I’ve been in this business about 15 years now and every year in January I see the same thing. People get excited about change (decluttering, losing weight, cleaning up finances). You go full in, spending hours trying to take care of things using that New Year energy.

Then, you lose that motivation. It’s not exciting or you see another project that looks like it may be more fun. Usually the first parts of a project is easier and then you get to the hard part like decluttering sentimental items or the craft room.

Suddenly even though you had hours to devote to it before, you have no time. No energy. You skip one day. Then two. Soon, it’s not even on the radar anymore.

Now you are berating yourself about having no will-power and self-control. You tell yourself, “I knew it would never happen. I never stick to things.”

It’s great to use that New Year energy. It’s fantastic! But, it doesn’t last. It’s not that you can’t stick to things, it’s that you were relying on something that doesn’t last and isn’t sustainable.

You need to put structures and support in place when you have that energy, so you can continue down the line. Otherwise your Project Change doesn’t continue.

Prepare for the Hard

You need think about what happens when you hit the hard part. What if feelings of sadness or regret arise? What about the days when you have absolutely no motivation – what will you do?

What will you say to yourself when you enter the hard area?

Set Up Systems

Setting up systems allows you to just do it instead of deciding each time. You have a routine. You have your next actions written out. You have an actual plan.

You put out exercise clothes the night before or put fruit in a bowl on the table.

Every other Friday you pay bills and look at your finances. You set up an automatic savings plan.

Get Accountability

We want to go it alone. We think we should be able to handle it ourselves. But, for the majority of people it works at least twice as well when you check in with other people.

I know I didn’t stick with decluttering until I started checking in with a group online.

Work with One or Two Changes

Most people don’t have the energy required to make many changes at the same time yet people operate that way all the time. How about this year, you work on one or two goals at once until the systems become habitual?

Once a change becomes a habit, it takes up less space in your brain so you can focus on something else. Allow yourself to reach the habit stage before running onto another change. This is hard and is where change often breaks down. You don’t give yourself that time to create a habit, because you give up after the first few mistakes or skips.

Don’t follow that next shiny object until you set that foundation.

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If you want to set up a system for your decluttering and get major accountability, we’d love to have you join us in the next Declutter Group. You can make changes that stick.

A new year. A fresh start. Optimism at the possibilities. Fear of knowing the self-sabotage of the past.

As we check-in with ourselves and notice changes we want to make, it’s helpful to be clear of what’s in your control.

How much of your time and energy do you spend worrying and ruminating on things not in your control – other’s actions, what people may think about you, past events, or other’s drama.

All this takes time and energy away from things in your control like your actions, your thoughts, your attitude and what you consume.

We tend to think we have some sort of control when we are complaining and worrying. It’s comfortable. We get the sense we are doing something. We post on Facebook about what horrible thing this political leader did. Or gossip about a co-worker. Or we toss and turn in the middle of the night about what are adult children may or may not be doing.

Things we do control we spend less time on, after all, they are harder. It’s easier to whine about things not in our control than it is to do the actual work of changing.

Say you want to declutter – you can complain about not getting help or that you have too small of a house. It’s easier to list off all the reasons you can’t declutter. Taking action will require you to make a plan, implement the plan and then if you don’t implement the plan – figure out why.

It’s in your control to set a time aside to declutter. It’s in your control to decide to use the declutter calendar or a different plan. It’s in your control when that reminder pops up that you declutter. It’s in your control to inquire of yourself if it didn’t happen.

But, that can be scary because in the past asking yourself why you didn’t declutter meant a lot of berating yourself over lack of willpower or how unorganized and scattered you are. Instead, how would it feel to ask yourself why you didn’t declutter in a self-compassionate way. You are curious and looking for feedback. You are trying to find out what is helpful and beating yourself up isn’t. You are digging down to get the truth, not your surface excuses.

Then you make a new plan for the next day that deals with this truth. Maybe you get support, maybe you read a how-to, or maybe you allow your feelings to be expressed.

You control whether you try something else or give up when things aren’t perfect.

You also control how much you take on at one time. Especially at the new year we want instant transformation. We want all our changes done at once. But, we know that is not how life works. We don’t have the time or energy for that.

Questions for Change

So what will your 1-4 projects be for now?

How can you make your life slightly better that is in your control?

What do you need to surrender and let go of so you have more time and energy?

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Photo by Torne

I hope you all had wonderful holidays of whatever you celebrated.

And now there may be a mess. It took awhile to set Christmas up, so don’t make yourself do all the clean up in one day. Too often we are in such a hurry to undo it, things get put away carelessly. Then next year you have broken decorations or you can’t find what you need. So this year let’s do it thankfully and slowly.

The first thing is the presents. Everyone wants to get into them right away, so we have a rule in the house – thank you notes must be written before you use or play with your present. Plus if you didn’t clear out before (or even if you have for extra decluttering) we do the one in, one out rule. I got some cozy pajama bottoms from my daughter so let go of the pajama bottoms with the frayed hem. One book in, one book out.

We throw wrapping paper into a bag as we unwrap, but if there are still wrappings laying around, now is the time to take care of them.

Unpack the suitcase. If you went out of town, don’t let the suitcase hang out for the next month. Usually I take care of it that day, but this time I left it out in the living room. So, that is my job for today.

How is the kitchen? Does it need some TLC? Do you need to buy more baking goods or pantry items? Are all the holiday dishes washed? Prepare a meal plan to use up the leftovers. Freeze leftovers and cookies you don’t think you will eat on time.

Next I look at the wrapping paper – do I need any wrapping items? Last year I didn’t have to buy anything, but it looks like this year I need to get wrapping paper, to/from labels and Christmas cards. So, I’ll go out today or tomorrow for the sales then pack it all away.

We add addresses to our Christmas address book from the Christmas card envelopes. I also note anyone new that sent a card to add to the list. Then I put the cards into a file folder. Once a week, I take out a card and either send a letter or a Facebook note to know I am thinking about them throughout the year.

Since we’ve done all the gift purchases, we can donate all the catalogs. You can also let go of the holiday issues of magazines.

We don’t have one, but if you do here’s how to clean up the fireplace after the holidays.

Donate winter coats, kid’s holiday dresses that won’t fit next year, boots. Recycle or give away boxes. Use my declutter calendar for decluttering throughout the year. And this year’s Declutter Group begins January 22, 2018.

Dry clean your holiday clothes so they are ready for next year. Then put them in a little used closet. You can also pack up the holiday jewelry and accessories, decluttering as you go.

We usually wait to put away Christmas decorations until after Epiphany. This year it’s January 6th. As we put decorations away we declutter in the process. Play music to make it fun. Make sure all boxes are labeled for next year and the lights are not tangled. We no longer do a tree, but if your live tree is losing needles it’s time to recycle. We don’t have tons of decorations up, but if you like to do that, you can break up your de-decorated into mini-sessions.

May your January be spacious!

For those not on my newsletter list, the 2018 Declutter Calendar is now ready

https://www.mysimplerlife.com/declutter-calendar

As many of you know my Mom was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer recently. Another friend is fostering two young ones. One is struggling with chronic illness. Another has a foreign student living with them that they are helping with English to get into the local college. There are accidents, little ones underfoot, a heavy work schedule.

How does one organize and simplify when life gets chaotic? You simplify for the life you are living now. Not the ideal life where you have more time, things never go wrong, and you have plenty of energy. There is probably not going to be a three-hour chunk of time for you to re-organize the pantry or weed your whole garden.

The life you are living right now is real life and no cleaning fairy is going to come in and rescue you. So think in smaller chunks and fewer projects. What are the 1-2 most pressing needs in your home? What is causing the most stress or time loss?

Now when this week can you put a 5 minutes here or there for your project? Is it portable like papers or planning you can do during waiting time?

Looking at your list what can you cross off, delegate, put off for another week? It doesn’t all have to get done now and probably wouldn’t even if it’s on your list. But, you will feel more stressed if there is a lot more on your list than you can do in a normal week.

Finally, practice scanning as you go about your day. Are there things from this room that can go into the next room? Is there something in the closet you can declutter as you get dressed? Can you write down what you ate this past week so you have a menu if you don’t have time for menu planning? Can you put more bills on automatic payment? Are you actually finished with the task you are doing or did you get sidetracked?

You can do this a little at a time. 15 minutes a day is 91 hours a year.

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Photo by Emily May

Need help breaking a project down? Join the Pleasant Project class.

I proceeded on this project as I tell you – small steps, sometimes just 15 minutes of writing or editing or formatting. I checked in with my accountability partner. I got support from a writer’s group and took a writing retreat. It took over two years, but it is now done (well the e-book version. Paperback is coming soon.)

What project are you working on that needs some nudging?

Decluttering the easier, less stressful way

What if your decluttering didn’t have to be done in 7 days like the magazines say or completed in a weekend makeover? What if you allowed yourself to do it a little at a time? What if it was easier and less stressful?

http://bit.ly/declutterhabit

I saw this really cute basket at Target today. I didn’t know what I was going to do with it, but the brown wicker made me smile. Then I put it down. I’ve learned that a brief smile from something doesn’t mean I should take it home.

It can be fun discovering a pretty little thing from Target for your home or uncovering something at a garage sale. Finding a great outfit at a sale price gives a charge. But, the thing is – the feeling doesn’t last.

What is left is maintaining what you bought, decluttering when you’ve bought too much and being attached to stuff.

It’s so much easier to live out our dreams when we aren’t tethered to possessions.

Is that initial adrenaline buzz of the buy worth it?

This is the time of year many are planning, decluttering, deciding to lose weight and really be productive. We want schedules to keep us in line. Maybe a new app (I am enjoying Google Keep). We want to make our x’s in a chain of never missing a day of our new habit.

We think if we just stop being lazy we could have all our goals met. But, laziness isn’t the real monster. The real monster is…

Perfectionism

Perfectionism is alive and well now. It will keep you locked in planning rather than doing because if you do, you might not do it perfectly. It searches out the perfect system to control your life. The minute the schedule falls apart – so do you. It makes you go around in circles wondering what the right thing to do next is or where to start.

Start anywhere. Do a shoddy job. See what happens. Use that feedback to do better.

If you miss a day (like in the Declutter Calendar), see how to make it easier and more likely you will follow through the next day. Don’t use it to give up.

If your goal is so big it is overwhelming, break it down. Then break it down again. Then break it down again until there is almost no resistance. The main resistance will be the perfectionism saying you aren’t doing enough. Tell yourself doing something is better than doing nothing.

Let yourself do just enough. How many times have you forced yourself to go over something so it’s perfect that meant very little in the big picture of your life?

Where is perfectionism blocking you? What haven’t you completed because of perfectionism? Where has the pursuit of perfectionism held back your authenticity?

It’s more important to have good character, to begin things and complete things and to be resilient when things don’t happen as we wish than to be perfect (which is impossible anyway).

How can you be kind to yourself this year and be resilient with the challenges that come your way?

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Having a group with you is also a great way to achieve goals. You can see how imperfect we all are but make progress anyway. If you are wanting to declutter this year, you can join the Declutter Group.

After doing a decluttering group for about 7 years now I have found that almost everyone wants to declutter. But, people rarely make progress. Mainly for these reasons:

• They are overwhelmed by the huge project
• They keep telling themselves they can’t do it
• Excuses like no time or energy
• Doing do much then crashing when you have chronic pain
• Wanting to hold on to things, memories, eras
• Not wanting to deal with emotions that come up with stuff
• Not knowing where to start

Which of these are your main obstacles?

What can you do about your obstacle?

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Need specific help with your obstacle, join the declutter group
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We were talking about information/articles torn out/things printed off the internet in the Declutter Group Monday.

It’s helpful to think about where you go for information when you are ready for it. If you were to plan a party, would you go to your party planning binder or file folder, would you do an internet search or would you go to the library for a book?

If you are creating a garden, or going on a health plan or planning a vacation where do you go for information?

That is the kind of information you keep. That is where you store your information.

I rarely go to any torn out magazine article anymore. I would search the web or my Evernote online notebook. So I keep almost no magazine articles or things printed.

If you automatically go to your binders, then why are you keeping a bunch of folders on your computer?

If you get most of your info from books – make sure those are organized and don’t worry about keeping the paper information glut.

Information is only helpful if you can find it when you need it.

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Photo by Evelyn Giggles