I’ve always had an active imagination. Many hours in my youth were spent daydreaming, making up stories, going off into fantasy-land. I would create plays, videos and radio commercials. Stones at a campsite would turn into a hero’s tale. I had my own ant circus at one campsite.

It recently occurred to me that while I still had an active imagination, it is usually making me more worried and anxious. I create “what if” scenarios or imagine the worst. My brain shows me what could go wrong and bad conversations that haven’t happened. I don’t have dreams at night, I only have nightmares.

I decided it was time to reign in the imagination. I am putting my imagination to work for me instead of against me.

I started by bringing the fun back into my imagination. Books by Jill Badonsky provide inspiration to think creatively. I create enjoyable stories and poems for amusement. Every Thursday is creative night to play.

I allow myself to daydream pleasant times. When I start to create a bad “what if?” scenario I play with visualizing a wonderful outcome.

I give myself time to create helpful plans, brainstorm, and have ideas.

Most importantly, I remind myself that all those fears and anxieties are only part of my imagination. I can imagine something different. Often now, I do.

I don’t always and I still get caught up in bad scenarios. But, the more I practice using my imagination for good, the more it comes naturally again. I have less anxiety, fear and worry.

What are you creating with your imagination?

***

Before

When my Mom passed away, I inherited her card collection. She was considered a card lady – never missed a birthday, congratulations, condolence or get well soon.

I have been sending more cards since her death as a reminder of her caring.

But, the rolling cart that stored cards was quite cluttered and messy. So, when “rolling cart” came up in the Declutter Calendar I decided it was a great time to handle it.

I got rid of a box of unmatched envelopes, a couple old notebooks, and some miscellaneous clutter that didn’t belong there to begin with.

After

P.S. Lent is March 6th if you are interested in my Simplifying for Lent $1.99 guide.

One of my frustrations each morning was cleaning my yogurt container after making my morning smoothie. I make my own yogurt, so I have glass jars I can’t throw out.

The container always has yogurt/milk in the rings where the top screws on.

Then the other night I thought, “What if I slowed down a fraction more when I am ladeling the yogurt mix into the yogurt maker? Fewer drips. Less mess to clean up every morning.

The added time was probably less than 20 seconds total. The little bit of slowing down saved time and frustration in the morning.

Can you think of a place where slowing down a bit might give you more time and less frustration?

I have been reading Walter Isaacson’s Leonardo Da Vinci. I am fascinated by Leonardo’s ideas and his notebooks where he posed questions, made observations, sketched inventions and drew. He didn’t have a high level of education and never grasped algebra. Yet, all this ruminating made him one of the geniuses of his generation.

No TV, internet or even radio existed in the 1400s. I was wondering about the multitude of inventions and big thoughts we aren’t having as a society because we are so focused on media.

We think other people’s thoughts. We like other people’s memes and sit to watch other people’s stories. We don’t have time for deep thinking because we are flooded with thoughts outside of ourselves. Scrolling has replaced deep thought.

This year I have added “thinking time” to my to do list. At least once a week I hang out with my brain without outside distractions – brainstorming ideas, coming up with solutions to problems, daydreaming and playing in my imagination.

I like to play with concepts in my head. Or delve further into something I have learned, allowing curiosity to lead. Many times writing ideas pop up or a different way to do things. Sometimes I write them down. More often I feed the idea until it’s ready. Eric Maisel calls this “holding” an idea.

Often I hear people discuss problems they are having, but they don’t go further to thinking about what might help. Letting your mind free to come up with bountiful solutions allows you to experiment. Leonardo loved to experiment. He would come up with ideas, play with them, observe effects and try something else if it didn’t work. Or to try something else for the experience of it.

Thinking is important to project planning as well. The first step for me in any project is thinking time instead of rushing in. I like to brainstorm, look at obstacles that might come up and how to deal with them. Or think of out of the box ideas to put in place.

To add in thinking time, I have cut down on TV and social media time. When my brain is overfull of other people’s ideas, it’s hard to create my own. Sometimes I turn off the car radio to think.

I noticed last year that media had creeped in more often. An audiobook to wash dishes by. A podcast to walk to. Instagram while I waited. Time that used to be spent daydreaming and thinking. Sometimes when motivation is low, these are great. But, if you can’t do anything without quiet space it may be time to evaluate.

Do you want to be the consumer? Or do you want to be the innovator, the artist, the philosopher? Where can you add thinking time to your life?

It is cold here in Michigan at the moment. Soon it will be, “stay outside 15 minutes and get frost-bite” cold. It’s time to hunker down. We’ve already had snow days and there are more to come.

What can you do with the kids when they can’t get outside and everyone is antsy?

Some frugal, family-time options:

• Set up a card table and put up a jigsaw people for everyone to doPop some real popcorn on the stove and catch some family-friendly movies.
• Build a pillow and blanket fort
• Light candles, gather blankets and make hot cocoa for a family reading afternoon
• Have a dance party with fancy outfits and glitter lotion
• Write real cards or letters to friends and relatives. Better yet, make your own!
• Board game/card game night
• Pull up Karaoke on Youtube and have a sing-a-long. Or if family members play instruments do a little talent show.
• Set up a table to do crafts – paints, play-doh, or some snow day only crafts
• Do some fun, science experiments
• Create a scavenger hunt where kids need to find items from a list you make up
• Bake cookies from Grandma’s recipe

Stay cozy this winter!

I recently asked for questions I could help you with and received this one that I think is very common:

How do YOU handle (or how do you recommend other people handle) the guilt from other people when decluttering?

You know the ugly ceramic from your sister-in-law or a birthday gift you will never use. A sweet gift from a spouse. How do you declutter without hurting feelings?

And let’s not forget the relative that is always giving you something from a distant relation and laying on the guilt about receiving it and keeping it.

This is the kind of scenario that happens all throughout our lives. Wanting to have autonomy on our homes and our lives and having well-meaning people we don’t want to hurt, interfere.

One thing to remember, is that guilting someone is a form of manipulation to get someone to do what you want. Most parents or grandparents have done it at some point with their kids and/or grandkids.

But, as adults we don’t have to buy into it. At some point we need to take ownership of our choices included keeping something because we were made to feel guilty or refusing and feeling badly.

What are some ways of refusing gently?

Perhaps, “Wow this is wonderful. I wonder if the local historical museum would enjoy it so more people can see it. “

or, “Thanks so much for thinking of me, but I have been trying to declutter. I don’t have enough space for our stuff, much less other’s people’s things. I’m sure you understand.”

“Wow, Aunt Marilyn had great taste. Unfortunately it’s not my taste. It deserves to be shown and I would just hide it in a box. Who else do you think might like it?”

“I love you so much and am happy you want to keep memories alive. But, I don’t have the room to be a historian. What else can we do with it?”

What if you already have it and think they might visit?

This is up to you. If you know for sure it would hurt their feelings and you just can’t, put it away until they come over.

But, I think most of us are adult enough to know that not everything we give is a perfect fit. We try, but it doesn’t always work.

I can’t recall things I have given, so I wouldn’t even notice if something was out or not. I’m sure there are a lot of people that way.

If someone does notice, you might have to gently explain why you had to let it go (not enough room, moved on from that hobby, someone else asked about it and really wanted it). It’s not something wrong you did. You just didn’t keep something you didn’t want in your space.

Some people may get terribly offended. You know who they are. That’s why you get to use your discernment to see if it’s better to keep something or allow someone to be offended.

There is a choice. We may not want to make it. But, that’s how we create the lives we want. With the choices we make. Sometimes you will end up disappointing someone or hurting someone’s feelings if you are creating your life with your choices.

We also don’t get to choose how other people re-act. So think if you want to live your life basing your choices on hopefully never offending or hurting someone’s feelings or in the way your soul is actually leading you.

In a normal life, unfortunately, you will disappoint someone or make someone mad or offend someone if you try to live a simpler, soul-driven life. But, the alternative is to tip-toe through life, never making waves (and limiting your impact on the world). Be kind always. But, that doesn’t mean you need to bring other people’s guilting into yourself.

Be kind. Be loving. And start noticing how many times you trade “being nice” for living how you choose. Too often and you start living other people’s lives instead of your own.

Need some support in letting go and dealing with other people in the midst of it? Join the Declutter Group.

There are days like the past couple days where I feel like a failure. Not everything gets done. I was in a bad mood. I called a client an hour early. We had peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for dinner.

Then there is the added pressure of a new year where we are supposed to have it all together.

Turns out it was PMS with low energy and a migraine coming. But, this sensitive time brings to the surface thoughts that I can often bury. I am reminded where I still think in society’s standards. And feel shame of not living up to them.

I’ve tended towards going my own way. From starting my own business and working from home to letting my daughter where mismatched socks to school and forgoing bake sales. I like to think of myself as a non-conformist. I refuse to diet and let others dictate how I look. I set my own hours. We eat dinner at 4pm.

But, being a human creature, there is still that wanting to belong and not wanting to disappoint. I don’t like that it’s there, but it’s there for most people. So whenever I start to feel lots of pressure and feelings of failure, I know I have drifted from my inner guidance to the outside world.

Ways I get out this thinking:

• Remembering I am human and connection is how we are built. These feelings are normal.
• Going into prayer, finding my faith, believing in God’s timing and that what needs to get done will get done
• Slowing down between tasks and activities so I can think and process instead of going on automatic
• Reminding myself it’s arrogant to think I can get out of making mistakes. No one can. So I can ask for forgiveness instead of wallowing in energy-draining guilt.
• Staying off social media for a bit and not comparing my life to others
• Or more often comparing my life to the ideal in my head, where I always fall short and feel not enough. I check in with the now and see what’s good and what I can make better. That’s the only place you can change.
• Allowing myself to set my own standards for what is priority in my life at this time. I get to choose since it’s my life.

What new thought patterns might help you today?

It’s easy to feel overwhelmed and that we are already behind when we start a new year. We place more expectations on ourselves to buckle down and get it all done. Here are some tips to make it easier:

1. Ask yourself if you are doing something out of obligation, as a should or if it really is a goal of yours.
2. Notice when you start to feel self-pressure. Ask yourself how you can loosen up about this. Or how it can be easier. Or if it is as important as you are thinking it is.
3. Narrow down projects and goals to 1-3 at a time so you can actually finish things.
4. Plan your year, months, weeks and days even if it’s just jotting down a few things in your waiting time. Don’t be too structured with your planning. Allow for life’s flow.
5. When you drift into zoning out, see if you can find actual self-care like a walk, meditation, prayer, drinking water or doing a dance.
6. Cut down on social media time if it is affecting your goals and/or your mood.
7. Don’t have every bit of downtime be attached to a device. Remember when you used to go to the bathroom, stand in line or wait at a stop sign without your phone? Our brains need a rest sometimes to just wander.
8. Not sure what to do next? Haven’t listened to yourself in awhile? Try creating a check-in jar.
9. Take a 1-5 breath pause between finishing something and starting something new, to appreciate what was done and get focused on the next thing.
10. Work with kindred spirits or accountability partners to get stuff done.

Wishing you a year of freedom, renewal and meaning!

Do you have those things that just never seem to get done? Things you procrastinate on like organizing a closet, making a difficult phone call or a business report? Get It Done Day is for tackling that energy draining to do list. I haven’t done one of these in a few years, but it seems a lot of people are getting overwhelmed and their motivation is spent. Working together can be a fun way of completing those things.

Date: Monday, January 12, 2019

Time: 9:00amET-4:00pm ET at the top of each hour (ie 9am, 10am)

At the top of each hour we will say what we hope to do. At a quarter after we zoom to get it done. Then at the top of the next hour we say what we have accomplished and get some pats on the back.

i.e. 10:00 “What are you working on? I plan to get through as many emails as I can. ”
10:15 Focused working on the emails.
11:00 “I cleared 800 emails and unsubscribed to a bunch of lists.” Great job, you worked hard!” Chit, chat. Maybe drink a glass of water. “Next 45 minutes I plan to clean out my fridge.”
11:15 Focused working on fridge.

You don’t have to do the entire 8 hours, just come and go when you can throughout the day.

A list might help. What has been niggling you? What have you been procrastinating on?

On Get It Done Day, I plan to take care of the following things that have been bugging me

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It’s only $9 to have a Coach and others motivate you to get things done for 8 hours. Invite your friends for even more encouragement. Can you imagine how good you will feel tying up loose ends before the end of the year?

Join Get it Done Day

A quick note to let you know the 2019 Declutter Calendar is done. If you are on the Weekly Simplicity list it was emailed already. If you aren’t on the list you can get it here.