We all want more. As soon as we hit a goal, we want the next goal. We want the latest tech. I’m enticed by new books or magazines when my Kindle is full. Or a new course before I finished the last one.

New gives us that dopamine hit which we like. That new shirt, new decor, new gadget. It doesn’t have to be new – only new to us

We all want more. As soon as we hit a goal, we want the next goal. We want the latest tech. I’m enticed by new books or magazines when my Kindle is full. Or a new course before I finished the last one.

New gives us that dopamine hit which we like. That new shirt, new decor, new gadget. It doesn’t have to be new – only new to us. I know people that spend every weekend on the hunt at garage sales or antique shops.

What if we got that burst of happiness, by making our lives into art. Using what we have, but re-arranging it. Slowing down to set a beautiful table and turn on music. Puttering. Taking care of our garden.

The problem is everything we bring into the house, needs to be maintained. We need to clean it, organize it, use it. If not, you end up with clutter. Mementos get strewn around in the basement and decay. Books stay on shelves unread and dusty. We can’t find a place for the latest thing we had to have so it’s stuck in a corner for now.

It’s hard to live a life of beauty and presence when we are surrounded by stuff. If we can’t maintain what we have, bringing more will not make our lives better.

The details create your life. A clean space for a vase of flowers. Journaling by the fire in the morning. A beautiful pen and thankful heart as we pay bills.

In a rush of more, we have less time to write a note to a family member. We recently had a funeral for a woman who was like a Grandma to me. Her relatives talked about getting letters from her and her request for “good mail.” It’s the little everyday things that matter and are remembered.

But, the struggle to work more, for more money, to buy more stuff, which takes time to take care of, leaves us with less time and room to make art out of our lives. If we pare down what we own and what we do, we have time not only to maintain, but to beautify. To enhance. To make our mark.

I love to polish my piano which used to be my Great-Grandma’s. It’s the only thing of hers I have besides pictures. It’s enough.

It’s hard to set a lovely table if it has a bunch of papers on it. The fridge can get so full, that food spoils. Too much makeup and getting ready in the morning becomes less enjoyable.

Take a moment to look over your life. How well are you maintaining what you have? Are your possessions getting regular care? How about your relationships? Are your books getting read and courses learned? Do you have the time to create beautiful or restful moments?

I know some times of life are more hectic than others, but if you noticed that this has become a habit how can you do and buy less? Can you think about where something will fit in your life before you buy? Can you finish that book, course or craft project before buying more? (You can keep a wish list to keep track of what you want, so you don’t have to buy at once. Who knows, after you think about it maybe you won’t want it anymore.)

Society will always lure us with why we need more. But, we know we can create our own beautiful life, by curating what’s important, having less and gracefully taking care of the moments of our lives.

***

Photo by Oshin Khandelwal on Unsplash

Many of us feel under constant pressure. Stressed, busy, and overwhelmed. Almost everyone we meet is, as well. We read about it on social media. Text our friends about it.

Some of us have major difficulties – financial, health, loss.

But, many of us have made small, normal setbacks and deadlines into huge, stressful things. When we think of to do lists, it’s always too much. We don’t think we have time. Plus we are sure we aren’t enough. We feel the tightness in our chest and feel queasy in the stomach.

Much of this stress is self-imposed by our expectations and what we tell ourselves.

When you look at your to do list are you seeing all the actions you gratefully get to do because you have a job, or health or family? Or are you filled with dread because you are telling yourself it all has to get done today and done perfectly.

One thing when we look at our to do list is to notice not everything has to be done today. Maybe we’d feel better about ourselves if we got it all done (hello, ego). But, pushing it out another day or two may not do anything terrible.

Most of the tasks on your to do list aren’t things that don’t impact your life or the business you are in. (If you have a bunch of those on your list, maybe ask why.) So instead of looking at tasks on your list, think about the bigger picture, the goals, the values, the gratitudes these mean.

I get to talk to my Declutter Group because I have my own business and work from home and get to help others. I am calling the doctor because I have a prescription that works for me. Plus I value health. I need to do my monthly financials because I made an income and I received some great services I paid for. I also want to live in financial integrity.

What if instead of saying, “I’m busy,” when asked how you are, you say, “I am happily productive.” Or, “I am pursuing my goals.” What would feel freer to you to say instead?

Think of yourself as having a richly layered life instead of one full of pressure and busyness. We can look at our full lives with joy or see them as burdens.

Most things are not a 10 on the ‘need to worry about this’ list. But, because of constant self-pressure we start seeing every little thing as a 10. That’s when life starts to feel super hard.

How stressed do you get when life doesn’t flow smoothly? There is traffic? Something breaks? Stuff that happens to everyone in a normal life. Do you get testy often with your family? Do you say, “I just can’t handle one more thing.”

We need to break out of that. Give ourselves and others grace when mistakes are made. Ask for deadline extensions. Meditate before or after work to remind you that your thoughts aren’t necessarily correct. Ask if your stressful thoughts are helpful or could you think about something another way. Walk in nature. Breathe. Give yourself extra space and extra time. Move slower. Do a less than perfect job purposefully on something that doesn’t matter that much.

Be the one person you know that isn’t crazy busy. Or at least think of yourself as less busy and more blessed.

Autumn is a breeze that asks if you want a jacket. An apple covered in caramel and fudge that crunches when you bite into it. A drive to see leaves of different colors where the trees create a canopy over the road.

It’s a resurgence of energy and wanting to learn. For hikes without mosquitoes in boots instead of sandals.

It’s the soft green jacket coming out. Fires mornings and evenings on the weekend. Colorful mums on the porch.

Fall is the bright harvest moon. Autumn is warm cider and reading. It’s the dying away of pink summer flowers. Harvest of tomatoes and corn.

Fall is my birthday season – a time to dream and plan. TV shows with old friends come back on. Motorcycle rides where we are surprised by color.

It’s saying goodbye to weekly excursions to the beach and hello to cooler evening walks.

What is autumn to you?

Is Clutter Overwhelming You?

Quit waiting for your home to get decluttered on its own. Get a handle on the clutter in your house by working together, breaking it down and following a simple guide.

You know what to do, you’ve been trying by yourself for years only to throw in the towel after a few big decluttering sessions.

Decluttering works better together. Support. Accountability. Way to gos.

LIMITED SPACES – Starts Oct 7, 2019

Declutter Group

I’ve been reading the book Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport. I had been concerned about the affects of so much distraction and connection. But, you know, for other people. Certainly not me.

I worried about losing deep thought as we are fed things that may or may not be true by the media and social media designed to get a reaction to get views and shares. It seems people fall into their camps on whatever issue without looking at the other side, without noticing the manipulation of feelings. What do you think of a liberal? What do you think of a conservative? What if it wasn’t true? Have you even checked? Have you had live conversations where you didn’t want to push your view, but you wanted to understand?

With no quiet for thinking, everyone is spurting out talking points fed to them from whatever media they consume. Which comes in rapid fire with one “outrage” after another.

And of course all the gatherings where people are sitting around looking at their phones or in restaurants or at the playground. You talk to someone and you can feel them pulling away when they want to “quick check” their phone.

Plus, I often see (in myself as well) using multiple technologies at once. Watching TV while playing on the tablet while texting. Half watching a video while emailing. Reading an ebook only to jump to an app that pinged.

We used to spend way less time interacting with our phones and playing on our tablets. The technology was created to be addictive and it is. If we aren’t aware, we can easily get sucked in.

Newport says digital minimalism is focusing “online time on a small number of carefully selected and optimized activities that strongly support things you value and then happily miss out on everything else.” He suggests asking is this the technology to support this value best?

The stats were not comforting. He says kids born after 1995 are more anxious than past generations. Part of this is the lack of solitude and constant online comparisons.

The average Facebook user uses some form of Facebook 50 min a day. There is an app called Moment that tracks cell phone use. The average user spends about 3 hours a day looking at their smartphone screen and picks up their phone 39 times a day. And these are people trying to slow down their use.

A digital fast from optimal technologies is what Newport suggests, replacing it with meaningful activities like solitude, journaling, music, learning new skills, meditating, and actual conversations.

It turns out, this is more difficult than anticipated. I am starting over today after somehow going down the Facebook/news rabbit hole yesterday after being off them a week except for business.

“I am waiting for a video to download so I might as well peek at the news.” “That news article is taking awhile to load, let me look at Facebook.” Then I am getting angry with nice people being completely close-minded and separating from each other. Back to the news which is trying to get me angry and succeeding.

Only then did I remember the digital fast. Oh yes, I am supposed to be allowing space as I wait instead of filling it immediately. I am seeing what life would be without reading everything, playing every game, or allowing every input that comes my way.

I’m sure everyone thinks it’s other people who have the problem with technology. We usually have a blind spot to our own. Not sure? Try the 30 day digital fast on unnecessary technologies and see.

Besides the fast he suggests some other ideas:

• Carefully select, based on what is important to you, newsletters, blogs, social media, news services (preferably a curated one like allsides.com)
• Cull people you follow on social media to a reasonable amount (the suggestion was 150 people)
• Have a curfew for your phone
• Spend time daily without technology
• Batch text messages
• Reclaim your leisure with something other than technology like outdoor projects, exercise, reading, writing, playing an instrument, swimming, crafting, classes, board games, fixing, building, learning, joining.
• Delete social media from your phone and only use it on the computer
• Be mindful with news and realize news 24 hours after the fact is more complete. Read from the opposite of what you naturally support.
• Choose when you use technology. Put limits on.

In general, be mindful and conscious with your technology. Don’t follow every ping (in fact turn notifications off.) Limit the blogs you read, people you follow, and game apps you have. Take your life off line sometimes. Don’t allow everyone else to tell you what to think. Contemplate. Let’s see if we can do things like laundry, eating and going to the bathroom without a digital distraction.

If you try the digital fast, I’d love to hear about it in the comments. And if you have any tips on reducing technology use you can put those there as well.

Remember we are in charge of our technology. Let’s act like it.

This is an excerpt from my book, Create the Declutter Habit.

• Delete the ones you don’t like or are duplicates
• Move your photos from your camera or phone weekly or monthly depending on how fast you fill it up
• Have computer folders for each year. Create folders with the year first, then the date and what it was. ie 2018-07-greatblueheron Then the pictures will stay in chronological order
• If you don’t take that many pictures you can organize by season ie 2017-Fall
• Back up your pictures regularly – Amazon Prime has photo storage as does Google Drive. You can back up to Dropbox or Mediafire. Or to a flashdrive or other hard drive.

Photo Management Software – not necessary, but nice

1. For the Mac: iPhoto
2. Google Photos
3. Portfolio

If you want to create quick albums from digital photos:

• Shutterfly
• Snapfish

Other Photos

• Only do 15-20 min at a time if you feel overwhelmed
• Spread them out so you can see them
• Decide whether you want to put them in an album, scrapbook, frame or photo box or a combination
• Do a quick sort for bad photos you can toss
• Sort into categories
• Decide whether you want to arrange them chronologically, by event or by subject
• Duplicates can go out to family and friends
• Put them in the box or album labeled
• Keep them in a cool, dry area

Now: Maintain

            1) Weekly or monthly move your photos from your camera or phone to your computer.

            2) Monthly or quarterly go through your photos, picking the best ones and sorting by date so you can find them again.

            3) Quarterly or automatically back up your digital pictures.

If you didn’t know, I often post today’s declutter action step from the Declutter Calendar on the My Simpler Life Facebook Page. This past week I posted, “Declutter china you don’t use”.

This was actually quite controversial. Some people said you should use it instead. I love that idea of using your beautiful things. Someone else said she wouldn’t use it as it’s not her style.

One person said they were unfollowing? In jest, I’m not sure.

Quite a few people said they feel they should, but can’t bring themselves to do it. I think china often falls under sentimental items. You can deal with it the way you would other items like that. Decide how much of your home you want to use to store or display the past, and curate what you keep. Almost everyone has sentimental items. If you want to keep your china – go for it.

I love when you are able to display or at least store carefully the sentimental items. Too often they end up gathering dust, getting broken or not easily found. So if you keep your china or other sentimental items decide what you will do with them.

I always consider the Declutter Calendar as a guide. If you don’t know what to declutter today, look at the calendar and get a nudge. You never, ever have to declutter what’s on that day or anything else. We can’t know what’s important or useful for another person.

Your home is your home and you get to choose what is part of it.

As my 20-year old cat has gotten older, he has gotten more focal. In the first couple hours of work, he will come in the meow for his soft food about 5 times. Sometimes right after I have fed him and food is still in his bowl. I have to point his face to the full bowl and he will happily eat it up.

If I don’t get up right away to feed him, he will meow over and over and over. I love my cat, but by this point I am annoyed by him.

I was tired of feeling frustrated at my cat all my work day, so I needed to reframe this interruption. I started to see it as a chance to show love to my cat, Thomas. I would talk sweetly, sometimes pick him up and pet him before bringing him to the kitchen.

This loving time made me feel less frustrated. It also brought some much-needed lightness to my day. A little shot of love, that helped me with my other work.

Most of us deal with interruptions during our day. Some, more than others.

Life isn’t all about what we plan. Meaningful moments often come as interruptions or unexpected events. When we only want to follow our plan, we can miss out on opportunities to connect. Like the phone call you “don’t have time for” or the doorbell ringing or the last-minute invite. How about the kid who has said, “Mommy, look,” for the millionth time today?

Interruptions are going to happen. We can either get anxious and upset, or we can reframe them into opportunities to love and connect.

Now I need to go feed my cat who is sitting on the floor next to my chair meowing and glaring.

When the weather heats up, the urge to travel naturally increases. Traveling can be both fun and exciting, but unfortunately it also has a largely negative impact on the environment. Before you rush out the door to parts unknown, make sure you are traveling in an eco-friendly manner. Whether you’re headed to another city, country, or continent, keeping the environment in mind can still be a priority. Even though the changes you make may seem small, we can do what we can to help reduce our ecological impact.

Research your Companies

Eco-friendly travel may be somewhat of a challenge, but it used to be much more difficult. Fortunately, there are more companies dedicated to sustainable travel.

Hyatt for example, currently holds a 64% Corporate Social Responsibility rating, which is very impressive for a hotel conglomerate of their size. They’ve also announced an Environmental Sustainability Strategy to reduce their energy consumption and greenhouse gas emissions by 2020. I loved the Hyatt Place I stayed at in Charlottesville, North Carolina. My friends rave about cruises though I’ve never been on one. Virgin Voyages is an all-inclusive luxury cruise line which has the practices of eliminating ocean waste, and converting geothermal heat into clean electricity.

Whatever kind of trip you’re planning, doing some research before you book will ensure you’re patronizing like-minded companies.

Do Not Disturb

If you’re planning an extensive stay in a hotel, consider cleaning your own room. The maintenance staff at a hotel will use copious amounts of water per day washing their patrons’ sheets and towels, and waste additional energy and electricity on continually vacuuming rooms. You can do your part to reduce this by simply utilizing your “Do Not Disturb” sign when you leave your room during the day. Cleaning up after yourself is not only a good habit to be in, but it will help guarantee no additional water or energy will be unnecessarily used on your behalf.

Some hotels give you the option when you check in to do housekeeping only after 2 or 3 days.

Go Local

Once you’ve arrived at your destination, the best thing you can do to support sustainability is to shop, eat, and drink locally. Giving your money to the community helps local culture flourish. Eating locally also encourages you to try new foods that you wouldn’t normally find at home. One of my favorite parts of traveling is trying the local cuisine.

Be sure to gently enjoy the natural areas around as well. Each new place gives you new wildlife to observe and views to take in.

Before You Leave

Sustainability starts at home! Even though you may be headed elsewhere, you may still be wasting energy at home. Most appliances and devices will continue to draw energy even when they are turned off. For some, the difference in energy consumption while they’re on versus when they’re off is negligible. Items like a washing machine, Apple TV, or your cable box will continue to use almost as much power while they’re off, while things like your television, routers, and modems, are never technically “off” to begin with. If you want to keep your energy usage to a minimum, make sure that all non-essential appliances and devices are fully off and unplugged before you leave for your trip.

These are just some of the things you can do to make your next expedition eco-friendly. What are some of your favorite tips and tricks for travel?

I used to be the biggest procrastinator. I had great intentions, but not much follow-through. I never wanted to do it. My to do list created a struggle. But, working from home I need to get myself to do my work.

Here are some ideas on what worked to get me unstuck so I could get stuff done.

Get Clear on What You Want to Do

Most of us feel we have too much to do to spend time planning. Not to mention, people (ok, me) can get carried away with the planning and not do much. Fancy planners or bullet journals. Intricate to-do systems. Detailed project plans that fall apart as soon as the project changes.

But, if you don’t do any planning, it’s hard to know what to do and what has higher priority.

Spend a five minutes thinking and jotting what you need to do down in a notebook. Then pick the next three items to work on.

If you are still scattered, organize your desk or workspace for some space around you and in your head.

Feel How It Will Feel When Done

We tend to think about all the work and reasons why we don’t want to do something when the energy is at the end. How will you feel when you have accomplished it? Got it off your plate? Made progress?

If you are coming up with some major resistance, don’t run away to Instagram – figure out the feelings. Are you afraid of something? Are you putting a lot of self-pressure on yourself? Are you not feeling confident?

When you figure out the resistance you can work with it. Reminding yourself they are thoughts, not truth. Making the task easier. Creating a reward. Upping the self-talk. Watching a quick motivation video.

Start the Day with Projects

It’s easy to get right into email or social media in the morning. But, for me, I have the most energy in the morning. I want to make progress on the harder, more meaningful projects within the first work hour.

Willpower wanes throughout the day making it harder to push yourself to get things done. Maybe schedule meetings, routine tasks and communications during the afternoon.

Don’t forget to break those projects down into 15-30 minute segments so you don’t have a mammoth task on your to do list. What are the next two actions of your projects? Can you plan one early tomorrow?

Random

Some days your to do list is full of bits and pieces. Smaller tasks. But, they are so numerous. How do you choose?

Get random. Either making a numbered list and using https://www.random.org/ to choose your next thing. Or write them on pieces of paper and pick a task out of a jar.

If you can get moving on something – anything – you will feel less overwhelmed.

On the weekend sometimes I will do 3 tasks per line – 1 work, 1 home and 1 personal so I know I am somewhat balanced.

Breaks and Focus

For me it’s helpful if I know I don’t have to do something forever. I like the tomato-timer where I can work 25 minutes then have a 5-minute break. I don’t let myself play on Facebook, check email or get lost online until break time. Most of us have limits to our focus.

Focus on the task and notice when your mind wanders so you can bring it back. We get work done faster if we focus on now and not what you may need to do in the future or a past drama. You may want to set a timer for shorter than 25 minutes if you are having trouble staying on task. When it dings you can check to see if you were on task.

Sometimes I’ll get in the flow and go over my 25 minutes. But, the timer was good to get me started. Other days 25 min seems like a long time. If I know I have a break coming up I am less likely to get distracted.

During breaks I also like to dance a bit, take some deep breaths or do some stretching to get the blood moving again – hopefully to the brain.

Get Accountability

When I was a stay-at-home mom I did almost daily challenges with online friends to keep up with the house. Now I have a weekly accountability session with Marcia for both business and house goals.

I do accountability with some of my clients, either as an email accountability partner or in our coaching sessions. I also host every-once-in-awhile Get it Done Days reminiscent of my old challenge days. (The next one is July 8th.) No one likes to admit they get more done with a group or accountability. But human nature being what it is, most of us get much more done.

Notice When You Did It

Too often we move from one task to another on the little hamster wheel. No wonder we seem to think we are always behind. Pause, notice what was completed, and give yourself a little pat on the back (or get it from someone else if you are doing a challenge). Then you can move on. Sometimes taking 3-6 breaths between tasks can help you pause.

What is your trick for getting stuff done when you don’t want to? Any of the above ideas you are willing to try?