exercising, eating well, writing in your journal, taking breaks and connecting with the ones you love.

Do what you can to support yourself in the future.

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Photo by Rosmary

How about you? What happens when you stay up later? What is different when you wake up earlier?

Here’s an idea for this week to try out: go to bed ½ hour earlier and wake up ½ earlier than usual.

How? Your day is so packed, you are running till you crash on the couch. At bedtime you are still so tense from the day you need to unwind. Here are a few suggestions: have the whole family do chores right after dinner to get them out of the way, prepare for tomorrow earlier, don’t watch TV shows close to bedtime that get your heart pumping, play relaxing music instead. If you get your need to dos done earlier, then you can get into bed about 1/2 hour before you want to sleep to cuddle, read, journal, listen to music or any activity you find soothing. Ideally you would be getting 7-8 hours of sleep a night or your energy level and productivity probably won’t be going up.

What will you do with that extra 1/2 hour?

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Photo by Warren Norohnha

When was the last time I took time alone?

Have you been stuffing down feelings trying to keep it all together?

Do you want to escape your life for a little while? Does everyone seem to annoy you?

Do you feel hollowed out mentally, spiritually or physically?

Are you in the midst of transition and change? Divorce. A new job opportunities. Working with an empty nest. Or have a decision you need to make?

Perhaps you have felt you have lost yourself under stacks of to do lists and other people’s expectations?

Why do you feel you need a retreat?

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If you are unsure how to create your own retreat for renewal you can check out my New Retreat Kit.

But are you doing it?

Since we don’t see it as a necessity, we can find all sorts of excuses – my family will get mad at me if I turn of their technology, I just need to make one more phone call, but a show I like is coming on…

How can you make unplugging work for you?

• Plan for this time and anticipate it. Create an email autoresponder saying you are unplugging for the day. Pick up the house the night before. Run your errands during the week.
• Plan activities that you love to do that will keep you and your family away from technology. Stroll, go to the beach, play games, visit friends, watch the sunset, dance in your living room with your family, do something creative.
• Remember the importance. Do you remember free time when you were younger? I remember growing up Sundays we would go to church, have a big dinner, read the paper, go on nature walks or other family activity. In the evening we would do our own thing, relaxing. How would it feel for you to unplug?
• Turn off the cell phone. Unplug the TV. Hide the DVD player and video games. Keep the computer off.
• Create a ritual to remind you of your unplugging – lighting a candle, changing clothes, a few minutes of deep breathing.

What do you need to do today to be able to take a day off this weekend to unplug?

Too many people buy more things because they aren’t enjoying what they have. They are filling a void from losing their joie de vivre.

How can you regain this back?

• Set a beautiful table. Slow down and really enjoy your meals. Use your senses.
• Take a walk in nature and look & listen.
• Get out one of your old hobbies you haven’t touched in ages.
• Instead of a working lunch, have a walk in the park lunch.
• Get some flowers from the flowers market or enjoy someone’s garden.
• Take time in dressing so you feel confident and attractive when you walk out the door.
• Immerse yourself in a song.
• Learn something new.
• Do something brave.
• Revive an old dream.
• Journal or daydream.
• Get engrossed in a novel.
• Look at the ordinary things around you with new eyes.
• Call a good friend.

The more present you are, the more you enjoy where you are. Of course, to give yourself more space you may need to give up watching the news every night, or playing your usual facebook game or griping and complaining with a buddy. Instead of tuning out for relaxation today, try tuning into your life.

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Photo by Polandeze

It’s summer here, so I’d rather sleep in and lay in the hammock then do work. But, work needs to get done. So I need to energize. Here’s some summer energizers:

• Take calcium/magnesium supplement (if you don’t get enough) 40 minutes before bed to sleep better
• Make your room extra dark so the earlier light doesn’t disturb you
• Breathe and center yourself 5 minutes in the morning before you go full blast
• Take a morning walk before it gets too hot. That sunshine wakes you up.
• Eat lots of fresh produce – we just picked strawberries. Yum!
• Take a small nap in the heat of the day if possible
• Remember the big picture in the work you are doing and who you are helping
• At my husband’s work, they give out popsicles on really hot days
• Take your shoes off when you work at the computer
• Hang a picture of a fun vacation, so you can go back to that place in your mind
• Splash yourself with cold water
• Read a little in your summer reading book
• We don’t have central air, so sometimes working at the library or Barnes and Noble helps
• Paint your toenails and vibrant  color. Seeing my coral nails always makes me smile.
• Try slower exercise like yoga

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Photo by Brea Dargis

And if you want an energy plan you can visit Energy for Joy

Do you have a favorite chair in which you can surround yourself in peace? Do you have a window that you can look through to see a beautiful picture? Out our kitchen window we can see the birds, squirrels and flowers in our backyard as we do dishes.

Morning quiet time can be a pocket of peace. As can driving to work without the radio and only your thoughts to keep you company. Or a tiny afternoon nap.

Hobbies, nature walks and serene music can all bring some peace into your life. But, you need to deliberately place these in your life. Life is chaotic. Peace rarely finds you. You need to find it.

And be open to the times peace does find you. A sunset on the drive home. Noticing a quiet house. Standing in line – the first time you stood still all day.

Create at least one pocket of peace today.

Even though I am still reeling from my son’s death, things still must get done – taxes, money stuff, work, prosecution stuff…

Here’s what’s been working for me:

1. Have grief sessions every morning and/or evening. Just a time to let whatever you are feeling out – through music, journaling, art. Letting it out every day, makes it easier the rest of the day.
2. Only choose 3 things that have to be done. On some days, just 1.
3. Set the timer for every 15 minutes when you are in ‘get it done’ mode. When the timer goes off, check in to see if you are focusing. If you aren’t, you can choose whether to re-focus or take a break.
4. Take breaks often. Whether you need to cry in the bathroom, take a short walk in the sunshine or call a friend.
5. Slow down a lot. Bow out of duties. Cut down on social commitments. Overload makes things more difficult.
6. Ask for help. The people that love you want to be able to comfort and support you. But they don’t know what you need unless you ask. I have a friend who is doing dishes twice a week. And food from the church 3 times a week. And lots of comfort, kind words and prayers.
7. Get enough sleep. No need to add extremely tired to the mix.
8. Keep checking in with yourself. When you know tears or rage are coming, you can get into a non-public place if that is what you want. But, you need to check in often to keep ahead. At least every hour. Ask yourself how you are feeling, what you need and if you need support.
9. Decompress when you get home. Go for a nature walk, cry in the shower, connect with someone if you want to, ignore calls if you don’t, or do some yoga.

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Photo by: Punk Rock