The other day as I was leaving the grocery store, I saw a woman helping an older lady who was struggling with the groceries. She smiled gently and gratefully. Two strangers had a nice conversation on the way to the car. I felt inner joy at the kindness. I looked around and saw others in the parking lot smiling.
A few days later, I was finishing up yoga at the beach and I saw a lady drop some of her beach gear. The person next to her jumped to help, and she snarled, saying she can do it herself. Everyone around her recoiled at the response.
When we don’t accept help, it’s often because we are embarrassed we need help, or we want to look independent. Or worse, we say no to the help because they might do it the “wrong” way. All these instances are the ego talking. The ego is on the defensive, so when ego leads you may feel disconnection.
Not accepting offered help, makes the person offering feel badly. And they are less likely to offer to help other people. The people around feel that energy and are uncomfortable watching.
When you let someone help, they feel good. The people around you feel good and studies say viewers of kindness are more likely to be kind to someone else.
How can you be a person that accepts help? Look at the person offering help with love. Let go of the need to control, look good, and have it all together. That is a lifetime of work, so view instances of being offered help as learning opportunities. Learning to choose love over ego. Connectedness over having to go it alone.
None of us can go through this hard life without help. We are made to be there for each other.