You Get to Choose

Photo by Nevara

On the Simple Self Care call the conversation turned to making choices about your time and the pressure some feel for going places they don’t want to go. One kind woman said she would help out her daughter with a volunteer project the same day her sister’s son was getting married. She realized she wouldn’t be doing anything she chose the whole weekend. I suggested next time she could say something like, "I already have an event scheduled for that day, but thanks for thinking of me."

After the call someone said they decided not to go to two unproductive evening meetings. Feeling worn out she stayed happily at home instead. If something important happened at the meetings she said she would find out anyway.

Often we are worried about missing something or the perfectionist in us says we have to attend every single thing. Even when nothing gets done or you don’t participate much while you are there because you are thinking about everything else you need to do.

Take a look at your schedule next week. How many activities on your calendar do you really want to go to?

Now pick one you really don’t want to attend. This can be scary for certain people. Maybe a baby step would be leaving an event a little early. Many times people won’t even notice.

Another idea is to call the organizer ahead of time and ask if you really need to be there and what is going to be covered.

I think it’s important to support friends and family with what they do. But, if you are not getting any renewing time at home try saying no to one activity.

We forget we are in charge of choosing our lives. Otherwise everyone else will choose it for us.