For those in the northern hemisphere, this is the time we want to feel cozy. We had hail when I was coming home from choir practice yesterday and the wind was biting.

But, do we take the time to be cozy. Do we schedule cozy time?

The other evening my husband was at a friend’s house so I created cozy time. (You can see this blog post for making a cozy space.) I put some hot cocoa in a mug next to the couch, got some water and snacks, a fetched my journal, planner and the newest Bella Grace magazine. I lit a few candles, turned down the lights. and space heater on.  I gathered my fleece blanket.

One of my friends says she likes to have chocolate chip cookies and a fire, while reading

Once I was set up, I watched a Hallmark Christmas movie which is not normally my style, but perfect for cozy night. I drank my hot cocoa.

Then I read some of the Bella Grace magazine and filled out the prompts in my journal. I did a little planning for the rest of the year – what I wanted to do, feel, and enjoy.  Petting the cat, while I listened to music. I read a few chapters of my novel before my husband came home.

What would your cozy evening be like?

I don’t like the trend in politics to demonize the other side. To throw around a bunch of “ists” around.  To categorize people you don’t agree with as stupid, uninformed or evil.

I hear stories of how people were friends, but then they found out how they voted. Now they saw their friend totally differently. But, the friend hadn’t changed. They still listened, brought soup, volunteered. Yet, they allowed politics to make it so they can’t be friends anymore.

How are we supposed to work together to solve problems when you can’t even be in the presence of someone that voted differently than you? If you put yourself in such a bubble – only friending people, listening to media, or going to groups that believe exactly as you do – you will find your view of humanity very limited. People don’t have the same experiences in life so they see things differently. Too many people think others see exactly as they do and just choose badly or evilly.

The media likes to take the fringes of political discourse and act like it’s the norm. Showing the harassment and stupid things people say. Portraying monsters. So much of what I have seen is made to make people outraged. That’s how they get clicks and ratings. Things taken out of context. Stupid remarks that were clarified later, but the clarification never is shown. Selectively edited video. Opinion spouted as facts. If you feel yourself getting outraged and emotionally hooked, please do some research and get the context.

Notice your filters that you see things through. Remember other people have different filters. They had different experiences. What may be obvious to you, may not seem true to someone else. What if your family suffered badly economically during President Obama’s years? What if a friend of yours was deported? What if you were falsely accused? What if you were sexually harassed? Our life and the media we consume, creates our filters. That’s why people don’t see things the same way.

What is true, is people in general want to make the world a better place. They just have different ways of doing it.

But, if you are sharing distorted memes aimed at making people look bad, calling names and ists, shouting instead of listening, unfriending, and assuming the worst in people are you really making the world a better place?

I worry about the anger, frustration, outrage that is coming if the group you want in doesn’t get in. I worry about people feeling hopeless.  About people dividing even more. Politics is not where change ends. We can change communities by showing love, volunteering, starting a charity or small business, mentoring a kid, being kind to everyone regardless of politics.

If your party does not win the mid-terms, what are you going to do personally to affect change? How will you be kinder and listen more? How will you come together?

In order to create lives we want to have, we have to take responsibility, ownership of the choices we make.

It’s easy to get tossed about saying yes to too many things. To take more than your share of responsibility for other people’s choices and then claim you don’t have time for your own. To feel the victim of time, only focusing on where you don’t have as much choice, but refusing to choose where you can.

We make choices for all sorts of reasons – so people will like us, to impress, because it seems easiest.

We also decide not to choose – our attitudes, saying no, making space for what is important to us.

Many people prefer to blame other people or circumstances for their choices. But, you can only move forward when you own your choices. Then you can see you really can change and make better decisions.

If our life is not going how we want and we are not meeting our goals, we need to take ownership of the choices we have been making. Are we choosing what other people want for us instead of what is fulfilling? What is fastest rather than what will bring us towards our goals? What creates the biggest splash instead of what our soul wants?

Do you long to enjoy nature, but never make decisions creating the time? When is the next time you can spend 5 minutes outside?

Are you tired of your job and feeling you can’t do anything about it? Can you make the decision to change your attitude? Or upgrade your skills? Or research a new career?

Do you have a creative dream but feeling overwhelmed with everyone else’s stuff so you never get around to it? Notice where you are taking on other people’s stuff. Set a time in the morning before work or the kids get up. Doodle your idea at lunch.

Dig down into why you are making the decisions you are making so you can inch closer to a more authentic, fulfilled life. One small choice at a time.

Need help digging down? I do coaching and have some coaching programs.

Last day of the desk clean-up. How is your desk? I’d love to see before and after pix if you are willing to share.

Here is the worksheet if you haven’t gotten it yet.

Today is desk drawers, spraying down your desktop, doing the last things, making a self-care basket and finally congratulating yourself and actually looking at your clean desk.

Here is the whole series if you missed a day:

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

Day 4

If you want to do more decluttering, join up with the Declutter Group starting Oct. 1.

How is your desk looking? Did you miss some days? You can start again after Day 5.

And if you have been decluttering your desk, you must be feeling really good about your progress. Things don’t have to be perfect to have progress. Don’t let yourself feel badly if things aren’t done “exactly right.”

Today we are going through project files, cubbies and boxes and bulletin boars/whiteboards.

My Bulletin Board before and after.

Here is the worksheet if you haven’t gotten it yet.

Welcome back! It’s Day 3!

I am feeling motivated to keep my desk cleaner since I know you are all working with me.

Take a look at any progress you made so far.

Today we are filing, shredding, labeling cords and going through notebooks.

Below is the worksheet if you haven’t downloaded it yet.

======> Download the 5-Day Desk-Cleanup Worksheet <===========
When you are all done post in the comments for accountability.

If you want to go deeper into sorting papers, here is a video of my living room paper sort method:

https://youtu.be/iKlLDWLLAKc

September 24 is National Innergize Day. This is a day to relax, reflect and rejuvenate yourself, focusing on your inner well-being.

One way to innergize is to create and use a space for your relaxation. We’ve been talking about decluttering and one reason to declutter is to make room for nurturing spaces. Too much of our homes hold objects from the past or “what if I need this” futures. We need places for your current self to enjoy and be renewed.

How to Create a Cozy Retreat

• Find a Space. What area of your home tends to calm you or you can picture it calming you? It can be a corner, a room, an alcove, part of a guest bedroom, a closet, or even the bathroom.
• Declutter the area. Don’t know where to begin? Start at the doorway then keep going left as you declutter. Remove anything that doesn’t say relaxation to you. You want to keep objects that bring you peace. A more minimal room opens up space to create your cozy haven and allows your mind to relax more.
• Color. Do you have soothing colors here? Perhaps a peaceful blue, green, grey or lavender? What color for you signals that it is time to let go? You don’t have to re-paint if you don’t want to, but bring in some decorations, furniture or comforts in that color.
• Furniture. Creating a peaceful and nourishing environment to relax is important in relieving stress. Incorporate comfortable and supportive furnishings to help you unwind. Have a chair that is easy to read in for your favorite reading position. Perhaps a nice ottoman or foot stool. Do you have room for a couch? You might need storage solutions. Think about what you need to make this space support you.
• Natural, relaxing lighting. The blue light of most LED or fluorescent bulbs can agitate your system. So, try a full spectrum light bulb here. Sometimes you can enjoy sitting in candlelight, maybe with warm tea, so have candles nearby. Also, if you will be reading in the evening you can use Red Night Glasses to block out blue light and make it easier to transition to sleep.
• Decorations. Do you have any memorabilia, pictures or photos that make you feel good you would like to display? Perhaps a salt lamp has the ambient light you want. Include just a few soothing, happy decorations. You don’t want to re-clutter here.
• Music and white noise. Music settles the soul quicker than most things. So make sure you have a way to listen – a CD player, an iPod/iPhone speaker system, a vintage record player. How do you like to listen to music? You can also have soothing sounds from a white noise or nature sound machine/alarm system. I use Homedics White Noise Portable Sound Machine. There are many phone apps that have meditative music or nature sounds so you can take your restful place with you. You can create a relaxation playlist for when you are in your retreat place.
• Aromatherapy. Your sense of smell is primal and can have a powerful effect on how you feel about a space. Some of the most relaxing essential oil scents are chamomile, clary sage, lavender, rose and ylang ylang. You can use these scents in a variety of ways. I use a this portable diffuser. You can also use a carrier oil like jojoba oil and a few drops to massage into the skin. Before I got my diffuser I would put some drops of oil on cotton balls nearby. If your relax space is in the bathroom you can put 5 drops or so in your bath. You can use a spritzer to combine water and about 10 drops of oil. Keep a basket of your essential oil supplies in your area.
• Touch. We’ve talked about what we see, hear and smell in a relaxing space. How about what you touch? A cozy blanket. Warm slippers. Massage lotion to rub your feet. A Back Buddy or other massage tool. A foot bath. A yoga mat. Bring at least one thing into your space that nurtures your sense of touch.
• Nature. I adore walks in nature for reconnecting to the soul so I try to bring the natural world back into any relaxation space. It can be a window with bird feeders outside. Or a shelf of stones and shells. Flowers from the farmer’s market. Green plants. Pinecones from walks. Driftwood from the beach. Where can you add nature?
• Books. What are some of your favorite childhood books? Perhaps there are books with relaxation tips you own. Do you have a yoga book or a spiritual book that feels like coming home? Include a shelf of books, hide them in a pretty bag or have a couple stacked somewhere or in between fantastic bookends.
• Spiritual. Find space for whatever spiritual practice you have or want to have. Maybe a meditation cushion, prayer journal, mala beads, or a gratitude list.
• Creative. Some people like to relax with art. Do you have a table you can set up for coloring, watercolor painting, drawing, scrapbooking, etc.? You can have a box or storage unit with a few supplies. This isn’t necessarily a craft room which can be an overwhelming place. It’s a spot to dabble in your art if that calls to you.

You don’t need to use all these suggestions. You will want to include what nurtures you in your space. It will also depend on how big an area you have. You don’t want an overwhelming, cluttered space.

What one thing can you do today to create a cozy retreat place for you? Then schedule time to enjoy your haven.

Welcome to Day 2 of the Desk Cleanup!

How is your desk looking today? A little better? I want you to acknowledge any improvement to motivate you for today. You are in charge of your space, so let’s get to it.

Today we are going to declutter and organize those desk supplies, go through CDS and computer programs and get all your papers into an in-box to sort.

Below is the step-by step worksheet if you haven’t downloaded it yet.

======> Download the 5-Day Desk-Cleanup Worksheet <===========

When you are all done post in the comments here for accountability.

Together we can do this!

I’m excited to see you back here tomorrow.

Welcome to Day 1 of the 5-Day Desk Clean Up…are you ready?

I know desks are a big pain to keep clean. Yes, that is a before picture of my desk a couple years ago. But, it still gets that way sometimes.

First, I want to say that you don’t have to have a clean and organized desk. If you work best in mess, than that is fine. Or you can clean up during this challenge, but not push yourself to perfectionism. I will never have a minimalist desk because I find them boring. I like inspirational cork boards, salt lamps and a bunch of different colored pens.

The only reason to declutter and organize your desk, is if it is hindering your work. If you can’t find things, the space is making you feel heavy and claustrophobic, or papers are getting lost it may be time to take care of it.

Here’s a fun playlist for while you work.
www.youtube.com/watch…

======> Download the 5-Day Office-Cleanup Worksheet <===========

Today we will be working on trash and books.

When you are all done post here for accountability!

I can’t wait to see your decluttered desks in 5 days! You are fantastic!

One way to simplify your life, is to not assume life needs to cater to your preferences.

We don’t like to think we do this, but how many times have you complained that the food isn’t to your liking, the temperature is too hot or too cold, you don’t like the music, that video is stupid, a TV show is awful, the app doesn’t work how you want it to, the phone isn’t completely intuitive to your needs, or the weather is terrible.

The thing is, your preferences are not everyone’s preferences. Some people like that food, temperature, music, video, TV show, app, phone or the weather. Not everything is made for everybody.

So instead of complaining, writing a bad review or sending on a really stupid video so everyone else can see how stupid it is, acknowledge that this isn’t for you. Delete the comment, find a different video or restaurant, put on headphones to listen to music you like or open your mind about what you might be able to like about that music.

Don’t waste your time being negative about stuff that isn’t your preference.  The world doesn’t need more negativity right now and it leeches your energy and the energy of those around you.

Instead of another gripefest, share stuff you love, compliment, look for reasons to like something rather than dislike something. Ask, “How is this great?” See potential.

Move on when you don’t like it.  How freeing would that be?