The Kids Say Less Stressed Less Tired
ByI’m reading Find Your Strongest Life by Marcus Buckingham and I was surprised by the statistic below.
"A recent study of a thousand 3rd-12th graders asked: "If you were granted one wish that would change the way that your mother’s work affects your life, what would that wish be?" In a parallel study, their mothers were asked to guess what their children would wish for. Here’s what they found: "Most mothers (56%) guessed that their children would wish for more time with them. In fact, only 10% of children made that wish. Their most frequent wish: ‘I want my mom to be less stressed and tired’ (34%)."
Moms think they are hiding the overwhelm, low energy, and stress but the kids see it. The kids want to see mom happier.
I think this is the permission slip that we can let go of some perfectionism. The perfect house, the perfect dinner, the perfect body don’t matter as much as being joyful and relaxed.
What do you think? What are your major stressers? What makes you tired? And what can we do about it?
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How sad is that, through the eyes of a babe.
I think the biggest stress inducer is trying to do too much. Overextending your time and commitments. Kids don’t need to have 45 activities a week to become ‘whole’ adults. A little helping around the house will not kill them, in fact it might just make them a little more independent in the future. Fun doesn’t have to cost a lot of money and neither do you need to fill your house with stuff, causing the need for more working hours to pay the bills. Slow down everyone!
Great post, Beth, and also a great comment above.
I literally sat with my mouth hanging open at this stat.
I have to blog about it or write in my newsletter next week
all so true! Can I just say how much I look forward to your email every week? You are the voice of reason in a world gone mental! Also agree about kids helping with housework. I wish I did more when I was younger – as we had full time help – I never learned to do useful things round the house. Now – sadly- I cannot afford that – and believe me – its not as easy as I thought it would be! The kitchen does not clean itself and nor does the bathroom I was surprised to see. The clothes I throw on the floor no longer re- appear freshly washed & folded in my wardrobe, do your clothes do that? Thank the gods – I learned to cook – otherwise we’d be in real trouble!
What can we do about it? I have an answer, but it is a very unpopular and controversial solution. Quit your jobs or don’t go back to work after you have your babies. Stay home and raise the children you made or adopted. Stay home and clean your home. Make a home for your husband and children.
I know, I know! You can’t afford to. You would really like to be able to, but you just can’t afford to do it. But I bet you could if you paid only cash and bought only what you NEED.
We are too much in love with our material stuff and allow the media and others to set our standards for us. If we downsized and truly lived within our means and bought only what we needed instead of trying to keep up with the Joneses, I bet we and our kids and our husbands would be a whole lot less stressed.
And did I forget to mention God and church! Why don’t we look to Him for our value and worth instead of our stuff?
I am so sick of people complaining about how stressed they are. We do this to ourselves. We put all this pressure on ourselves. We need to wake up before it is too late! Our children all always the ones to suffer when we adults, who should know better, make dumb decisions.
Whew! That’s been building up inside of me for a long time. Thanks for letting me rant for a second or two.
Wow Beth, great post! I am really glad to hear that truth! For SAHMs, I think this is a wake-up call. BTW, thanks for saying it so gently and wisely!