This was one of my tips this week and I had a question – how do you do that?
A lot of great givers are lousy at receiving.
Why do we give? It makes us feel great and we hope the person we are giving to feel great.
So what happens if you are sick and a friend wants to come over and do some laundry. And you go, "No that’s ok. We’ll be fine." The would be giver feels let down because they don’t have a chance to give.
Why are so many of us bad receivers?
- We don’t want to be a burden
- We don’t want to have to need anyone
- We want to be independant
- We don’t want to owe anyone
- Letting someone help is a loss of control
- We don’t want to be seen as pitied or weak
But, accepting help and asking for help is as important as giving help. Relationships are built on give and take. People feel good when you ask their advice. And most people like to help others. You are depriving them of the opportunity to be generous when you rebuff their offers to help. Accepting help creates a support system and community.
So this week, if someone offers to help try saying, "Why thank you. I would really appreciate that." Deal with the uncomfortable feelings that may come up and keep reminding yourself that you are helping others as well when you receive kindly.