When life is simplified, that doesn’t mean everything is simple. Nor does it mean you never do anything complicated.

Simplicity is a base so you have more time, more space and more energy to do what you were meant to do. It means space for caring for an elderly family member who needs you. It means not doing some projects so you can focus on the one that really lights your fire.  It means having time when life happens and kids get sick or cars break down or the basement floods.

I may have a small closet of clothes, but bookshelves in every room. I may have a cheap cell phone plan and not the latest phone, but I love my Birchbox that comes every month.

Setting limits on what you buy isn’t deprivation. It is making room for what you love. Just as limiting time spent on certain activities isn’t being a spoilsport, but making sure you have the energy for what you need in your life.

Where do you need to set limits?

How is your base of simplicity? What areas can you shore it up?

Welcome to this week’s issue of Weekly Simplicity Tips.

This is what we saw on our nature walk this week (including some tadpoles):

Photos by Brea Dargis

1. Where in your work process can you be more efficient?
2. Be extremely clear and precise in phone messages for less phone tag and leave your phone number twice.
3. Take a look at the amount of alone time you are getting. Does that need tweaking?
4. When you make requests or decline invitations, do so in a loving tone.
5. Breathe in gratitude, exhale gratitude.
6. Remember most fear is a figment of our imagination.
7. All change is small change – the smallest changes can put you on the road to a simpler life.

Simple Self Care Class

Starts June 24th

Are you too busy to take care of yourself?

• Do you feel drained of energy?
• Do you wish you could make time for yourself?
• Do you feel it’s unnecessary to take care of yourself?
• Do you spend most of your time doing things you have to do rather than want to do?
• Are you less joyful than you used to be?
• Are you out of shape and not as healthy as you wish?

I want to get you out of martyr mode with simple ways to take care of yourself without tons of time.

For the first time I am teaching my coaching program and workbook as a class for more support as you make these important changes.

https://www.mysimplerlife.com/simple-self-care-class

Sometimes the kids or the spouse or the boss don’t tell you things until the last minute. They may not mean to. But often they just forget. One of my favorite questions to counter this is:

Is there anything I need to know for… (today, tomorrow, this week, this month, this project)?

When I pick my daughter up from someplace I usually ask if there is anything I need to know for tomorrow, so I know if she has last minute plans that require me to drive or her to bike.

At the beginning of the week, I find out what is on the schedule for the various people in my life so I can plan.

If you have a boss that waits until the last second, ask about projects coming up or what you need to know about the upcoming week. This gets them thinking ahead more often.

You can also use this question on yourself at the beginning of the week so you are thinking ahead.

Let me know how this works for you.

I got an email from someone going a little crazy trying to downsize from a home to an apartment.

“Help”, she said.

Downsizing can be an overwhelming project.

The first thing to do it release the past. Whether the downsize is your choice or not, it’s important to process and let go of the past. And ideas of how you thought things were going to be. Journal, cry, grieve.

Now look to the benefits of downsizing and how this could be a great thing.

– less stuff to take care of
– more time
– less maintenance
– more money
– more freedom

Next, look at your new place. Plan out what you want in what area. Papers/work, relaxing, food prep, music. You clear out stuff that isn’t useful.

See your home as flowing. What impedes the flow of your home? You want to be able to make your daily routine easy without getting annoyed at things in the way.

Places that are important to let go:
– decorative collections. Keep a few, photograph the rest and let go
– clothes – it’s clutter if it doesn’t fit in the closet. So only keep the amount of clothes that fit nicely in the closet (and pack up the out of season clothes to go under the bed)
– books – you can get most books from the library. If you are in an apartment you are going to want to limit books to one bookshelf.
– shoes – only keep the ones you need and use. Special occasion, once in awhile shoes are not used enough for the space they occupy.
– dishes – only keep what you can store in your cabinets, same with kitchen gadgets

You are editing your space so it works well for you and nurtures you.

Tackle small areas at a time and stay in that area until complete. One drawer. One cabinet. One pile.

Questions to ask as you let go.
– have you used it in the past year?
– what are your current needs?
– what do you no longer need at your new place? Like gardening tools or snow shovel.
– is this about my present life or about my past? Limit the past so you have room for your present.

If you have trouble letting go, invite a friend or family member to help. Often we’ll get attached to something and someone else can say, “Why do you want to keep that?” When you try to explain, you realize you don’t need or even want to keep it. You can also email a friend with your progress every day to keep you accountable and motivated.

Wishing you well on your new life and home.

Want some help decluttering? Join the Declutter Group.

Welcome to this week’s issue of Weekly Simplicity Tips.

This issue is a day late because I was celebrating my 21st wedding anniversary. We had some beautiful time outside. And when it got cooler, we went indoors to see Star Trek.

We also saw a Parasailer on Lake Michigan. Spectacular to watch!

Photos by Beth Dargis

Also it’s time for some summer planning (or winter planning in the other hemishere. You can find my summer planning worksheet here.

And my guest post on Seasonal Scavenger Hunts

1. Ask yourself, What’s next?" instead of passively getting stuck in email or facebook.
2. Notice how many fears and worries you have this week & how many did not come true.
3. What can you be grateful about for a difficult circumstance?
4. What is one way you can be kind to yourself this week?
5. What is one way you can be kind to another person this week?
6. What negative story about yourself or someone else can you let go of?
7. Finish a book you have been wanting to for awhile.

Simple Self Care Class

Starts June 24th

Are you too busy to take care of yourself?

• Do you feel drained of energy?
• Do you wish you could make time for yourself?
• Do you feel it’s unnecessary to take care of yourself?
• Do you spend most of your time doing things you have to do rather than want to do?
• Are you less joyful than you used to be?
• Are you out of shape and not as healthy as you wish?

I want to get you out of martyr mode with simple ways to take care of yourself without tons of time.

For the first time I am teaching my coaching program and workbook as a class for more support as you make these important changes.

https://www.mysimplerlife.com/simple-self-care-class

According to a recent study, Smartphone users check their phones every 6.5 minutes. That astounded me.

It means most phone users, not just a few annoying people, are checking their phones as they talk with people, as they eat, as they do most activities.

That means most  aren’t concentrating on something longer than 6.5 minutes before they need to relieve their boredom by checking their phone.

If that is the average, how much are the power users checking their phones?

Should we be concerned if we can’t go through a meal or a conversation plugging back into our technology?

After reading those stats, I am going to be more aware of how much I am checking my phone. How about you?

A reader asked what to do with old family photos. It can be a big project, so make sure you break it down into little steps. Still procrastinating? Break it down into tinier steps.

The first thing is to bring them to family members who might know who they are if they are not labeled.

If you want to create an album, gather the pictures together and decide how you want to organize them. By date? By location? By who is in the photos? By theme? This is probably the longest part, so only do a few minutes at  a time if it overwhelms you. Wear cotton gloves to protect the photos.

Ones that you don’t want for the album you can still put in photo safe boxes (archival quality, acid-free). Not in a shoebox which doesn’t keep them from decay. If you have pictures in those old sticky type albums TLC says to keep them there. Trying to get them out can tear them.

Remember, you don’t need to keep them all. See if family members want some. You can even throw out the bad ones.

Don’t store your albums in damp places like the basement or the garage. Store negatives in a safe. According to the Library of Congress, photos should be stored at 68°F and 30-40% relative humidity

If you scan your pictures (or pay someone to have them scanned) you can create faster albums through places like Shutterfly. You should scan at least a few, in case of fire, to preserve your family history. And you can put them online on a family website, put to DVD as a slide show, put in a digital picture frame. Make sure the scanner is dust free. And scan at least 300dpi.

Other ideas (scan them first):

Turn them into an ornament

Put them under glass on a coffee table or on dresser

Put them in old windows

Put them on pillows

in Mason Jar

Get photos copied on a t-shirt, mug, calendar or mouse pad.

What do you do with your photos?

One working woman wonders how she can get her priorities done on the weekend with family and friends clamoring for her attention.

First, I want her to know how blessed she is with so many people in her life that love her.

But, it’s hard to get things done when you work and have this lovely group of people in your life.

Get things done during the week

One suggestion would be to get one extra thing done a day during the week. If everything waits until the weekend, it’s not going to get done. Most people I work with say they have no energy after work to do anything. That is usually because they are not giving themselves any breaks to de-stress and work out their emotions during the day so by the time they get home they are exhausted.

Many of our jobs are not physical, so it is not normally physical exhaustion but mental and emotional exhaustion. Sitting on the couch actually makes that worse. Getting yourself up to exercise or do physical chores like laundry can move that stress out of your body.

Doing one thing each evening that you usually save for the weekend, gives the weekend more free time. Monday can be mopping. Tuesday dusting. Wednesday vacuuming. Thursday errands. Friday paperwork and bills. Play around with a schedule and see what works for you.

Check with family and friends early

Often with kids and grandkids, they will just pop over or call at the last minute. Or you run into a friend at the grocery store and you make spontaneous plan. Those can be fun. But to be able to plan more for the weekend, you can ask your family or friends earlier in the week to see what plans they have. Say something like, "I may not be available at all times this weekend and I was wondering if or when you plan on visiting."

Make plans with friends for certain times on the weekend so you can plan out when to do your priorities. Or make plans with friends that include your priorities. You can exercise together, get together for brunch after church, run errands together, declutter (one weekend your house, the next hers), do something creative like scrapbooking or photography.

Watch sleeping in

I find when I sleep in on the weekend, I am more groggy. Plus I miss the morning which is when I am most productive. I have an 8am Zumba class on Saturday mornings so I make sure I am up. And church Sunday mornings where I sing in the choir so I can’t slack off. I probably wouldn’t get up early if I hadn’t built in this incentives.

If you are up early you can get things done before many people are even out of bed. Errands especially take less time.

Make a list

Weekends are usually less mapped out than the week. Which can be fine, unless you are frustrated that you haven’t done what you wanted at the end of the weekend.

Friday evening make a list of your priorities in categories. Then star the three or so that you want to get done most. Do those as early in the day and weekend as possible.  Make a note of what has to be done, rather than what would be nice to get done. Then make sure you let yourself feel satisfied and good even if only those three get done. Often it’s not you don’t get much done, it’s the expectation that you should get an impossible amount done. 

If friends or family visit, see if you can include them. Or do some work while they are there. Get the grandkids involved. I know I did quite a bit of raking and gardening at my grandparents.

If possible, get work and chores done on one day so the other day you can spend with social activities, spiritual replenishment and fun.

Plan for fun

Part of the fun, is anticipating. So instead of the same old get-togethers, plan a fun outing to the beach. Or plan a picnic. Or a play out with your husband. What lights you up and gives you energy? Plan at least one of those for the weekend. Then look forward to it during the work week.

But, don’t plan every moment. Have in your mind the top 3 from your list, your fun idea and maybe one or two social events. Then you can flow with what is happening the rest of the time.

Have downtime, but use that time for activities that really renew you. A walk in the woods or a good book is usually more renewing than watching TV or surfing the net. Using less technology on the weekends can give us respite from being always connected.

How about you, readers? Do you have any tips of getting things done on the weekends and still having fun?

I was looking for a baby shower gift and thought this would make a great blog post too. When I had babies there was a lot less stuff needed. I am imagining some things have gotten simpler and easier with new products. But, some are just a waste of money.

So I asked on facebook, and this is what they said:

• A cool nursing blanket. It fits over her head, and it has a wire to hold it open a little – so she can see the baby.
• There are lots of useful non-stuff gifts. Meals are hugely helpful. Or volunteering to vacuum or do laundry
• Onesies
• Receiving blankets
• Bibs
• Baby products.. shampoo (I love the new all natural ones)
• Crib sheets
• Diapers
• Burb cloths
• Boppy pillows
• Swing
• Pack n play
• Bouncy seat
• Baby wrap, like a moby or baby carrier like baby bjorn.
• Books
• Cleaning service
• Gift cards
• Grocery delivery service
• Laundry service
• Baby vapor rub, vapor bath, vapor plug in (and refills) are great to have for when the baby gets sick
• Also a heating pad is great. You put it in the crib right before bed to warm it up. Also put it in during night feelings so that when they are finished they have a warm bed to help go back to sleep.

Here is a great way to package things.

Over to you, what are some of the most helpful baby shower gifts you have seen?

***

Photo by: Shoshanah

A reader asked for tips to simplify a wedding so they can plan quicker to have the wedding before family has to go back overseas.

Since my simple wedding will be 21 years ago June 1, I asked at facebook for some new ideas.

Rhiannon reminds us to prioritize the stuff that lasts like rings and flowers, rather than music and flowers. Meghan says, "all the frou-frou little accessories for a wedding were not going to be the things I remembered later on (and I was correct about that!), so it wasn’t worth putting time into them or even having them; the only ones I gave the green light to were ones people wanted to give me as gifts, or that it meant a great deal to one of our mothers to have."

And she also says delegate, even if it means giving up some control. Others want to help you and tend to take care of the things you ask them to handle. Decorating is a great place to invite help. Branch out thought and don’t rely on the same 2-3 people.

Debbie says to make a note about what is important to you and your soon-to-be spouse. Stick to it and simplify the rest. And have fun! (Plus the more relaxed you are, the more fun all your guests will have.)

"Finally, relax. You’re getting married. That’s the point. No one cares if the the fruit you serve is cut into heart shapes or if they get a little plastic tube of bubbles to blow at you when you leave. You and your loved one will get married that day, and that is what makes the day perfect. Not any of the other details. And of course: less is more." Meghan reminds you.

Food

• Debra says ask family and friends to help out with food. Potluck is a big time savor.
• Buffet style instead getting servers, says LA Lovely Ink.
• If you have it a a B&B, Laura says they might cater for you.
• Instead of flower centerpieces you can have small tiered cakes to eat when it’s time to cut the cake, Brooke suggests.
• Have a simple reception like Diana’s daughter had – cake, punch, nuts, mints, vegetables. They made their own wedding cake out of 6 round cakes.
• Cheryl says a cocktail reception instead of a sit-down dinner
• In fact, depending on the time of day, Sherri says you can have a cake only reception.
• Wedding cupcakes (see above)
• If you have lots of fantastic pie makers in your family and friends circle you can have them each bring a pie in lieu of having wedding cake.

Dress

• Rent a dress
• Get an outfit, rather than a wedding dress
• Diana ordered her daughter’s wedding dress from ebay seller "Quick Gowns" inexpensive and allows returns if in two days
• Get a dress off the rack instead of scouring and fitting, says Faith.

People

• The easiest way to limit the chaos of a wedding is to invite less people. You can have an intimate family wedding, then have a party with friends after family leaves.
• Also use less attendants which will simplify many aspects
• Have a Day of Coordinator – a main person to handle to details.

Photos

• Can a friend take the pictures?
• Or have everyone take pictures with disposable cameras that you can develop

Decorations

• Framed photos of the bride and groom
• Recruit someone getting married to take down the decorations and keep what she wants (love this idea, Diana!)
• You can use silk flowers if you want them to last longer
• The Dollar Tree has inexpensive table centerpieces, says Julie. And Peggy says you can make simple floral or candle centerpieces there.
• Most people don’t need party favors, but Pamela said she loved at a Saturday night wedding when they go bagels, cream cheese and the Sunday paper before they left.
• Also, Lisa’s parents went to a wedding a few years ago where small jars of local honey were given as favors with a cute label they printed. I think it had their names, the date and something like "Meant to Bee".
• Cheryl suggests asking the venue if they have house candleabras/candles instead of buying centerpieces

Location

• Your church
• Courthouse
• Marina
• Regular hall
• Church basement/hall
• B & B
• Find the location ASAP – those book up Faith reminds us
• Restaurant (Maree had a fabulous champagne and seafood lunch and got married there.)

Invitations

• Print your own or use an online invitation service like Evites, suggests Lisa

I love Lynette’s wedding, "For our wedding, we invited family and friends to my soon to be husband’s birthday party, and then had a surprise wedding. We announced the marriage with fortunes in fortune cookies. I wore a colorful dress, he wore a suit. In front of fireplace and 60 guests in a very small house, ferns hanging, garden bouquets, a beautiful cake, guitar player, banquet, Catholic priest, believe it or not. Done. 21Yrs later our first child, still married since 1984. Cheap, but I had just bought a house. Fairly low stress (only in retrospect -) other than getting the house in perfect order. I wouldn’t do it any different today."

And Diana says they saw a wedding where the grandmother’s performed the role of flower girls with great joy and to applause. And instead of tossing bouquet to embarrassed single women, her daughter’s chose to award the bouquet to the couple married the longest.

If you have any more ideas for our bride-to-be, I’d love to see them in the comments.

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Wedding cupcake photo by Clever Cupcakes