My stove stared at me crusted and greasy. I’d been meaning to clean it for a week. It’s a black and stainless steel stove so it looks grimy quickly.

But, I didn’t want to do the scrubbing it would take to get it clean. So I left it. And left it. And left it.

While making my morning smoothie the next day I had to wipe up peach juice the got everywhere. (I am such a messy cook.)

Then I thought, “What if I put on damp rags on a stove section and leave it until I was done with my smoothie?”

It took a few seconds to set up and then I drank my smoothie. By the time I was done drinking, that section of the stove was easy to wipe up. Bingo. I did it for the four sections of the stove over four days, breaking down my procrastinated task into bits that weren’t so hard.

What has you been procrastinating on that needs broken down into smaller steps? Is there anything you can use that breakfast time to clean?

If you can’t make a certain decision, it might be time to check in with possible perfectionism.

Even decisions like what flooring, what refrigerator, or what days to plan the vacation can take months or even years.

What if the decision is wrong? What if you don’t like it? What if you are exposed as a nincompoop who makes bad decisions?

It’s perfectionism shouting, “Hi!”

Most decisions aren’t permanent. Even things like jobs – if you picked the wrong one, there are other ones. Even if it’s difficult, changing decisions is usually possible in the future. Most people don’t make the right decision every time. The thing is, you don’t know if a decision is right until you make it. You don’t get feedback until you choose.

Think of decisions more like experiments. “Will this job work with my personality, goals and skills?” “Will I enjoy living with the purple wall?” “What happens if I decide to take a vacation in two months?”

You choose and then you are closer to knowing yourself and your values.

If you don’t allow yourself to make any choosing mistakes because of perfectionism, it is going to be so hard to make any decisions. Even decisions that should be simple – like what to wear in the morning. Or what to have for breakfast. Those little decisions get fueled with worry about getting it wrong.

Get curious about your choice. Get excited that you have the opportunity to make choices many people would love to have. Release the need to get it perfect.

What decision are you holding back on making? What experiment are you willing to do?

***

Pix by Dita Margarita

I saw an older gentleman with a long, flowing, grey beard running as I walked along the beach. Joy was on his face reaching his eyes, unlike most of the runners who looked cranky and like they were about to pass out. Usually they just grunt as we pass each other. But, this man smiled and even said, “Good morning,” first.

As I sat by the lake later I saw him again, this time in a kayak paddling by.  He still looked like he was having the best time. His strong arms moving the boat much faster than I could.

I was thinking I would love to be that person’s friend.

Too often we grudgingly do something that we “should”. Forcing ourselves to do a boot camp we hate or create elaborate, healthy meals on a weeknight or sit through a meditation we don’t like.

What if you changed some of your “shoulds?” Maybe you would rather dance, walk or bike than run. You can have a selection of simple, healthy meals for the weeknights. Or maybe you would prefer another spiritual practice like Lectio Divina or writing down your gratitudes to meditation.

There are lots of shoulds in our lives. Are there any shoulds you can make more enjoyable or more “you”? What mindset might need changing so you can bring joy into what you are doing?

**
Photo of Lake Michigan I took on a different day

I worked Sunday after church so my daughter and I could go to the beach, Monday. She rarely has weekends off so I usually see her during the week.

I got the beach bag ready. On Saturday we had bought yellow squash, green beans and corn at the Farmer’s Market for lunch. I was really looking forward to beach day.

Late Sunday night she called and said she couldn’t go to the beach after all.

I spent a few minutes disappointed – then asked my usual question when things don’t go as planned.

"What’s good about this?"

Since I did work on the weekend, Monday would be a perfect day to get outstanding items done from my to do list. Those things I want to do, but are a lower priority so I haven’t completed them yet. Things like clean up my website sidebar, mop the floor and make some calls.

I also asked, "How can I get part of what I want?"

I decided to get up early and walk along the beach at Lake Michigan. Afterwards, I sat on a bench to write and have quiet time. I wrote this in a notebook while watching boats and seagulls.

In July, my husband and I went to Drummond Island in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. I wanted to figure out whether he wanted to go alone so he could do more bouncing around in the Jeep than I would like or if he wanted company.

So I told him I would be fine either way. I thought of the good in both situations. If my husband left without me, I would stay home, do a little retreat and lots of reading. If we went together, we would have a connecting time in nature. Once he saw I was o.k. either way, he finally admitted he wanted me to come with as it’s a long Jeep ride alone. We had a wonderful time.

Each time my husband switched shifts, I would ask what is good about this shift. (And there were a lot of shift changes for many years.)

Next time your plans fall through or change, try asking, "What’s good about this?"

***

Pix by Jeff Dargis, Drummond Island

I’ve been watching some of the Olympics and am currently enjoying the swimmers and gymnastics right now. Such drive and hard work! They are focused and lean into the support of the team, coaches and family.

This week I’ve noticed the inspiration I’ve gained from seeing these athletes at the top of their game. I’ve heard myself say, “I can walk an extra time around the pond.” Or, “Let me see if I can hold this plank an extra 5 seconds.” I went out walking yesterday morning even though I really didn’t feel like it.

As I walked I was thinking that if watching these games can give me more motivation, maybe I need to pay more attention to what I am watching and reading.

What we input into our minds does affect how we do things. A crime TV show may make us more anxious or tired. We all know what watching a bunch of news does to us. A cute cat video may make us feel happier (may I suggest this one.) Too much social media has us comparing our lives to others’ “airbrushed for consumption” lives. Social media can make use feel restless or we may feel its addictive qualities and have to keep checking it. Or we can use it to build relationships and scroll past the stuff that makes us outraged.

We can pretend that what media we consume doesn’t make a difference, but for most of us it does. (Especially for us sensitive souls.) Media is also individualized, affecting each of us differently.

So this week notice how you feel when you are interacting with certain shows, songs, or social media. Are their any changes you want to make?

My husband and I got up early to get a motorcycle ride in before the heat. The country was lush with plants almost ready for harvest. I smiled at the horses, cows, goats and chickens. The bright red barns against the blue sky were gorgeous. Then there were the gray barns. The paint had fallen off years ago. Some no longer had roofs or the sides were caved in. Boards were missing or broken.

I was thinking that was unlikely to happen to us because as soon as the first board started bowing or a nail got loose my husband would have fixed it immediately. He is one of those people that if he sees something he fixes it right away. Things last a long time in this household.

Most of us (me included, but I’m getting better), see something and put it on our mental to do list. Maybe, eventually onto a written to do list. By the time we get to it, it is a much bigger project.

We wait till we have 20 pounds to lose (guilty!) or the laundry doesn’t fit into the hamper. Instead of taking care of a little rust, we wait until the whole floor pan is rusted through. We procrastinate on decluttering until it’s overwhelming.

It’s rare that by waiting, we make any project smaller. What is one task, project or fix-it item you can do this week before it becomes a huge deal?

***

Need help with motivation? Try the Pleasant Projects Class or my Get Things Done Procrastination eCourse.

Photo by Carly Wycoff

For those with kids going back to school, it’s time for the Back to School Checklist.

Pix by jdog90

I like getting everything out before I start my morning grooming routine. Today as I was pulling each bottle out of the medicine cabinet I was wishing I could pull everything out at once. Light bulb moment – I can!

So I took everything out and put it in a skinny, blue container I had holding stuff my daughter had left behind when she moved out. I put the products in according to how I use them. It fit perfectly in the bottom shelf of the medicine cabinet.

I am always looking for ways to streamline the morning routine.

• Keep quiet time books/journals in a tote bag so I can go anywhere in the house or outside for that morning centering time
• All my exercise equipment and yoga mats are together. In the area is also an accordion folder with torn out exercise routines from magazines based on type (ie upper body, yoga, pilates, cardio)
• My morning smoothie equipment and ingredients are together and the frozen fruits are in a top tray in the freezer.
• My clothes are laid out the night before – including jewelry. You can see how I pick my clothes out quickly in this video.
• I have a routine where I can check off what’s next instead of trying to use my morning foggy brain to decide. (see this video.)

Looking at your mornings, what is one change you can implement that will make it easier? 

I have friends, clients and acquaintances moving through new changes – moving, empty nest, new job, chronic illness. Our lives our filled with transitions, but we don’t normally pace ourselves through them. We want to be settled again right away, so we hurry up –  settling for where we land.

The uncertainty can be scary. Not knowing where we are in this new phase of our lives can be difficult. Most of us also don’t want to feel the emotions that always come up during transitions.

The last child leaves home. Instead of feeling the pain, sorry and hope, a mom quickly looks to fill the space with volunteering, a new pet or working longer hours. Does she really want to do these things? Who knows? But, at least she isn’t feeling anything.

What if you felt the feelings of transition? Letting them flow through you. Healing rather than locked up in the body.

Then listened to your soul. What would you hear? Perhaps a walk on the beach. Or calling a friend you haven’t seen in awhile. Maybe it’s time to write that book you had in you. Or maybe your soul is calling you to rest.

When you slow down during change you can find out what you want and what is best for your family. You become a deliberate creator in your next step. You can add and subtract things from that deep place of knowing. A place that feels more like you than grabbing things to keep busy and looking settled. You can come up with a new edition of your life slowly, with patience, feeling and intention.

Society may tell us we need to have everything figured out immediately. But, it’s kinder to move slower through the process. Listening, trying something, listening again.

Make your transitions times of the soul. Seeking what is next. Bless you on your journey.

****

Pix from Sean and Lauren

So many people seem exhausted lately. Their leisure time is not renewing them. Often lack of presence causes that feeling of dullness. Too often recreation is the background music to our thoughts.

In order to really be reinvigorated we need to be there – seeing, hearing, smelling, feeling.

If I am in nature but I don’t see or hear because I am too busy in my own thoughts, nature can’t nurture. Crafting is relaxing in the feel of the fabric, the colors, the rhythm of the needles. When you don’t notice, you don’t get the relaxation. Reading renews when you are immersed in a book, not when you have to read the same page 5 times because you drift off.

I was reminded of this at a writer’s retreat I was on recently. We were to take an hour in nature for writing inspiration. Instead of looking around I was deep in thought – in my head again. To my left I heard what sounded like hammering. I saw a little grey and black woodpecker with a tuft of red on its head.

The bird continued to disturb the peace, but made me smile. I was out of my head and back in the world of seeing the beauty. A tiny toad almost hopped on my toe. Another huge toad was completely still for minutes. A white butterfly joined us. I smelled the wildflowers and heard the birds.

The woodpecker flew right in front of me to a tree on the right. Finally it noticed me and flew off. I stood up to leave as well to continue my walk. This time with eyes open.

***

We talk about soft time and focus in my Change Your Relationship to Time class.