Archive for kids
Getting Out of the House in the Morning
Posted by: | CommentsA tale of two mornings
Her alarm goes off. She hits the snooze. Stayed up too late last night. The alarm goes off, she hits the snooze again. The third time the alarm clock almost ends up being thrown, but instead she grudgingly gets out of bed.
She quick checks her email, facebook, pinterest before realizing now she has to rush to get the kids and herself ready. She sets the kids down in front of the TV with a bowl of cereal while she quick takes a shower after rushing to find an outfit.
When she gets out, kids haven’t made any progress yet on getting ready. They got sucked into the TV. She yells for them to get a move on. She decides there is no time for grooming and just slaps some lipstick on. She wrangles the kids who are looking for a shoe, a backpack and a lunch.
They are going to be late. She decides she will just have a coffee for breakfast on the way. As if she wasn’t wired enough. But, she feels so tired. She drives a little too fast and has a couple close calls. By the time she gets to work or her appointment she is frazzled.
In the house next door, her alarm goes off before the kids wake up. She gets up thinking of something she is looking forward to during the way to pry herself out of bed. She has a regular bedtime, so it’s easier for her to get up in the morning. Even if she doesn’t get "everything" done she wants to the night before, she knows how important sleep is to her day.
She centers herself with prayer or meditation before a quick walk or a little yoga. The kids wake up and start working on their get ready checklist. Breakfast and their clothes are laid out the night before. There are a few nudges to get back on track. When they are done, then they are able to watch TV if they want.
She grabs the clothes she laid out the night before. She takes a quick shower thinking a good outcome for this day. She peeks out to see how the kids are doing, does a little managing then gets her grooming done.
Only then does she check her phone for the news and peeks at her email while eating her breakfast.
They have time to chat as they get coats and backpacks on and get in the car. They know they aren’t going to be late, so there is an easy-going conversation (and a few "he’s touching mes"). After dropping the kids off, she is on her way.
Which house sounds more like your house in the morning? Are there any tweaks you can make to create a calmer morning?
Simplify by Losing Control
Posted by: | CommentsMy 18 year old son was looking for his first car. He wanted us to check out one of his choices. My husband said he wouldn’t buy that car and told him all the things wrong with it. We had found a couple much better choices and showed him. I spent days fretting about him wanting to get that awful car – wasting time and energy. But, we knew saying no would just have him want to buy it anyway.
A few days later what is affectionately known as "The Turd" was in our driveway. And my son has spent two weekends in a row working on that car with my husband. Unhappily. Lesson learned.
Without me having to control anything.
Trying to control things – what our kids wear, what our husbands do, how our friends live their lives, what everyone eats, how much work our co-workers are doing, how our sister is raising her kids….is a waste of time worrying and manipulating.
Because we don’t have control over other people. Usually natural consequences teach people. Lectures and cajoling doesn’t. So unless they ask for advice, we might as well work on being good role models ourselves. After all, we are the only people we have control of.
How to Tame Materialism with Your Kids
Posted by: | CommentsTia has been using the Declutter Calendar and wants to know how to relate a simple living lifestyle to children.
She feels bad telling her 8 year old daughter, "No, you have enough stuff."
Choosing how you spend
I find children understand better about simple living than adults do sometimes. Adults want to have it all, but children understand there are trade-offs.
Letting them think that you can’t afford things or that they have too much stuff, gives kids a lack mindset. All they see is what they want. And want it even more.
You want to teach them that you choose to spend money in a better way.
You can tell them instead of buying stuff, you are saving money for a vacation or so you can spend more time with them or for a family outing. Most kids would rather have your time anyway. And actually spend that time with the kids.
"I see you want this computer game, but actually I was saving up money to get us swim passes to the local pool. This computer game would be 5 months of swimming."
Ask what they like about what they were looking at and see if you can meet their want in a different way – trading with a friend, creating something at home, renting, or going to Goodwill. They might have alternative ideas as well.
You can also allow kids to do extra work to make money to buy things themselves. You will be amazed at how many times they decide it isn’t worth it when you aren’t handing it to them. If kids complain that all their friends have something, encourage them to play with it at their friend’s house. Let them know other families spend money different ways and this is why you spend the way you do.
Encourage individuality
I also have talked about brand names with the kids since they were little. Talking incredulously that people would buy $200 jeans and $300 purses when there are so many other things and experiences we can buy. Now that they are in high school, neither are interested in the "in" designer clothes. We also talk about being themselves instead of copying other people. (Which meant 2 years of mismatched socks for my daughter as she expressed her individuality.)
1 in, 1 out rule
Make it automatic when they get something new to get rid of something similar. And encourage them to think about kids that might not have as much as they do, that will appreciate what they let go.
Limit TV watching
Keep an eye on TV watching as well. When my kids were younger they rarely watched TV. We had an old TV with an antenna that showed 3 fuzzy channels. So we had videos instead. They never watched Nickelodeon or the Disney channel so they weren’t exposed to many commercials urging them to buy. Even now, if they watch TV it is recorded and they fast forward through the commercials. Half the time they can’t even think of what they want for Christmas or their birthdays.
When you do run across advertising ask your kids what the ads are trying to sell them and remind them that they are too smart to fall for it.
Don’t always take them shopping with you where they can ooo and ahh over things. And make sure you don’t buy things when they whine. Just look at them, raise your eyebrows and say,
"Do you really think that is going to work?"
Keep saying it until they give up.
Teach about the environment
Many kids are also interested in the environmental aspects of minimal living. Show them how we live our life affects the environment and even people around the world. Get them involved in household buying decisions so you can share how you make decisions based on values.
Talk abundance
Remind them how blessed they are to have a warm place to live, good food, or point out beautiful things in nature when you see them. Keep it casual, not preachy. Keep looking for things that you are thankful for. Give kids their own gratitude journals to fill out as a family weekly.
Encourage them to savor what they have and take care of things well, countering a throw-away society. Volunteer with them at places for people that have little.
Show them the joy of creating things instead of buying them: decorations, gifts, clothes. What other ideas do you have for taming materialism with kids?
Simple living is not about not having, it’s about choosing what you have and what you do. The more you teach your kids how to make those decisions based on values instead of feelings of want, the better they will be in the future.
Photo credits: Ninjapoodles, Aaron Escobar, Peasap
