Can’t Make A Decision

09.01.2016

If you can’t make a certain decision, it might be time to check in with possible perfectionism.

Even decisions like what flooring, what refrigerator, or what days to plan the vacation can take months or even years.

What if the decision is wrong? What if you don’t like it? What if you are exposed as a nincompoop who makes bad decisions?

It’s perfectionism shouting, “Hi!”

Most decisions aren’t permanent. Even things like jobs – if you picked the wrong one, there are other ones. Even if it’s difficult, changing decisions is usually possible in the future. Most people don’t make the right decision every time. The thing is, you don’t know if a decision is right until you make it. You don’t get feedback until you choose.

Think of decisions more like experiments. “Will this job work with my personality, goals and skills?” “Will I enjoy living with the purple wall?” “What happens if I decide to take a vacation in two months?”

You choose and then you are closer to knowing yourself and your values.

If you don’t allow yourself to make any choosing mistakes because of perfectionism, it is going to be so hard to make any decisions. Even decisions that should be simple – like what to wear in the morning. Or what to have for breakfast. Those little decisions get fueled with worry about getting it wrong.

Get curious about your choice. Get excited that you have the opportunity to make choices many people would love to have. Release the need to get it perfect.

What decision are you holding back on making? What experiment are you willing to do?

 

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Pix by Dita Margarita

 

3 Comments

  • Cindy Urban says:

    It is extremely hard for me to make a decision. My poor husband goes crazy. I am so afraid of making a mistake that I can’t fix. I was a single parent for 11 years and had to make all the decisions. I did make mistakes..it took a long time to work them out. Now, I hesitate with everything.

  • Judy says:

    I used to think I was a horrible decision maker but like your article, realized, that most decisions can be undone or re-done…my hardest choice was which guy to be with…that was a stupid thing to be considering…all my pro and con lists were inadequate…in the end I lost two guys…but then again, maybe it wasn’t meant to be and the stalling, trying, making wrong decisions, etc was the right choice.

    I love your articles!

  • Beth says:

    Yes Judy, sometimes when you don’t make a decision it gets made for us. Glad you are getting better at deciding!

    A good thing to remember, Cindy. That if you don’t make a decision then you aren’t creating your life, you are letting others.

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