In order to create lives we want to have, we have to take responsibility, ownership of the choices we make.

It’s easy to get tossed about saying yes to too many things. To take more than your share of responsibility for other people’s choices and then claim you don’t have time for your own. To feel the victim of time, only focusing on where you don’t have as much choice, but refusing to choose where you can.

We make choices for all sorts of reasons – so people will like us, to impress, because it seems easiest.

We also decide not to choose – our attitudes, saying no, making space for what is important to us.

Many people prefer to blame other people or circumstances for their choices. But, you can only move forward when you own your choices. Then you can see you really can change and make better decisions.

If our life is not going how we want and we are not meeting our goals, we need to take ownership of the choices we have been making. Are we choosing what other people want for us instead of what is fulfilling? What is fastest rather than what will bring us towards our goals? What creates the biggest splash instead of what our soul wants?

Do you long to enjoy nature, but never make decisions creating the time? When is the next time you can spend 5 minutes outside?

Are you tired of your job and feeling you can’t do anything about it? Can you make the decision to change your attitude? Or upgrade your skills? Or research a new career?

Do you have a creative dream but feeling overwhelmed with everyone else’s stuff so you never get around to it? Notice where you are taking on other people’s stuff. Set a time in the morning before work or the kids get up. Doodle your idea at lunch.

Dig down into why you are making the decisions you are making so you can inch closer to a more authentic, fulfilled life. One small choice at a time.

Need help digging down? I do coaching and have some coaching programs.

Last day of the desk clean-up. How is your desk? I’d love to see before and after pix if you are willing to share.

Here is the worksheet if you haven’t gotten it yet.

Today is desk drawers, spraying down your desktop, doing the last things, making a self-care basket and finally congratulating yourself and actually looking at your clean desk.

Here is the whole series if you missed a day:

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

Day 4

If you want to do more decluttering, join up with the Declutter Group starting Oct. 1.

How is your desk looking? Did you miss some days? You can start again after Day 5.

And if you have been decluttering your desk, you must be feeling really good about your progress. Things don’t have to be perfect to have progress. Don’t let yourself feel badly if things aren’t done “exactly right.”

Today we are going through project files, cubbies and boxes and bulletin boars/whiteboards.

My Bulletin Board before and after.

Here is the worksheet if you haven’t gotten it yet.

Welcome back! It’s Day 3!

I am feeling motivated to keep my desk cleaner since I know you are all working with me.

Take a look at any progress you made so far.

Today we are filing, shredding, labeling cords and going through notebooks.

Below is the worksheet if you haven’t downloaded it yet.

======> Download the 5-Day Desk-Cleanup Worksheet <===========
When you are all done post in the comments for accountability.

If you want to go deeper into sorting papers, here is a video of my living room paper sort method:

https://youtu.be/iKlLDWLLAKc

September 24 is National Innergize Day. This is a day to relax, reflect and rejuvenate yourself, focusing on your inner well-being.

One way to innergize is to create and use a space for your relaxation. We’ve been talking about decluttering and one reason to declutter is to make room for nurturing spaces. Too much of our homes hold objects from the past or “what if I need this” futures. We need places for your current self to enjoy and be renewed.

How to Create a Cozy Retreat

• Find a Space. What area of your home tends to calm you or you can picture it calming you? It can be a corner, a room, an alcove, part of a guest bedroom, a closet, or even the bathroom.
• Declutter the area. Don’t know where to begin? Start at the doorway then keep going left as you declutter. Remove anything that doesn’t say relaxation to you. You want to keep objects that bring you peace. A more minimal room opens up space to create your cozy haven and allows your mind to relax more.
• Color. Do you have soothing colors here? Perhaps a peaceful blue, green, grey or lavender? What color for you signals that it is time to let go? You don’t have to re-paint if you don’t want to, but bring in some decorations, furniture or comforts in that color.
• Furniture. Creating a peaceful and nourishing environment to relax is important in relieving stress. Incorporate comfortable and supportive furnishings to help you unwind. Have a chair that is easy to read in for your favorite reading position. Perhaps a nice ottoman or foot stool. Do you have room for a couch? You might need storage solutions. Think about what you need to make this space support you.
• Natural, relaxing lighting. The blue light of most LED or fluorescent bulbs can agitate your system. So, try a full spectrum light bulb here. Sometimes you can enjoy sitting in candlelight, maybe with warm tea, so have candles nearby. Also, if you will be reading in the evening you can use Red Night Glasses to block out blue light and make it easier to transition to sleep.
• Decorations. Do you have any memorabilia, pictures or photos that make you feel good you would like to display? Perhaps a salt lamp has the ambient light you want. Include just a few soothing, happy decorations. You don’t want to re-clutter here.
• Music and white noise. Music settles the soul quicker than most things. So make sure you have a way to listen – a CD player, an iPod/iPhone speaker system, a vintage record player. How do you like to listen to music? You can also have soothing sounds from a white noise or nature sound machine/alarm system. I use Homedics White Noise Portable Sound Machine. There are many phone apps that have meditative music or nature sounds so you can take your restful place with you. You can create a relaxation playlist for when you are in your retreat place.
• Aromatherapy. Your sense of smell is primal and can have a powerful effect on how you feel about a space. Some of the most relaxing essential oil scents are chamomile, clary sage, lavender, rose and ylang ylang. You can use these scents in a variety of ways. I use a this portable diffuser. You can also use a carrier oil like jojoba oil and a few drops to massage into the skin. Before I got my diffuser I would put some drops of oil on cotton balls nearby. If your relax space is in the bathroom you can put 5 drops or so in your bath. You can use a spritzer to combine water and about 10 drops of oil. Keep a basket of your essential oil supplies in your area.
• Touch. We’ve talked about what we see, hear and smell in a relaxing space. How about what you touch? A cozy blanket. Warm slippers. Massage lotion to rub your feet. A Back Buddy or other massage tool. A foot bath. A yoga mat. Bring at least one thing into your space that nurtures your sense of touch.
• Nature. I adore walks in nature for reconnecting to the soul so I try to bring the natural world back into any relaxation space. It can be a window with bird feeders outside. Or a shelf of stones and shells. Flowers from the farmer’s market. Green plants. Pinecones from walks. Driftwood from the beach. Where can you add nature?
• Books. What are some of your favorite childhood books? Perhaps there are books with relaxation tips you own. Do you have a yoga book or a spiritual book that feels like coming home? Include a shelf of books, hide them in a pretty bag or have a couple stacked somewhere or in between fantastic bookends.
• Spiritual. Find space for whatever spiritual practice you have or want to have. Maybe a meditation cushion, prayer journal, mala beads, or a gratitude list.
• Creative. Some people like to relax with art. Do you have a table you can set up for coloring, watercolor painting, drawing, scrapbooking, etc.? You can have a box or storage unit with a few supplies. This isn’t necessarily a craft room which can be an overwhelming place. It’s a spot to dabble in your art if that calls to you.

You don’t need to use all these suggestions. You will want to include what nurtures you in your space. It will also depend on how big an area you have. You don’t want an overwhelming, cluttered space.

What one thing can you do today to create a cozy retreat place for you? Then schedule time to enjoy your haven.

Welcome to Day 2 of the Desk Cleanup!

How is your desk looking today? A little better? I want you to acknowledge any improvement to motivate you for today. You are in charge of your space, so let’s get to it.

Today we are going to declutter and organize those desk supplies, go through CDS and computer programs and get all your papers into an in-box to sort.

Below is the step-by step worksheet if you haven’t downloaded it yet.

======> Download the 5-Day Desk-Cleanup Worksheet <===========

When you are all done post in the comments here for accountability.

Together we can do this!

I’m excited to see you back here tomorrow.

Welcome to Day 1 of the 5-Day Desk Clean Up…are you ready?

I know desks are a big pain to keep clean. Yes, that is a before picture of my desk a couple years ago. But, it still gets that way sometimes.

First, I want to say that you don’t have to have a clean and organized desk. If you work best in mess, than that is fine. Or you can clean up during this challenge, but not push yourself to perfectionism. I will never have a minimalist desk because I find them boring. I like inspirational cork boards, salt lamps and a bunch of different colored pens.

The only reason to declutter and organize your desk, is if it is hindering your work. If you can’t find things, the space is making you feel heavy and claustrophobic, or papers are getting lost it may be time to take care of it.

Here’s a fun playlist for while you work.
www.youtube.com/watch…

======> Download the 5-Day Office-Cleanup Worksheet <===========

Today we will be working on trash and books.

When you are all done post here for accountability!

I can’t wait to see your decluttered desks in 5 days! You are fantastic!

One way to simplify your life, is to not assume life needs to cater to your preferences.

We don’t like to think we do this, but how many times have you complained that the food isn’t to your liking, the temperature is too hot or too cold, you don’t like the music, that video is stupid, a TV show is awful, the app doesn’t work how you want it to, the phone isn’t completely intuitive to your needs, or the weather is terrible.

The thing is, your preferences are not everyone’s preferences. Some people like that food, temperature, music, video, TV show, app, phone or the weather. Not everything is made for everybody.

So instead of complaining, writing a bad review or sending on a really stupid video so everyone else can see how stupid it is, acknowledge that this isn’t for you. Delete the comment, find a different video or restaurant, put on headphones to listen to music you like or open your mind about what you might be able to like about that music.

Don’t waste your time being negative about stuff that isn’t your preference.  The world doesn’t need more negativity right now and it leeches your energy and the energy of those around you.

Instead of another gripefest, share stuff you love, compliment, look for reasons to like something rather than dislike something. Ask, “How is this great?” See potential.

Move on when you don’t like it.  How freeing would that be?

I see this a lot with clients. They are doing new habits, working on projects or doing the organizing. Then one day, boom, they are too tired to do anything. They complain about some sort of drama in their life or problem that is bringing them down. All their energy has been torpedoed into that difficulty. They are thinking about it non-stop.

But, it’s usually not the problem that is destroying the energy. It’s the ruminating about the issue but not sitting down to feel it. All that angst in the mind protects them from actually feeling the feelings.

The emotions are just under the surface draining away energy. Tightness stops the flow of breath. Whole days can be wasted in this “almost feeling” state.

If you allow yourself to feel those feelings though, you’ll find it doesn’t take that long to process. You can meditate on the feelings, draw, dance, journal, or talk with someone you allow them to move through the body. This frees up your energy again. (Read this post on stopping an emotional spiral.)

The feelings themselves flow pretty quickly, but it’s the story about what happened that keeps you stuck. Stay in the body and heart and out of the head when you are feeling the feelings. Your mind will keep you in, “Woe is me.”

Once you feel the feelings you will be better able to manage the problem. Then you will have more energy to make the changes you want to make.

I am a voracious reader and have been reading magazines since I was a child with my Nat Geo for kids.

So when I found out I could get free magazines on my Kindle because I am an Amazon Prime member, I was giddy. No paper! No clutter! Tons of information (see my Information Reduction Plan).

I started reading magazines on cooking, health, women’s interest, fashion crafts and anything else that was out. I had canceled most of my paper magazines as I didn’t want the clutter. Currently I just have Reader’s Digest that my Grandma gets me and my husband & I enjoy.

I would read magazines at night before bed or in downtime. Then I started noticing how they were making me feel. I was feeling not good enough about my weight, my home, my cooking.

Each magazine included tons of projects that I didn’t have time to complete and that made me feel badly as well. I wasn’t going to make that recipe, do that 30-day fitness challenge or make that paper craft. But, I felt I should. It’s interesting. I may even want to do it. But, I have lots of other things I want to do that weren’t dictated to me by a magazine.

There was the time I was using the pick out a magazine to read and all the reading time for things I don’t intend to do.

Plus, with all the advertisements I was enticed to buy things I didn’t need like expensive face cream or the latest home gadget.

I decided no more magazines besides Reader’s Digest.

I want to read things that are helpful and deep. I don’t need someone living on one of the coasts telling me what should be important to me.

I feel freer already.