I’ve shared my delightful evening routine before. I thought you might want to hear about the habits of the morning.

It’s rare that it is exactly the same each morning. I want to feel centered, connected and peaceful from my morning routine so I keep the feeling in my mind.

A) Brush teeth, water pik, lotion, lemon water after I feed the cat

B) Movement to help wake me up – yoga, dance, walk, weights, pilates

C) Read from one or two of my daily books

D) Decide on a theme/intention for the day

E) Meditate and/or journal on the intention or find a meditation based on the theme in my Insight Meditation app

F) Prayer and Gratitude

G) Sometimes I will do exercises from a course I’m taking or book I’m reading or watch something inspirational. Or do some emotional processing through writing, dancing, art.

H) Drink my smoothie – Right now I am going through Food Network’s 50 smoothies I wash last night’s snack dishes and my husband’s breakfast while it’s blending.

I always to A and B first and H last. But, in the middle things move around. They don’t all get done every day, except prayer. I will check in with myself to see what’s feeling most needed to reach calm and centered and do that first.

I used to do more housecleaning in the morning, but now I do most after dinner. My routine was much different when the kids were at home. Yours will be different depending on what life spot you are in right now.

How do you want your mornings to feel? What one thing can you do or not do to make you feel that way?

Would you like some guidance in creating and keeping routines? Please join the Habits and Rhythms class.

You don’t need a big block of time to start simplifying creating a fulfilling life. You certainly don’t need to change everything at once. Below are changes you can do each week.

Tiny Change #1 : Go to bed ½ hour earlier and wake up ½ earlier than usual

Tiny Change #2 : Go to your favorite bookstore to pick out a journal and start writing

Tiny Change #3 : Read at least 15 minutes a day

Tiny Change #4 :Organize your junk drawer

Tiny Change #5 :Have a daily quiet time

Tiny Change #6 :Start an exercise program for 15 min. a day

Tiny Change #7 :Get together with a friend at least once a month

Tiny Change #8: Start a Debt Reduction Plan

Tiny Change #9: Write out an evening routine that will prepare you for the next day

Tiny Change #10: Have a weekly family night to play games, eat together, or do something fun as a family

Tiny Change #11: Take the last few minutes of the work day to straighten up and plan for the day ahead

Tiny Change #12: Do a random act of kindness

Tiny Change #13: Keep water at your desk with you to get your 8 glasses a day

Tiny Change #14:Write or input birthdays on a calendar, so you can let others know you care for them

Tiny Change #15: Visualize the day you want to have while taking your morning shower

Tiny Change #16: Remember to laugh: rent a comedy, get silly with friends, or read a funny book

Tiny Change #17: Write out a morning routine that includes personal time, household duties and family

Tiny Change #18: Surprise your significant other with a fun date. Plan regular together times.

Tiny Change #19: Do your most important priority at your peak energy time

Tiny Change #20: Enjoy nature- take a hike, sit on the beach, dance in the rain

Tiny Change #21: Whenever you feel yourself getting tense, slow down and breathe

Tiny Change #22: Make a plan to regularly call your parents, grandparents, siblings or others you consider family

Tiny Change #23: Subscribe to a magazine related to your work and schedule time to read it

Tiny Change #24: Forget the mistakes of yesterday, today is too important to miss

Tiny Change #26: Practice really listening to someone

Tiny Change #27: Take two minute breaks during your work day to breathe, walk, look out the window

Tiny Change #28: Sincerely compliment others

Tiny Change #29: Get 7-8 hours of sleep a night

Tiny Change #30: Resign from one committee, volunteer post, or duty you don’t really like

Tiny Change #31: Take time for your hobbies at least a few times a month

Tiny Change #32: Play a little every evening

Tiny Change #33: Set up a filing system for your mail: to do, finance, other family members, or to file

Tiny Change #34: Pack a lunch instead of eating fast food

Tiny Change #35: Memorize scripture, an inspirational quote, or a poem to give you a lift during the day

Tiny Change #36: Set up all your appointments for the doctor, dentist, hairstylist, etc. when you are at your appointment

Tiny Change #37: Plan to leave 10 minutes early for all your appointments

Tiny Change #38: Take a big vacation once a year, and mini weekend vacations throughout the year-even if you are just staying
home

Tiny Change #39: Go through your clothes and give away what you don’t need, want or fit into

Tiny Change #40: Make sure your work chair and desk are ergonomically correct

Tiny Change #41: Quit lying and making excuses to yourself

Tiny Change # 42: Stretch daily

Tiny Change # 43: When someone asks you how you are doing say, “Fantastic”, not “Really busy.”

Tiny Change # 44: Focus attention on a special person, really connect with them

Tiny Change # 45: Ask someone for help

Tiny Change # 46: Nurture a child

Tiny Change # 47: Make a list of 100 things you are thankful for

Tiny Change # 48: Write a letter of appreciation to your significant other or a friend

Tiny Change # 49: Do one thing you have been procrastinating on

Tiny Change # 50: Take time each evening to let go and to forgive

Tiny Change # 51: Use music to energize you or relax you

Tiny Change # 52: Focus on one project to complete this week

I take a daily quiet time to center and prepare my heart & mind for the day ahead.

I like to do inspirational reading in the morning and if I have a couple minute break time during the day. I have my daily books  on my Kindle Fire. These are books with 365 essays/meditations. (I remember when I would have to drag my daily books to wherever I did quiet time for the day.)

I have the books categorized on my Kindle under the collection “Daily” so I don’t have to search for them every day.

I don’t read every book, every day but read from whatever book(s) I am drawn to that day. Ones I didn’t get to in the morning, I may peek at while waiting for water to boil or during a work break.

I used to feel so guilty when I got off track (which was every week). Now I let myself relax about it. With daily books I’ve read before I tend to read from today’s date even if I missed yesterday’s. On new daily books I keep going in order even if it takes 2 years instead of 1.

Here are my daily books:

• Archaeological Study Bible
• The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday – Stoic meditations for serenity, self-knowledge, and resilience
• A Year Without Fear by Tama Kiev – A great help for the “I don’t wannas”
• 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie – Meditations for connecting with God, self and others
• Power Thoughts by Louise L Hay – Fun, bright, quick affirmations
• Romancing the Ordinary by Sarah Ban Breathnach – A reminder of the beauty and romance in daily life

What are your daily books?

To get you ready for the lovely day, here is a checklist for every day. To keep it simple you don’t need to do it every day. You can pick only the ones that sound like something you want to do.

Feb. 1 Write a love note to your honey, detailing what you love about him or her.

Make your bedroom romantic by getting things out of the room that have nothing to do with getting dressed, loving or sleeping.

Feb. 2 Light candles around the house for candlemas day.

Decide if you want to spend valentine’s day with friends, significant other or family.

Feb. 3 Rent a sappy movie for your self to get in the mood or shop for some sexy outfit for valentine’s day with or without friends.

Try your hand at a love poem.

Put on a Valentine Screen Saver

Feb. 4 Do three nice things for your significant other today.

Plan where to spend valentine’s and make reservations or start picking up the house.

Feb. 5 Have a nice long talk with your honey, even if it is only on the phone.

If you are having dinner at home, decide on the menu. If not, think of a fun way to get to your destination.

Feb. 6 Find some romantic music to play at home or in the car for the big day. Start listening to it now.

If you have snow, freeze some snowballs for some fun this summer.

Feb. 7 Compliment your love at least three times today.

Get your haircut and/or a Makeover.

Feb. 8 Get some extra exercise in today; try some yoga moves.

Give yourself a facial- steam your face, wash, exfoliate, put on a mask, rinse off, then apply moisturizer.

Feb. 9 Set out candles and massage oil for an early romantic time.

Order flowers.

Feb. 10 Do a random act of kindness for your sweetie and don’t get found out.

Buy a present and make a card.

Feb. 11 Reread some old love letters and go through some pictures of the two of you.

Figure out or confirm any details of what you are going to be doing for Valentine’s Day.

Feb. 12 Make fudge.

Give yourself or go out for a manicure and pedicure.

Feb. 13 Pick up a movie, flowers, or anything else you need for tommorow.

Take a nice, long bath. Defuzz, exfoliate your skin, and slather on some heavenly smelling lotion.

Feb. 14 Make sure house is clean in morning, including fresh sheets.

Send a virtual valentine.

Enjoy your day!

Photo by: Katerha

I’ve been on a journey to surrender more, at the same time I think we all have more choices than we think. I don’t want to feel helpless. That’s the balance isn’t it? I was meditating on this idea today.

Surrendering to what is, the reality, is so important. To not resist what is happening with thoughts like, “I wish it was [different].” “If only…” “They should be [this way].” Complaining is a big clue that we are not surrendering.

We usually resist when our expectation of how something should be or how someone should behave is not met. These are often based on beliefs we didn’t realize we had.

Energy is sucked away in the resistance. “It’s not fair!” “I hate this!” “Why, me?”

We change our energy, when we accept what is happening. We surrender to the flow. We allow people to be who they are. We have compassion for what is.

At the same time that we surrender to what is going on we can also notice what choices we have at the moment. We can choose our attitude. We can choose to act from our values and love even if we don’t like what is happening. We can choose what we think might improve the current situation instead of wishing it away.

That is where the power is – the present moment. If you spend your time resisting, you drain your power to change what you can.

We can surrender without floating into helplessness. There is the freedom of choice in every situation. We can act from that choice or we can ride the wave of worry & negativity.

We aren’t in control of the flow of life as much as we’d like to. But, we are in control of our choices.

Where do you feel stress, tension, worry or what are complaining about? What are you resisting? How can you surrender?

Now what is the next choice you can make?

I used to be a terrible procrastinator and felt lethargically lazy.

But, I turned it around. Now I regularly get tasks that I used to procrastinate on done.

What was the biggest thing that turned me from procrastinator to being able to get things completed?

My speech and how I saw myself.

I noticed before doing many of the things I didn’t want to do, I would say things like, “This is going to be soooo hard (insert teenage whine)”, “This is going to take sooo long!” and “I hate doing this.” I’d pile on with how lazy and unorganized I was so of course I couldn’t do it. I’d tell myself all the reasons I should do it later.

By the time I was done, I had no energy left to do the work.

It was no wonder I couldn’t get the tasks done on time.

If all that whining made me lose energy then I needed to let it go. It sounds like it’s no big deal. Does it really matter if I complain about doing stuff? But, it affected me immensely.

So I quit.

Whenever I found myself using words like hard, no time, and lazy I’d stop myself. Now this took time since this was a many years ingrained pattern.

Then I upped it and added positive phrases like, “I can handle this.” “It will feel so great to have this done.” “I enjoy caring for my family with this task.” I started feeling more like a person that completed things.

Soon instead of whining and arguing with myself, I just did the tasks. Feeling lighter and happier in the process.

January 15th. It’s the halfway point of the month and probably your resolutions. How are they going? For many people they have already fallen away.

If that is you, ask yourself, “Is this something I really wanted or was it something I thought I should do?”

“Should” goals do not last long because you don’t have the drive or motivation.

You are allowed a do-over for your goals. This time pick something you really want.

And if your goal was something you really wanted, re-connect with that why. Why did you feel the need to create this goal or resolution?

Release your doubts and remember your drive.

I’ve been in this business about 15 years now and every year in January I see the same thing. People get excited about change (decluttering, losing weight, cleaning up finances). You go full in, spending hours trying to take care of things using that New Year energy.

Then, you lose that motivation. It’s not exciting or you see another project that looks like it may be more fun. Usually the first parts of a project is easier and then you get to the hard part like decluttering sentimental items or the craft room.

Suddenly even though you had hours to devote to it before, you have no time. No energy. You skip one day. Then two. Soon, it’s not even on the radar anymore.

Now you are berating yourself about having no will-power and self-control. You tell yourself, “I knew it would never happen. I never stick to things.”

It’s great to use that New Year energy. It’s fantastic! But, it doesn’t last. It’s not that you can’t stick to things, it’s that you were relying on something that doesn’t last and isn’t sustainable.

You need to put structures and support in place when you have that energy, so you can continue down the line. Otherwise your Project Change doesn’t continue.

Prepare for the Hard

You need think about what happens when you hit the hard part. What if feelings of sadness or regret arise? What about the days when you have absolutely no motivation – what will you do?

What will you say to yourself when you enter the hard area?

Set Up Systems

Setting up systems allows you to just do it instead of deciding each time. You have a routine. You have your next actions written out. You have an actual plan.

You put out exercise clothes the night before or put fruit in a bowl on the table.

Every other Friday you pay bills and look at your finances. You set up an automatic savings plan.

Get Accountability

We want to go it alone. We think we should be able to handle it ourselves. But, for the majority of people it works at least twice as well when you check in with other people.

I know I didn’t stick with decluttering until I started checking in with a group online.

Work with One or Two Changes

Most people don’t have the energy required to make many changes at the same time yet people operate that way all the time. How about this year, you work on one or two goals at once until the systems become habitual?

Once a change becomes a habit, it takes up less space in your brain so you can focus on something else. Allow yourself to reach the habit stage before running onto another change. This is hard and is where change often breaks down. You don’t give yourself that time to create a habit, because you give up after the first few mistakes or skips.

Don’t follow that next shiny object until you set that foundation.

***

If you want to set up a system for your decluttering and get major accountability, we’d love to have you join us in the next Declutter Group. You can make changes that stick.

A new year. A fresh start. Optimism at the possibilities. Fear of knowing the self-sabotage of the past.

As we check-in with ourselves and notice changes we want to make, it’s helpful to be clear of what’s in your control.

How much of your time and energy do you spend worrying and ruminating on things not in your control – other’s actions, what people may think about you, past events, or other’s drama.

All this takes time and energy away from things in your control like your actions, your thoughts, your attitude and what you consume.

We tend to think we have some sort of control when we are complaining and worrying. It’s comfortable. We get the sense we are doing something. We post on Facebook about what horrible thing this political leader did. Or gossip about a co-worker. Or we toss and turn in the middle of the night about what are adult children may or may not be doing.

Things we do control we spend less time on, after all, they are harder. It’s easier to whine about things not in our control than it is to do the actual work of changing.

Say you want to declutter – you can complain about not getting help or that you have too small of a house. It’s easier to list off all the reasons you can’t declutter. Taking action will require you to make a plan, implement the plan and then if you don’t implement the plan – figure out why.

It’s in your control to set a time aside to declutter. It’s in your control to decide to use the declutter calendar or a different plan. It’s in your control when that reminder pops up that you declutter. It’s in your control to inquire of yourself if it didn’t happen.

But, that can be scary because in the past asking yourself why you didn’t declutter meant a lot of berating yourself over lack of willpower or how unorganized and scattered you are. Instead, how would it feel to ask yourself why you didn’t declutter in a self-compassionate way. You are curious and looking for feedback. You are trying to find out what is helpful and beating yourself up isn’t. You are digging down to get the truth, not your surface excuses.

Then you make a new plan for the next day that deals with this truth. Maybe you get support, maybe you read a how-to, or maybe you allow your feelings to be expressed.

You control whether you try something else or give up when things aren’t perfect.

You also control how much you take on at one time. Especially at the new year we want instant transformation. We want all our changes done at once. But, we know that is not how life works. We don’t have the time or energy for that.

Questions for Change

So what will your 1-4 projects be for now?

How can you make your life slightly better that is in your control?

What do you need to surrender and let go of so you have more time and energy?

***

Photo by Torne

If you don’t want to do any annual planning – it’s ok. You don’t have to go by an arbitrary calendar and what “everyone else” is doing. You don’t have to have a Word of the Year or your Desire Map feelings.

Some people never make resolutions because they know they won’t follow through. They’ve had the sames goals for the past ten years. It can be frustrating and feels like a waste of time.

What’s important in a meaningful life is being off auto-pilot. If you do exactly what you did last year, you’ll get what you got last year. You will change because it’s automatic, but will you go forward or backward?

Instead of a big annual plan, you can continually check in with yourself and want you want to do, have, be and feel. You may have different desires later in the year than now. You might have transitions or life events to adjust to. But, if you keep connecting with your soul you will be guided to what’s next.

Check In

It’s helpful to have systems in place to check in. Monthly, weekly and/or daily intentions. Journal and ask yourself questions. Answering a question a week is just as good as answering a whole packet of questions between Christmas and New Year.

You may find you are focusing more on self-care or letting go or playing with a character trait than of the normal “shoulds” of the New Year.

When you connect to yourself regularly your life is more you. You aren’t charting someone else’s course, you are using your inner compass.

Creating a Check in Jar

Journaling Prompts for Self-Reflection and Self-Discovery

101 Questions to Ask Yourself in Life

119 Journal Prompts

Systems and Rituals

When you hear answers, you need to put in place systems for what you want. Put things you want to improve into your calendar and/or routine. Set reminders. Make the environment easier for you (set out exercise clothes, make and exercise schedule for the month, fruit bowl on the table.) Change one habit at a time. If you are decluttering – have a set time and use the declutter calendar.

Get Support

Join a class, an online support group, a Writer’s group, have an accountability partner. People say when they do one of my classes they get so much more done in a shorter period of time, just because of the accountability. Be on your own side with your self-talk.

Remember Your Growth

Write down your gratitudes, accomplishments, and kind things you have done throughout the year in a notebook or in a jar. Most of us forget by the end of the year and start the next year already feeling behind and unsuccessful.

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If decluttering is a thought, join the Declutter Group.

Photo by Judy