Comments on: Decluttering a Loved One’s Posessions

By: Heartbroken Daughter

Heartbroken Daughter — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 04:52:38 +0000

After my Mom passed I realized I had inherited her horrible cluttering too. It became so hard to let go of these ‘things’ because of all the memories attached. Finally I decided to take digital photos of the items. That way I will always have reference to those memories all in a palm size storage.

By: Beth

Beth — Mon, 11 Jul 2011 22:10:58 +0000

I am sorry to hear about your mother-in-law. I am glad this is helping you.

By: Maggie

Maggie — Mon, 11 Jul 2011 17:59:18 +0000

My husband’s mother just passed away on Thursday. She went into the hospital/ then Hospice, and never went back to her home. We now have to clean out her home to sell it. My husband wants to go through the house and give away all her clothes without looking at anything. I think this is a mistake since some items could be damaged or stained and no one would want them. I think he just wants to get this over with and move on. He is an only child and this is overwhelming to him. We will work on this together and make the best decisions we can. I found this particular info today and it was a blessing. I especially liked the point that just because the family member loved something and kept it, doesn’t mean we have to. This really frees up some mental space to focus on the things we do like and want to keep.
Thank you for all your practical advice.

By: Project Management Training » 100 Simple Living Blog Posts You Can Incorporate Into Your Own Life

Mon, 29 Nov 2010 11:36:31 +0000

[...] Decluttering for a Loved One : The passing of a loved one can be a hard time in everyone’s life. Sifting through their things [...]

By: Joyce Luzier

Joyce Luzier — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 19:45:05 +0000

Thank you so much for this article. My husband also had an old clock that had been built by hand and he decided to get rid of it. At first I thought, how could you, but now I realize we are so much better off without it in our home!! Thank you for your input!!! I feel so much better now about it.

By: Sue

Sue — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 20:41:39 +0000

My father passed in 1986, we were very close. My brother passed 2 years later at the age of 35, he was 12 years older than me. In 2005 I lost my mom, leaving me the sole heir of my family’s possessions, including the home my parents owned for 40 years. I currently live on the East coast and the house was on the West. Cleaning out 40 years of memories was agonizing the first couple of days and it was a huge job that took 2 weeks and lots of manpower. I finally had a huge cry and a good talk with my girlfriend and here is what I did. I gave the 4 family members that came to help, anything they wanted, other than my mother’s jewelry. I also took a grandfather clock that my dad built by hand, a book case that I loved, pictures, and paperwork. Anything that wasn’t taken was sent off to Salvation Army. There are many, many times that I think of and remember items that we packed, but to this day I am still so glad that I let everything go rather than bringing it all with me. All that “stuff” would have just been packed away somewhere else, costing space and money.

Now as I contemplate moving back to the West coast, I am again faced with de-cluttering and I’m looking at that clock, which has been in storage since the day I brought it back with me, 5 years ago. It’s nothing I could ever see in my own home, not my style. I think it’s time to let the clock go. Maybe the book cabinet too, and the pictures will definitely go to another family member after I put some on CD.

As hard as it seems to let “things” and “stuff” go, you will find that it’s usually always stuff you never use anyway. These days we tend to store things, which can cost money. It’s better to let the items go now rather than have to deal with it later. After all, usually our “stuff” goes out of sight and out of mind… the second you pack it away, you never look at it again until the day you clean or move. No need to hang on to “things”, you have the beautiful, wonderful memories, which never spoil nor get old or mildewed.

By: Michaela Stephens

Michaela Stephens — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 00:29:06 +0000

When getting rid of a deceased loved one’s things, emotion is very strong and memories come up again and again. The memories are important and deserve to be preserved. Emotions are important and deserve to be validated. In order to validate and preserve emotions and memories, a good way is to use a diary or a journal and record the memories and emotions that are associated with the things. “I remember when he wore this bathing suite when we went on a cruise together. That was very fun. He got terribly sunburned and I spent an evening slathering aloe vera gel on his back and shoulders.” It is good to record memories that are specific as possible.

Some objects may evoke few memories, so little can be said. Other objects may require a lot of writing. For the objects that evoke lots of memories, it is also helpful to describe the object carefully so that a mental image will be formed from reading about it. Writing helps to release the pent-up feelings.

By: Beth

Beth — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 13:08:02 +0000

That’s so true Lynn. Wishing you well on your trip!

By: Lynn

Lynn — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 05:57:09 +0000

When you actually go through this stuff – you often find out it is falling apart(stuff degrades), smells (evn in a clean house), or had developed spots and stains. I am going through my possessions because I plan a major move overseas – so can’t afford to store much or to move it. I take pictures of things to have a reference point to look at latter. Then destroy it or sell it or give it away. It is hard – I am still working on it. And some things I do miss. But if I don’t do it – I can’t move on to my dream life. And someone else will one day have to do it for me – so I better just go ahead and do it myself.

By: Lisa Deeley Smith

Lisa Deeley Smith — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 21:09:33 +0000

Regina, you don’t have to go to St. Thomas. But you can take your favorite things from your mother’s house and hire someone to sell the rest.

My mother died in 2004. My father wanted to keep us to keep everything. I took a lot of things, and am still de-accessioning (as they say in the museum business) as I see what things fit in my life.