Archive for Time
Getting Out of the House in the Morning
Posted by: | CommentsA tale of two mornings
Her alarm goes off. She hits the snooze. Stayed up too late last night. The alarm goes off, she hits the snooze again. The third time the alarm clock almost ends up being thrown, but instead she grudgingly gets out of bed.
She quick checks her email, facebook, pinterest before realizing now she has to rush to get the kids and herself ready. She sets the kids down in front of the TV with a bowl of cereal while she quick takes a shower after rushing to find an outfit.
When she gets out, kids haven’t made any progress yet on getting ready. They got sucked into the TV. She yells for them to get a move on. She decides there is no time for grooming and just slaps some lipstick on. She wrangles the kids who are looking for a shoe, a backpack and a lunch.
They are going to be late. She decides she will just have a coffee for breakfast on the way. As if she wasn’t wired enough. But, she feels so tired. She drives a little too fast and has a couple close calls. By the time she gets to work or her appointment she is frazzled.
In the house next door, her alarm goes off before the kids wake up. She gets up thinking of something she is looking forward to during the way to pry herself out of bed. She has a regular bedtime, so it’s easier for her to get up in the morning. Even if she doesn’t get "everything" done she wants to the night before, she knows how important sleep is to her day.
She centers herself with prayer or meditation before a quick walk or a little yoga. The kids wake up and start working on their get ready checklist. Breakfast and their clothes are laid out the night before. There are a few nudges to get back on track. When they are done, then they are able to watch TV if they want.
She grabs the clothes she laid out the night before. She takes a quick shower thinking a good outcome for this day. She peeks out to see how the kids are doing, does a little managing then gets her grooming done.
Only then does she check her phone for the news and peeks at her email while eating her breakfast.
They have time to chat as they get coats and backpacks on and get in the car. They know they aren’t going to be late, so there is an easy-going conversation (and a few "he’s touching mes"). After dropping the kids off, she is on her way.
Which house sounds more like your house in the morning? Are there any tweaks you can make to create a calmer morning?
How Green is Your Grass?
Posted by: | Comments“If the grass is greener on the other side it’s probably getting better care.” – Earl Nightingale
Ouch, but it’s true most of the time. We like to think some people were born lucky, and it’s not fair and everything should be easy. But, as a general rule the person you are jealous of has worked very hard.
Which is good, because that means we can do it, too. If it’s only about luck or right connections we don’t have a chance. But, if it’s about doing the work – we can do it.
It also mean you have a choice. Is the time it takes to do the work, worth it to you? Maybe you’d love to be extra fit and run marathons. But are you willing to put in the work and time? You’d love the house to always look great, but do you want to put in the work and time to get it that way? In your heart, what are your true priorities?
Does everything have to be done to the perfectionistic standards? Or can you let go of some of that?
That person you are jealous of because of their great cooking, or powerful career may not have a perfect house or may have 20 pounds they’d love to lose.
No one has the time or energy to be excellent at everything. Becoming masterful takes a lot of time. So some things we do can be average. Or even below average.
Does that idea freak you out? Don’t worry, that’s just your ego talking.
Make your choices based on your strengths, not your ego. What are you going to water so your grass will be green?
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Photo by Designs by Kari
Changing Your Relationship with Time
Posted by: | CommentsRe: New Time Class- Limited Room – March 5, 2012
Attention: Hurried, overwhelmed individuals with too much too do and not enough time to do it
Ask yourself: do you want to live your life in a constant state of hurry and worry?
When it comes to time, have you tried system after system but nothing works?
Or do you keep all your to dos in your head hoping you don’t forget anything?
Or worse, have a time system that takes so much time to manage you wonder if it’s even worth it?
We all want to feel in control of our time, but how do you do it?
I’ve had some questions about the above time class, I thought I’d answer here.
1) What if I can’t make the classes?
About half of the class members don’t make classes. You will get a transcript of each of the classes, the lessons and the workbook. And you can email me any questions you want. Classes are 8pm Eastern. To find your time zone click here.
2) I’ve never done a chat room. That technology makes me a little scared.
It’s simple, simple, simple. Once you login as a guest or register with a user name and password you pick out, you go to the chat room. Then you type in the box and click to submit. Easy as sending an email.
3) Help, I have to many to dos and I don’t know what to do next!
I thought Time Management was the answer. If only I could plan my time well enough and do enough multi-tasking, it would be "enough." I wrote articles with time tweaks and tips which help, but didn’t solve the underlying problem.
I’ve gone through Franklin planners, Bubble planners, Day Timers, a huge monthly calendar, Remember the Milk, numerous online or computer time programs. But, I didn’t stick with many long.
Why?
I didn’t stick with any because when my to dos got to be so many, the program became overwhelming. So I’d quit and start fresh with a new program.
What I didn’t realize was that it wasn’t the program that was the problem. It was my whole relationship with time.
Changing the relationship
For the past couple years, I have gone from seeing time as a tyrannical task master to seeing time as an abstract concept. It’s fluid and subjective.
Now:
- I rarely rush even when I think I will be late.
- I no longer have to do lists that seize me up as soon as I look at them.
- I know the difference between Soft Time and Hard Time
- My priorities are actual priorities
- I listen to my intution more when finding my next to do
- I have quit my over-planning tendency
Just the other day a friend and I were lost in Grand Rapids, MI. She said, "I am so glad you aren’t getting all upset that we will be late for the concert." Time just isn’t a concept I like to get upset about anymore.
Enroll in the 4-Week "Change Your Relationship with Time" Class Now – Limited Room – starts March 5, 2012
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$37 |
You can find out more info on the class here: Change Your Relationship to Time
What Else?
Posted by: | CommentsI had enough of my broken necklace on my desk. So finally I got out the hot glue gun, plugged it in and fixed my clasp. Took less than 10 minutes.
Now I was on a roll, what else needed hot gluing? I hot glued the bird back on the fence of the decoration that is on my porch.
Then there was the piece of corkboard loose on my bulletin board and a rhinestone that had fallen out. I asked my daughter if she had anything she needed fixing. Round the house I went.
After 30 minutes, I had a multitude of items fixed that had been broken for months. And I had so much energy afterwards.
"What else?" has become a habit. If I have a hot glue gun out, I’ll ask what else needs fixing. If the vacuum is out, I’ll ask what else needs vacuuming. If I have the window spray, what else might need spraying. If I am trekking down into the basement, what else can go?
I save time doing it this way and I keep up with upkeep better.
This week, try asking, "What else?"
Wishland
Posted by: | CommentsI woke up this morning with a migraine. Again. I work with many clients with health issues that make it more difficult to simplify and organize. I empathize since I am down for the count about 4 times a month. And I know for many it’s a daily challenge.
I see people get caught up in wishland.
They remember when they were healthy and think, "If only I were well, than I could get things done." They concentrate on that thought so often that they lose energy before they even start on something. When you fight with reality you are the one that suffers.
It doesn’t have to be health either. I remember someone who kept saying, "If only Extreme Home Makeover would come to my home, than my problems would be over." That wish dominated her world and she did little to help herself.
Parents of young children can get caught up in how much more time they had before kids and now it’s "impossible" to get things done.
Life changes. Life can be difficult. But, living in wishland makes things worse by making you feel helpless.
Driving out of Wishland
So how do you get out of wishland?
The first thing to do is watch your thoughts. As soon as you start thinking about how much easier it was in the past or wishing it were better now, stop yourself. (It may help to have an alarm go off every 1/2 hour so you can check in with your thoughts until it becomes more habitual.)
Ask yourself:
- What is my body telling me right now? This morning my body told me to take Excedrin Migraine and go back to bed. I’m behind on my work now, but I can function. If I hadn’t listened I would have plowed through work, ending up with a bigger headache. And out of commission longer.
- What is my current situation – right now? Are my expectations realistic or based on a different time in my life? If you have fybro and it’s a bad day, don’t make your list impossible to do. Be gentle with yourself. If lots of time is taken with caring for an elderly parent, don’t cram more projects into your life.
- What one small step can I take to move forward? People keep emailing me saying how great the declutter calendar is because it breaks things down into such small steps they can declutter without a lot of time or energy. Most things can be broken down. Even five minutes a day can accomplish more than you think.
Make plans based on your current situation.
Work with your challenges instead of pretending they don’t exist or wishing things were different. If you know at 4pm every day you crash, plan for this as recovery time. If you know you only have 5 minutes max to do something because you have young kids, have a list of 5 min tasks on the fridge. If you have good days and bad days health wise see how many bad days you average a week and make your plans accordingly. Don’t plan your day based on an ideal day. Base it on an average day in your current life.
You may think you "need" to do more. You don’t like the limits placed on you.
What if you used those limits to narrow down what is most important to you? Recognizing those limits are opportunities to say, "Reading my child a story is more important than finishing the laundry." "This creative idea I have is more important than playing on Facebook." Wishing for a better day has you wanting to do everything even when you can’t. Then you feel badly about yourself and your life.
But consciously choosing what you have the time and energy for gives you an even more fulfilling life.
So at the end of the day, don’t look at what you could of, should of, would of done. Look at the loving moments. The fulfilling times. What you were able to do.
Where are you stuck in wishland? How can you create a more realistic and fulfilling plan for your life?
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Photo by Alice Popkorn
Getting it All Done on Break
Posted by: | CommentsSo you want to get it all done this break from work? I suggest – don’t.
Most of my clients have super big goals for this week. So I have had to talk some of them down. Vacation time is not only to get your home back in shape, it’s to recover and to spend time with your family.
Check your to do list, is there a balance? Not perfect balance because that is elusive and doesn’t really exist. But, a simple balance.
Do you have home projects on the list, like decluttering the bedroom or getting through some paper piles? Have just a couple on the list and once those are done you can always add more. After all, I am sure there is already some cleaning up from the holidays that also needs to get done.
How about family activities? Maybe visiting the grandchildren, taking the kids to the movies, or having a family game night. Try to have some family time every day on vacation.
Then there is recuperation time. Do you have any relaxing time on your list? Some reading, extra quiet time to think about the year ahead, long walks, or coffee with friends. Add daily recuperation time to your list.
If you don’t enjoy this vacation time, if you have it, then you will start the new year back at work as tired as you left.
How about if you don’t have vacation?
I am self-employed, so I have work to do. I am trying to work less this week, but there is still work. If you have to work this week too, maybe leave most of the home projects and other projects till after the New Year. Enjoy this time with your family & friends and get some evening recuperation time for yourself.
Off to go to the in-laws to celebrate Christmas!
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Photo by: Michael Cory
Self-Directed
Posted by: | CommentsMany times when I talk to people they tell me they are busy and they don’t know how to stop. They have to take the kids here and here and here. Or work is keeping them overtime. Or they have to attend so many meetings.
The biggest difference I’ve noticed between the "too busy" and the "not too busy" is that for the too busy it’s always someone or something else causing the problem.
"Too busy" is the kind of people that makes you exhausted, irritable and like you are missing meaning. Some people can be rushing around like whirlwinds, but they are feeling fulfilled in their lives and energetic. Too busy will seem much different from one person to the next.
In order to become less busy, you need to be self-directed. You can decide how many activities the kids can be in if you are the one driving. You can decide whether you want to join the PTA or not. You get to decide to be more productive during work time so you don’t have to stay late.
You can make your priorities, true priorities. You can make sure you exercise, connect with someone and have quiet time before you watch TV, go to a game or surf the internet.
Trust me, I realize sometimes things happen. People get sick, your daughter gets married, there is a big project at work. Sometimes you may be busy no matter what. But, if you are always too busy, it’s probably not circumstances. It may be you.
Lots of people use busy as a badge of worthiness. I am busy, so I must matter. When they aren’t moving, they get antsy. Some create crises just so they can save the day or complain to others about the drama. Or they stay busy because they are scared other people will get ahead of them. Or look down on them. Staying too busy can be a way of masking feelings they don’t want to deal with.
Where can you take responsibility for the busyness of your life? What are you willing to do about it?
Photo by Eierschneider
Looking Ahead
Posted by: | CommentsOne of the big reasons people lives don’t seem simple, is the lack of looking ahead.
Is it more relaxing to fill up the tank one evening or go to the gas station, wait in line, on the way to work in the morning?
Is it easier to plan a weekly menu and get your groceries at once or think about what you want for dinner every night at 5pm?
Is it more fun to plan for a day off on the weekend or let another Sunday be filled with work and chores?
One of my clients just got a calendar that he can see the week and month ahead with. It’s making a big difference already.
If you set aside time at the beginning of the week to look ahead, you can solve many problems with less effort.
- Look at your appointments for the next week. Anything you need to prep for?
- Look at the upcoming deadlines in the next month. Can you do anything for these projects now?
- Do you have to save money for an insurance payment, vacation or a fridge that is on the fritz?
- What days will you need extra quick meals?
- If you are going to be by the post office this week, can you take your library books if it’s nearby?
Don’t wait for your phone to beep at you to let you know what you need to do. Plan ahead and see how much more breathing space you get.
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Photo by: Joe Lanman
Waiting Time
Posted by: | Comments
I was at the dentist with my daughter for her two hour appointment. I was fine for awhile. I had my phone so I was checking email, unsubscribing to some lists, reading blogs and playing Angry Birds.
Then my phone battery quit.
So I had to get creative:
- Made menu plans
- Wrote a gratitude list
- Brainstormed ideas
- Started a to do list
- Started this blog post
- Decided to do nothing for a bit and enjoy the sound of the rain
What do you do during waiting time? Do you get anxious during waiting time? Why do you think that is?
And one last question – do we really need to be productive with everything we do?
Photo Waiting for the Birds by: Eye of Einstein
Time Zones
Posted by: | CommentsI was talking with a client who wanted more structure in his life. He was thinking about creating a schedule with times like 8am the gym, 9am client work, 3pm clean off desk. I suggested the way that works for me – time zones. Too often if you attach times to routines, the minute you go off track you start thinking the whole day is shot (or is that only me?)
He immediately breathed easier. We both are the type of people that rebel against routine, but at the same time need the structure.
I just updated my Daily Rhythm which is in 4 zones:
- Morning (which includes exercise, quiet time, picking up the house)
- Working with Love and Attention (client calls, marketing, email, clearing desk)
- Time with Family (snack, outside, weeklies, paper, make dinner)
- Evening (after dinner chores, planning for tomorrow, journaling, reading)
No times attached. My client is doing 6 zones feeling the need for a little more structure.
We don’t need to plan every minute of the day, and we don’t need to put in things we already automatically do. I don’t have check facebook, watch TV or talk with my family in my routine because that will get done. It’s mainly for things I know will make my life run more smoothly, but I don’t always remember to do.
If something happens and I can’t get to something in my daily rhythm, I know exactly what is not getting done. That goes for distracting myself. I know if I turn on the TV for breakfast that means I most likely won’t get to quiet time and picking up the house.
What are your goals for the upcoming year? Do you have recurring activities that will help you in those goals? These are great things to put into your daily rhythm. If you want to lose weight you are going to want to find a place for exercise. If you want to learn a language, you might want to add listen to foreign language podcast to your routine. If you want to start meditating, you can add that.
What do you want in your Daily Rhythm?
