“Outer order contributes to inner calm.”

—Gretchen Rubin on her blog

Are you ready for that? Can you breathe in that feeling of order and calm? With so many things happening outside our sphere of influence, creating that calm in your own realm is vitally important.

Declutter Group Starts Monday

I want to help you find that relaxed centering in your home. A place that nurtures you and all who enter.

When you edit your home and life, what is left matters to you, is beautiful or helpful. What does a decluttered home mean for you?

I only hold Declutter Groups twice a year usually, so this is the last Declutter Group of the year. Can you imagine going into the holiday season with extra room and more time? I will “hold your hand” to help you declutter and a friendly group of accepting new friends will be there encouraging and supporting you throughout the 6 weeks. You discover you are not alone – and that may be the best feeling of all!

Click here for everything you need to know…and don’t delay letting procrastination get the better of you again.

I am looking forward to another great group (and I am sure welcoming back some former participants working on another declutter project.)

Have Questions? Check out the FAQ. You can also email me at beth [at] mysimplerlife.com if your question isn’t answered there.

I read this phrase somewhere – stop fixing yourself and start creating yourself. This resonated with me and I at once thought this can also be related to your home. Stop thinking about organizing, decluttering, hating your home, or cleaning. Instead think of it as creating and crafting a nurturing home.

You can declutter and organize as a way to get closer to your ideal space, not as a task on the to do list. This mind set change gives you a hint of motivation. Resistance eases away. Imagine that phrase before doing housework. “I am creating a nurturing home.”

How can you create your home? How can you craft your vision?

Show up daily to do this. Even if it’s 5 minutes. Re-set your expectations about how you can live and what all the home care means.

If you are creating a home, maybe you put those papers away and put flowers on your table instead. Maybe you streamline your bathroom so it’s easier to get out in the morning. Or perhaps you turn off devices by 9pm.

How can your home be nurturing?

What can you do next?

If you aren’t sure, what’s next or where to start, we’d love to have you in the Declutter Group to help you with that overwhelm and help you create your vision.

I was deep cleaning my room over the weekend when I came across old notebooks that had goals written in from 10 years ago. I was surprised that most of them were accomplished.

At the time when I was tracking them I rarely made my deadlines. I would get mad at myself for taking so long.

I am sure you have the same thing with your goals. Maybe you had your SMART goals set up with your timeline and action steps for decluttering, or a home project or getting your finances in order.

Often other priorities get in the way, or we lose interest and start a new goal or project.

But, I found if you steadily keep at a project, it gets done. Even if you don’t hit all the deadlines. Even if you have to go back to the project over and over again. Often we find goals take longer than we think if we are trying to fit them into regular life. We overestimate what we can do in a day.

Yet over the course of months or years we can get there.

What goal do you have that you could chip away at this week? Wouldn’t it be great to look back on your goals a few years from now knowing you did them even if it wasn’t as fast as you thought they should happen?

(If Decluttering has been one of those goals, you can get some planning, support and accountability with the Declutter Group starting Oct 5th.)

I am finishing up the declutter group and a comment came up that always comes up – “I feel so guilty for having spent money on that item so now I don’t want to declutter it.” Similar, “That object was so expensive, I feel guilty getting rid of it.”

The truth is at the time you bought something, you thought you needed it or at least wanted it. Going forward you are going to be clearer on your purchases and notice if something is a want or a need.

We think if we keep something that should be decluttered, we are confirming we made a good choice before. And you may have. But, at this point in time it has become clutter. Is it worth your space, your time or your bad feelings every time you see the possession to keep it?

Money doesn’t flow back into your pocket if you keep it. If you get rid of it, at least you have a tax deduction.

This is where self-compassion comes in again. If you are feeling guilty about spending money on something you no longer need, be gentle with yourself. Say, “You thought you needed it, but now you don’t and that is ok.” “You are noticing your pattern of buying things you don’t need. In the future I will…” “Stuff and money do not tell me my worth. I am worth more than holding onto clutter.”

Telling your guilt to a friend can also relieve some shame. And maybe they have a good place to bring it.

Don’t let guilt keep you cluttered.

I had a miserable, sick weekend and I had to stop my 30 Day of Yoga Challenge. (Creating the link, I noticed she calls it a journey. While I called it a challenge.)

So many challenges – 30 days of squats, 90 day whole foods challenge, 21 day meditation challenge and so on. That’s because challenges can work for certain people.

I love to try them out, but rarely make it to the end. But, this 30 days of yoga was going to be different. I had already made it to Day 24. Until I had stomach issues that yoga was not helping. I don’t need to bend and twist when my stomach is already knotted up.

Ahh! I felt frustrated for the days I did push through to do my yoga even when I didn’t want to. All the previous work was worth nothing because now I had failed the challenge. I had the, “See I never finish anything” self-talk. I wanted to quit even though I loved the yoga.

Time to re-frame. I was in charge, not a random challenge. It is something I want to do, not something outside myself making me do it. I can still continue even if I miss a day. I can do my yoga challenge two extra days. No big deal.

We don’t need perfectionism to smash our goals with our old stories of not finishing and never getting it right. We no longer need to be our patterns.

This goes for the Declutter Calendar, as well. I created it to simplify deciding what’s next in decluttering. Not as some strict piece of paper you have to adhere to or you are a bad person.

You don’t need to quit if you missed a day. Circle that day so you can complete when you a declutter day, you don’t have to do. (Yea, I don’t have anything above my stove, time to go back to Day 19.) Or do it next time it comes up on the calendar.

If you came in after January 1, start with today’s date and don’t try to catch up. Each day you do the calendar is progress. If you let perfectionism tell you to give up because you missed a day, remind your ego that the goal is a decluttered house – not a perfect checked off calendar.

Where is perfectionism suggesting you stop when you see a setback?

If you get my Weekly Simplicity Tips, you should have seen the 2020 Declutter Calendar. (If not, check your spam folder or promotions folder, then move my email to the inbox.)

If you aren’t on my list, you can get the calendar here: 2020 Declutter Calendar

Also, I have created a free Facebook group where we can declutter and simplify together. Go here and request to join if you’d like.

And finally, registration for the January 20th Declutter Group is now open if that is one of your 2020 goals.

I was at a family dinner one weekend. Some of my relatives were having a hard time figuring out what I do.

“People pay you to help them finish their project?” “Don’t you just say Just Do It?”

I come from a family of people that, “Just do it.”

I am not one of them. I explained that not everyone can just do it. Some people are like me, and we need to get into good mindsets and set up systems so it’s easier to do.

A lot of us have more limited energy, so we need to focus. And sometimes support in that.

Some of us procrastinated and never finish anything without accountability. I always have an accountability partner and enjoy being other people’s accountability.

I had to learn skills because I am more of an imaginative flake then a self-motivated doer.

I figured others might want to learn these skills with gentle encouragement.

People say they get so much more done in one of my classes or in coaching because of the accountability, new skills and the self-compassion I teach.

So to all of you that can’t, “Just Do It,” you are not alone. We are just wired differently.

***

If you need some encouragement and support with decluttering, my most popular class, the Declutter Group starts soon.

We all want more. As soon as we hit a goal, we want the next goal. We want the latest tech. I’m enticed by new books or magazines when my Kindle is full. Or a new course before I finished the last one.

New gives us that dopamine hit which we like. That new shirt, new decor, new gadget. It doesn’t have to be new – only new to us

We all want more. As soon as we hit a goal, we want the next goal. We want the latest tech. I’m enticed by new books or magazines when my Kindle is full. Or a new course before I finished the last one.

New gives us that dopamine hit which we like. That new shirt, new decor, new gadget. It doesn’t have to be new – only new to us. I know people that spend every weekend on the hunt at garage sales or antique shops.

What if we got that burst of happiness, by making our lives into art. Using what we have, but re-arranging it. Slowing down to set a beautiful table and turn on music. Puttering. Taking care of our garden.

The problem is everything we bring into the house, needs to be maintained. We need to clean it, organize it, use it. If not, you end up with clutter. Mementos get strewn around in the basement and decay. Books stay on shelves unread and dusty. We can’t find a place for the latest thing we had to have so it’s stuck in a corner for now.

It’s hard to live a life of beauty and presence when we are surrounded by stuff. If we can’t maintain what we have, bringing more will not make our lives better.

The details create your life. A clean space for a vase of flowers. Journaling by the fire in the morning. A beautiful pen and thankful heart as we pay bills.

In a rush of more, we have less time to write a note to a family member. We recently had a funeral for a woman who was like a Grandma to me. Her relatives talked about getting letters from her and her request for “good mail.” It’s the little everyday things that matter and are remembered.

But, the struggle to work more, for more money, to buy more stuff, which takes time to take care of, leaves us with less time and room to make art out of our lives. If we pare down what we own and what we do, we have time not only to maintain, but to beautify. To enhance. To make our mark.

I love to polish my piano which used to be my Great-Grandma’s. It’s the only thing of hers I have besides pictures. It’s enough.

It’s hard to set a lovely table if it has a bunch of papers on it. The fridge can get so full, that food spoils. Too much makeup and getting ready in the morning becomes less enjoyable.

Take a moment to look over your life. How well are you maintaining what you have? Are your possessions getting regular care? How about your relationships? Are your books getting read and courses learned? Do you have the time to create beautiful or restful moments?

I know some times of life are more hectic than others, but if you noticed that this has become a habit how can you do and buy less? Can you think about where something will fit in your life before you buy? Can you finish that book, course or craft project before buying more? (You can keep a wish list to keep track of what you want, so you don’t have to buy at once. Who knows, after you think about it maybe you won’t want it anymore.)

Society will always lure us with why we need more. But, we know we can create our own beautiful life, by curating what’s important, having less and gracefully taking care of the moments of our lives.

***

Photo by Oshin Khandelwal on Unsplash

If you didn’t know, I often post today’s declutter action step from the Declutter Calendar on the My Simpler Life Facebook Page. This past week I posted, “Declutter china you don’t use”.

This was actually quite controversial. Some people said you should use it instead. I love that idea of using your beautiful things. Someone else said she wouldn’t use it as it’s not her style.

One person said they were unfollowing? In jest, I’m not sure.

Quite a few people said they feel they should, but can’t bring themselves to do it. I think china often falls under sentimental items. You can deal with it the way you would other items like that. Decide how much of your home you want to use to store or display the past, and curate what you keep. Almost everyone has sentimental items. If you want to keep your china – go for it.

I love when you are able to display or at least store carefully the sentimental items. Too often they end up gathering dust, getting broken or not easily found. So if you keep your china or other sentimental items decide what you will do with them.

I always consider the Declutter Calendar as a guide. If you don’t know what to declutter today, look at the calendar and get a nudge. You never, ever have to declutter what’s on that day or anything else. We can’t know what’s important or useful for another person.

Your home is your home and you get to choose what is part of it.

Before

When my Mom passed away, I inherited her card collection. She was considered a card lady – never missed a birthday, congratulations, condolence or get well soon.

I have been sending more cards since her death as a reminder of her caring.

But, the rolling cart that stored cards was quite cluttered and messy. So, when “rolling cart” came up in the Declutter Calendar I decided it was a great time to handle it.

I got rid of a box of unmatched envelopes, a couple old notebooks, and some miscellaneous clutter that didn’t belong there to begin with.

After

P.S. Lent is March 6th if you are interested in my Simplifying for Lent $1.99 guide.