Archive for family
The Friends and Family Plan
Posted by: | CommentsAs an introvert, I can go for months before I realize I haven’t connected with a friend or family member. Grandma has been known to say, "I can never get a hold of you."
So now in my calendar I have times to call my Mom, Grandma and Sister so I connect regularly.
I also have time on my calendar to plan time with friends. And I have a friends list where I keep people I want to keep in touch with. Don’t think you need a friend’s list? Have you ever realized a year has gone by and you haven’t gotten together with a friend? If people are important to you why not make it easier to stay connected?
This also helps with aquaintances that you would love to turn into friends. Studies show that the more people get together, the sooner they become closer friends. Even if it’s in a group. Who would you love to become closer with?
When we get busy, hanging out with friends is often the first thing to go. I like to have standing dates to get together with someone every other week for coffee. Or a monthly walking date with someone. It helps with the back and forth of planning time together.
And you can add friends to things you are doing anyway – exercising, eating, shopping, socializing after a meeting you have to attend.
For those of you already naturally sociable, how do you stay connected with the ones you love?
Make Memories Now
Posted by: | CommentsAfter my son died, I was thinking of some of the things we had wanted to do together but had never gotten around to. Like bike to Lake Michigan, get out the kayak and go to Washington D.C. I was also happy thinking of all the things we did get to do like camping, riding the go-cart, family trips, shooting off rockets, etc. We have an abundance of good family memories. And one-on-one memories. He was my tennis partner, film festival buddy and would go to the beach anytime even if no one else wanted to.
My silly kids on a winter hike
So as you look to the summer (or next season my southern hemisphere readers), what kinds of memories do you want to create?
Make these a priority.
Don’t wait.
Simplify by Losing Control
Posted by: | CommentsMy 18 year old son was looking for his first car. He wanted us to check out one of his choices. My husband said he wouldn’t buy that car and told him all the things wrong with it. We had found a couple much better choices and showed him. I spent days fretting about him wanting to get that awful car – wasting time and energy. But, we knew saying no would just have him want to buy it anyway.
A few days later what is affectionately known as "The Turd" was in our driveway. And my son has spent two weekends in a row working on that car with my husband. Unhappily. Lesson learned.
Without me having to control anything.
Trying to control things – what our kids wear, what our husbands do, how our friends live their lives, what everyone eats, how much work our co-workers are doing, how our sister is raising her kids….is a waste of time worrying and manipulating.
Because we don’t have control over other people. Usually natural consequences teach people. Lectures and cajoling doesn’t. So unless they ask for advice, we might as well work on being good role models ourselves. After all, we are the only people we have control of.
Give Your Relationships a Check Up
Posted by: | Comments
One of the premises of simple living is that people are always more important than things. If you spend most of your time playing with technology, working or maintaining your home and stuff you have less time more relationships.
Periodically checking in on your relationships can be an important as a physical check up. Think about each of your relationships and answer these questions in your journal or just in your head.
- When was the last time you spoke to this person?
- When was the last time you saw this person?
- Are you having deep, meaningful conversations or superficial ones?
- Do you feel you are supporting this person?
- Are you feeling supported by this person?
- Do you feel more energy or less energy when you are with this person?
- Are you usually annoyed or thankful around this person?
- How are you treating each other?
- Are you mainly complaining or complimentary?
Are there any changes you would like to make?
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Photo by: Make Less Noise
No Shopping for Me
Posted by: | CommentsAs usual we didn’t go out today for the Black Friday madness. Instead we were able to have some fun family time. We made french toast with real maple syrup for breakfast. We played Uno and Boggle.
My son and husband reinforced his desk so my son didn’t have to get a bigger monitor. Then they put the lights out together while my daughter and I talked and she made some Christmas presents.
We watched WallE together and read the funnies out of reader’s digest. I called some friends and relatives.
I love having a fun day at home with the family.
