A big part of our jobs as parents is to teach the kids to be able to live on their own. So when you have kids in a zillion after school activities and sports but no time to help at home you may have a kid that can kick a soccer ball, but not know how to do laundry at their college dorm room. Or manage finances. Or know how to take care of things.

One way to counteract that is to have a routine for your child. Even if most of the bigger chores can only be fit into the weekend.

If they have a phone with apps you can get a checklist app. Otherwise a clip board with the routine checklist inside a clear page protector with a dry erase marker works well. I’ve also seen people put the checklists in a picture frame and then use dry erase markers.

Start with the morning. What do they need to do before they go to school or homeschool? Perhaps:

• Wake up with alarm
• Clean clothes on
• Eat breakfast
• Clear spot
• Brush teeth and comb hair
• Pack a lunch
• Make sure you have your backpack, etc.
• Do one chore – ie put a load of laundry in, wash dishes, put dishes away, dust, sweep (2 or 3 on the weekend)

Then after school, what needs to be done and can fit in a schedule for afternoon. Perhaps:

• Hang up backpack
• Put school notes into Mom’s inbox
• Snack
• Pack up for practice
• Do one chore

In the evening when the kid’s get home from their after school activities, what would you like them to do? Some ideas:

• Homework
• One chore
• Family pick up time
• Brush teeth
• Reading time
• Pray

If you aren’t sure what chores are appropriate for your kid’s age, you can check out this page. Your chore list will probably be on a different list so you can portion them out. For more tips on chores you can read my post on chores and kids. I also love this post on a successful bedtime routine.

You don’t want to overload the kids, but at the same time they can feel more in control when they help organize their surroundings. Plus, it’s good for your kids in the future. The bonus for you is you do less nagging because the kids know what to do next.

Tweak your routines as their activities change. Your routines are never set in stone. Instead they define a path to use.

One of my readers sent over her book, A Mindful Christmas: How to Create a Meaningful, Peaceful Holiday by Barbara Kilikevich.

I don’t like holidays that are rushed, frantic and devoid of meaning. We often think we have to do it all and do it perfectly to have a good holiday. But, I think our families would appreciate if we were more present with them and easier to be around at this time of year.

I love this quote in her book, "Christmas waves a magic wand over the world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful." – Norman Vincent Peale

In the book, Barbara gives a series of questions to help you come up with what you most want out of your holiday season. (Probably not debt, headaches and exhaustion.) She even gives a script to help tell others of the changes you are making this year.

She talks about celebrating advent to prolong the Christmas season, so it’s not all packed into that one day. She includes suggestions for creating a meaningful, peaceful advent experience.

She also write about:

• giving meaningfully
• Christmas for children
• simple decorating
• creating a peaceful Christmas day
• using the 12 Days of Christmas/12 Holy nights to renew your spirit
• ideas to awaken the Epiphany

She includes lists for November, December and January to keep the season organized. Plus, Christmas planning worksheets.

If you want more meaning and less stress in your Christmas, you can check out her book.

Being a sport mom requires tons of time at games & practices. Time sitting in the cold, heat or wet. Lots of time in the car. Too much looking forward to the end of the season.

Before each sports season it’s important to decide together how many sports your child will be in. If your child has a bunch of other things like ballet, piano lessons, Spanish class, and volunteering maybe no sports is right for your family.

Too many parents think that having kids in sports will lead to college scholarships. But only 25% of school scholarships are sports related. There are other avenues to the scholarship.

My son was in soccer many years, but I’d love to hear tips from other Sports Moms.

Here are some of my tips:

• Prepare the night before with equipment, chairs, snacks. Keep equipment together. My mother-in-law made a soccer bag for his ball, pads and shoes.
• If younger siblings come, bring something fun for them. My daughter had a coloring book/crayon kit she used to bring.
• Walk around the field to fit in some exercise. Or some fields have parks by the field for the younger ones (and you) to play.
• Bring a book, chat with a friend, knit or give yourself something to do during practices.
• Have someone else help with the driving – spouse, aunt, friend, kid’s friend’s mom.
• Don’t be obsessed with performance. Look for the positives in practices and games.
• Put the sports calendar in your calendar. Things fall through the cracks when you use separate calendars.
• Have a laundry basket in the laundry room just for uniforms.
• Plan quick meals for practice/game days.
• Schedule visits to the doctor months in advance to make sure you can get the medical forms filled out in time.
• Check out what is the proper equipment for the sport this season before you go out and buy.
• Always bring extra clothes, socks and a first aid kit for the car.
• Make sure your kid has everything before you leave. Everyone can do a quick scan.
• Put in your calendar a couple days before you are due to bring treats so you have time to bake or buy.

What are your tips?

In a recent Weekly Simplicity Tips, I mentioned having “places for books, papers, mail, and stationary supplies.” Tracy wants to know where those places are for you.

For me I have a bookshelf in my closet for health and home books. A shelf in my office is for books I am currently reading. The bedroom has a bookshelf for spiritual and relationship books. The bookshelf in my office has creativity and business books. The big bookshelf is upstairs and holds novels, personal development, hobby & reference books.

For papers: when they come in the house they go to the inbox on my desk. After sorting they either go in the action file for papers to do, reference files or shred/recycle/trash.

Mail goes in the inbox.

Stationary supplies go in a box in my office. Cards are sorted by type ie birthday, sympathy, etc. And I have general note cards in there.

Where do you store things like these?

When I worked as a graphic designer at a printing company, I took over two positions. A graphic designer and a receptionist. They said answering phones would be a group thing. But, they only answered the phones when I was away from the desk.

A print shop is quick turn-around times. Sometimes I would be changing a name on a business card. Sometimes I would be creating whole brochures from scratch. I usually had about 10 projects going at once in different stages of development. Each year things got busier and busier.

This is when I started looking at simplifying and systems. I was completely stressed at this job.

What I loved having for my projects was a stepped wire file rack.

I also had a simple sheet of paper with the projects, deadlines, next steps and where I was at with each project. It made organizing my day much easier. I would look at this sheet of paper and organize the projects on the file rack for which I wanted to do first.

I would work on the first one until I had enough time on it or I had moved to a part that I needed something from the client. I’d post where I stopped and the next actions on my sheet before moving on to the next project.

In the middle of projects I would need to answer the phones, talk to a walk in client or get stuff from the fax machine. I would put post it notes on the file so I knew what I was in the middle of doing when interrupted. This made it easier to get right back into the projects.

I still work this way now that I work from home. I post the next step for my project after working on the project and before moving on to the next. This keeps projects moving.

Need some more help with your projects? Join the Pleasant Projects class.

One of my clients is using Dressing Your Truth to pick clothes that match her look and personality and to declutter what doesn’t. Then we were talking about food choices and I mentioned the idea of eating your truth. Eating what you know your body loves and that tastes good.

We can use this concept for many things. In what our home looks like – does it match you and your family’s personalities and needs? If you had a specific idea of what you would bring into your home and what no longer enters that would make buying and decluttering easier.

You can use this for activities. Differentiate activities that are truly "you" and things you are doing out of obligation. Check to see if your activities represent your truth. If you decide you will only leave home 3 evenings a week you will have a built in policy with which to say no. If you decide cooking isn’t your specialty and you will not participate in bake sales, you can do that. If you love to design, or write or speak and that kind of volunteer opportunity comes up, you might say yes to it.

The requirement is that you know yourself. It is also helpful to say, "I need to check my schedule" before saying yes to ANYTHING.

How about exercise? Personality-wise do you like to do things with a group or alone? How about activity level – do you like high energy or a more soothing energy? You can do the kind of movement you liked as a kid. You don’t need to do the "in" exercise if it’s not for you.

Here are some questions to ponder:

1. What kind of home do I want to live in?
2. What needs would I like my home to meet?
3. What do I no longer want in my home?
4. What part of my home always slows down the flow of my daily routine?
5. What does my family do in my home?
6. Is there a spot for each of those?
7. What are my skills that I would like to use in volunteering?
8. How many evenings out a week do I want to have?
9. What activities do I not like to do?
10. What kind of exercise fits me?

My grandparents have taught me a lot about simplicity. Not because they grew up in the depression era – Grandpa’s family had to move from Pennsylvania to Detroit to see if they could get work with cars. They didn’t have lots of money to start with.

But, that’s not why they have taught me about simplicity. They lived in the same house for about 50 years. They rarely updated the look of the house. Not a lot of knickknacks and re-painting. They drove the same type of car all the time because they got a deal from a family friend. They ate out when they had a coupon. Neither spent much money on clothes. They never worried about, "keeping up appearances."

They have specific priorities. They wanted to travel and they have – China, Australia, Alaska, Europe and all over the world. Often they combined their trips with a learning program through Elderhostel because of their love of learning. And many trip in the U.S. were done in their camper.

People are a priority. It seemed someone extra was always invited to Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner. From exchange students to missionaries to far off friends. It took them weeks to drive from Florida to Michigan after the winter season because of all the stops they made along the way to see various friends. Even in their 90’s people drop by their place and Grandma always feeds them.

It used to be with things from their garden. This is their first year without a garden. It was Grandpa’s passion. He made a greenhouse and had lights in the basement to grow the tomato plants from heirloom seeds. The tall fenced in garden took up almost half of their tiny yard.

They simplified what they spent their money and time on, so they would have money and time for what was most important to them. I love that they have been so clear on their priorities.

What are your priorities? What are you doing just to keep up appearances?

Instead of feeling resentful for saying yes when you really wanted to say no, try these phrases:

1. Someone in my time class uses the phrase, “That doesn’t work for me.”

2. I am feeling overwhelmed and can’t put anything else on my plate.

3. I have a policy to never ….

4. I really can’t…. right now, but I can….

5. I’m sorry, I have another commitment.

6. Thanks for thinking of me, but I am not able to.

7. I appreciate the request, but I am not taking on anything else right now.

8. I am honored you thought of me, but I don’t have the time to do a proper job.

9. My heart wouldn’t be in it.

10. Thanks for the invitation, but an early night is a better option for me.

What are your favorite ways to say no?

Learn other strategies in my Change Your Relationship to Time Class

Welcome to this week’s issue of Weekly Simplicity Tips.

The 100 Day Challenge started Sept. 23 but it’s still open and my finance class starts Oct. 7

Time for Art Prize in Grand Rapids. Brea and I went Thursday. Here are a few of the entries:

Pictures by Brea Dargis

1. Put snacks in one basket for easy access for the youngsters.
2. Plan for a way to get at least 3 walks or other types of movement this week.
3. What needs to be planned for this week?
4. Are you saying yes out of joy and service or obligation and wanting people to like you?
5. Practice following through for a day.
6. Turn off the tech for an hour and get outside.
7. Quit trying to force a particular outcome in your situation.

Get into financial integrity

Starts Oct. 7

This class will help you:

• get your finances in order
• start saving
• create a plan to get out of debt
• consolidate, automate and simplify your system
• create a simple spending plan

Each class will bring you closer to financial integrity. And you’ll find you are not alone.

Let me help you simplify your money systems: https://www.mysimplerlife.com/simplify-your-money-systems-class

Welcome to this week’s issue of Weekly Simplicity Tips.

Wanting to get your financial systems in order? The next class starts Oct 7.

And the 100 Day Challenge starts Sept. 23

Here are some pictures of a recent walk:

 I was much shorter than the foliage.

Milkweed floating

Pictures by Brea Dargis

1. What do you need to let go of that is keeping your life stagnant?
2. Release some old information – magazine articles, project papers you no longer need, A papers from elementary school.
3. Do an action without rushing today.
4. If something in your life is feeling icky and out of integrity, what can you do about it?
5. Plan a seasonal delight for this upcoming season.
6. Get rid of 10 things.
7. Before you buy an item, think of how much work time is needed to pay for the it.

Get into financial integrity

Starts Oct. 7

This class will help you:

• get your finances in order
• start saving
• create a plan to get out of debt
• consolidate, automate and simplify your system
• create a simple spending plan

Each class will bring you closer to financial integrity. And you’ll find you are not alone.

Let me help you simplify your money systems: https://www.mysimplerlife.com/simplify-your-money-systems-class