Many of us feel under constant pressure. Stressed, busy, and overwhelmed. Almost everyone we meet is, as well. We read about it on social media. Text our friends about it.

Some of us have major difficulties – financial, health, loss.

But, many of us have made small, normal setbacks and deadlines into huge, stressful things. When we think of to do lists, it’s always too much. We don’t think we have time. Plus we are sure we aren’t enough. We feel the tightness in our chest and feel queasy in the stomach.

Much of this stress is self-imposed by our expectations and what we tell ourselves.

When you look at your to do list are you seeing all the actions you gratefully get to do because you have a job, or health or family? Or are you filled with dread because you are telling yourself it all has to get done today and done perfectly.

One thing when we look at our to do list is to notice not everything has to be done today. Maybe we’d feel better about ourselves if we got it all done (hello, ego). But, pushing it out another day or two may not do anything terrible.

Most of the tasks on your to do list aren’t things that don’t impact your life or the business you are in. (If you have a bunch of those on your list, maybe ask why.) So instead of looking at tasks on your list, think about the bigger picture, the goals, the values, the gratitudes these mean.

I get to talk to my Declutter Group because I have my own business and work from home and get to help others. I am calling the doctor because I have a prescription that works for me. Plus I value health. I need to do my monthly financials because I made an income and I received some great services I paid for. I also want to live in financial integrity.

What if instead of saying, “I’m busy,” when asked how you are, you say, “I am happily productive.” Or, “I am pursuing my goals.” What would feel freer to you to say instead?

Think of yourself as having a richly layered life instead of one full of pressure and busyness. We can look at our full lives with joy or see them as burdens.

Most things are not a 10 on the ‘need to worry about this’ list. But, because of constant self-pressure we start seeing every little thing as a 10. That’s when life starts to feel super hard.

How stressed do you get when life doesn’t flow smoothly? There is traffic? Something breaks? Stuff that happens to everyone in a normal life. Do you get testy often with your family? Do you say, “I just can’t handle one more thing.”

We need to break out of that. Give ourselves and others grace when mistakes are made. Ask for deadline extensions. Meditate before or after work to remind you that your thoughts aren’t necessarily correct. Ask if your stressful thoughts are helpful or could you think about something another way. Walk in nature. Breathe. Give yourself extra space and extra time. Move slower. Do a less than perfect job purposefully on something that doesn’t matter that much.

Be the one person you know that isn’t crazy busy. Or at least think of yourself as less busy and more blessed.

I used to be the biggest procrastinator. I had great intentions, but not much follow-through. I never wanted to do it. My to do list created a struggle. But, working from home I need to get myself to do my work.

Here are some ideas on what worked to get me unstuck so I could get stuff done.

Get Clear on What You Want to Do

Most of us feel we have too much to do to spend time planning. Not to mention, people (ok, me) can get carried away with the planning and not do much. Fancy planners or bullet journals. Intricate to-do systems. Detailed project plans that fall apart as soon as the project changes.

But, if you don’t do any planning, it’s hard to know what to do and what has higher priority.

Spend a five minutes thinking and jotting what you need to do down in a notebook. Then pick the next three items to work on.

If you are still scattered, organize your desk or workspace for some space around you and in your head.

Feel How It Will Feel When Done

We tend to think about all the work and reasons why we don’t want to do something when the energy is at the end. How will you feel when you have accomplished it? Got it off your plate? Made progress?

If you are coming up with some major resistance, don’t run away to Instagram – figure out the feelings. Are you afraid of something? Are you putting a lot of self-pressure on yourself? Are you not feeling confident?

When you figure out the resistance you can work with it. Reminding yourself they are thoughts, not truth. Making the task easier. Creating a reward. Upping the self-talk. Watching a quick motivation video.

Start the Day with Projects

It’s easy to get right into email or social media in the morning. But, for me, I have the most energy in the morning. I want to make progress on the harder, more meaningful projects within the first work hour.

Willpower wanes throughout the day making it harder to push yourself to get things done. Maybe schedule meetings, routine tasks and communications during the afternoon.

Don’t forget to break those projects down into 15-30 minute segments so you don’t have a mammoth task on your to do list. What are the next two actions of your projects? Can you plan one early tomorrow?

Random

Some days your to do list is full of bits and pieces. Smaller tasks. But, they are so numerous. How do you choose?

Get random. Either making a numbered list and using https://www.random.org/ to choose your next thing. Or write them on pieces of paper and pick a task out of a jar.

If you can get moving on something – anything – you will feel less overwhelmed.

On the weekend sometimes I will do 3 tasks per line – 1 work, 1 home and 1 personal so I know I am somewhat balanced.

Breaks and Focus

For me it’s helpful if I know I don’t have to do something forever. I like the tomato-timer where I can work 25 minutes then have a 5-minute break. I don’t let myself play on Facebook, check email or get lost online until break time. Most of us have limits to our focus.

Focus on the task and notice when your mind wanders so you can bring it back. We get work done faster if we focus on now and not what you may need to do in the future or a past drama. You may want to set a timer for shorter than 25 minutes if you are having trouble staying on task. When it dings you can check to see if you were on task.

Sometimes I’ll get in the flow and go over my 25 minutes. But, the timer was good to get me started. Other days 25 min seems like a long time. If I know I have a break coming up I am less likely to get distracted.

During breaks I also like to dance a bit, take some deep breaths or do some stretching to get the blood moving again – hopefully to the brain.

Get Accountability

When I was a stay-at-home mom I did almost daily challenges with online friends to keep up with the house. Now I have a weekly accountability session with Marcia for both business and house goals.

I do accountability with some of my clients, either as an email accountability partner or in our coaching sessions. I also host every-once-in-awhile Get it Done Days reminiscent of my old challenge days. (The next one is July 8th.) No one likes to admit they get more done with a group or accountability. But human nature being what it is, most of us get much more done.

Notice When You Did It

Too often we move from one task to another on the little hamster wheel. No wonder we seem to think we are always behind. Pause, notice what was completed, and give yourself a little pat on the back (or get it from someone else if you are doing a challenge). Then you can move on. Sometimes taking 3-6 breaths between tasks can help you pause.

What is your trick for getting stuff done when you don’t want to? Any of the above ideas you are willing to try?

One of my frustrations each morning was cleaning my yogurt container after making my morning smoothie. I make my own yogurt, so I have glass jars I can’t throw out.

The container always has yogurt/milk in the rings where the top screws on.

Then the other night I thought, “What if I slowed down a fraction more when I am ladeling the yogurt mix into the yogurt maker? Fewer drips. Less mess to clean up every morning.

The added time was probably less than 20 seconds total. The little bit of slowing down saved time and frustration in the morning.

Can you think of a place where slowing down a bit might give you more time and less frustration?

It’s easy to feel overwhelmed and that we are already behind when we start a new year. We place more expectations on ourselves to buckle down and get it all done. Here are some tips to make it easier:

1. Ask yourself if you are doing something out of obligation, as a should or if it really is a goal of yours.
2. Notice when you start to feel self-pressure. Ask yourself how you can loosen up about this. Or how it can be easier. Or if it is as important as you are thinking it is.
3. Narrow down projects and goals to 1-3 at a time so you can actually finish things.
4. Plan your year, months, weeks and days even if it’s just jotting down a few things in your waiting time. Don’t be too structured with your planning. Allow for life’s flow.
5. When you drift into zoning out, see if you can find actual self-care like a walk, meditation, prayer, drinking water or doing a dance.
6. Cut down on social media time if it is affecting your goals and/or your mood.
7. Don’t have every bit of downtime be attached to a device. Remember when you used to go to the bathroom, stand in line or wait at a stop sign without your phone? Our brains need a rest sometimes to just wander.
8. Not sure what to do next? Haven’t listened to yourself in awhile? Try creating a check-in jar.
9. Take a 1-5 breath pause between finishing something and starting something new, to appreciate what was done and get focused on the next thing.
10. Work with kindred spirits or accountability partners to get stuff done.

Wishing you a year of freedom, renewal and meaning!

Do you have those things that just never seem to get done? Things you procrastinate on like organizing a closet, making a difficult phone call or a business report? Get It Done Day is for tackling that energy draining to do list. I haven’t done one of these in a few years, but it seems a lot of people are getting overwhelmed and their motivation is spent. Working together can be a fun way of completing those things.

Date: Monday, January 12, 2019

Time: 9:00amET-4:00pm ET at the top of each hour (ie 9am, 10am)

At the top of each hour we will say what we hope to do. At a quarter after we zoom to get it done. Then at the top of the next hour we say what we have accomplished and get some pats on the back.

i.e. 10:00 “What are you working on? I plan to get through as many emails as I can. ”
10:15 Focused working on the emails.
11:00 “I cleared 800 emails and unsubscribed to a bunch of lists.” Great job, you worked hard!” Chit, chat. Maybe drink a glass of water. “Next 45 minutes I plan to clean out my fridge.”
11:15 Focused working on fridge.

You don’t have to do the entire 8 hours, just come and go when you can throughout the day.

A list might help. What has been niggling you? What have you been procrastinating on?

On Get It Done Day, I plan to take care of the following things that have been bugging me

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2.

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5.

6.

7.

It’s only $9 to have a Coach and others motivate you to get things done for 8 hours. Invite your friends for even more encouragement. Can you imagine how good you will feel tying up loose ends before the end of the year?

Join Get it Done Day

Some personalities are more inclined to flake out. I am one of those who has to create systems as prevention.

It seems more and more prevalent to make excuses. “I’m not feeling up to it.” “I know there was a deadline, but, I’ll get it done as soon as possible. I got overwhelmed.” “I know I’m late again. Traffic was ridiculous.” “I’m sorry I was supposed to help at the bake sale. I totally forgot.”

We are told we need to cut everyone slack. And most people do. They may say, “It’s no big deal”, but often resentment is building inside.

We all tend to get annoyed at people that never follow through with plans. But, most of us are in denial about how much we do it.

You may be sabotaging relationships and work opportunities with flaking out.

If you flake out a lot and feel you are disappointing people all the time, you may want to see why.

• Are you saying yes to things you really want to say no, too? Then flaking out at the last minute to get out of it? Don’t say yes, if you are dreading doing it.
• Have you over-committed yourself time-wise so you can’t actually do all the things you said yes to?
• Or made agreements, while forgetting your self-care and energy needs?
• Are you really afraid or anxious and that is why you want to bail?
• Is there something you are hiding from or not admitting?

Keeping your commitments is a basis of trust in any relationship. Once you commit to something, make every effort to follow through.

It also means – make less commitments. If you flake often, you are probably making too many commitments. Be very mindful as you say yes.

How to Quit Flaking Out

• Don’t say yes immediately. Take time. Look at your calendar. Are you overbooked?
• Have rules about how many evenings you’ll be out, which events you never attend, what things you will typically say no to so you have policies to fall back on as you make decisions.
• Set up systems like alarms to remind you to do things. As soon as you say yes, put it in your calendar and ask if there is anything you need to do before it happens like order flowers or pick up the suit from the dry cleaners. If you say you are going to pick up the milk, write it down and have an alarm set so you will do it.
• Confirm plans the day before so it is less likely either one of you will flake.
• Leave at least 10 minutes early for everything.
• Before you make an excuse to someone, check in with yourself. How can you fulfill your obligation? Show others you are considerate of their time and feelings. Not feeling like it, being tired, or overbooking yourself are not great excuses.
• Don’t text or Facebook an excuse. Actually call if you absolutely have to miss. Technology has made it too easy to break commitments.
• When you make an appointment, go to the appointment. Business people are paid for whom they serve. If you don’t show up, they don’t get paid.
• Stay for a little bit rather than not show up at all.

People are counting on you to do what you say you will do. So respect other people’s time and don’t bail on plans or decide at the last minute you can’t do something. We all have distractions and opportunities that make easy excuses. Be the person who shows up and is dependable, not just when it’s convenient.

Want to get better with time and energy? Join the Change Your Relationship to Time class.

Ever notice that some people have super busy schedules but they seem to float and flow in time? They’re rarely stressed. They are enjoying life.

And other people with the same schedules are tight, stressed and feeling overwhelmed?

That’s because schedules and not enough time are not the real reasons people are stressed. We like to think we are stressed because there isn’t enough time. That we think we can fix with better time management, being more organized or having a more efficient planner system and the latest apps.

Yet, much of the stress is because of your current relationship with time. The relationship is broken and uneasy.  Time feels like the enemy. We want to think linearly and productively. When there is energy, focus, emotions, beliefs to dig deep into to find your improved relationship with time.

Where are you with time?

If you are looking to change your relationship to time, check out my class.

I’ve shared my delightful evening routine before. I thought you might want to hear about the habits of the morning.

It’s rare that it is exactly the same each morning. I want to feel centered, connected and peaceful from my morning routine so I keep the feeling in my mind.

A) Brush teeth, water pik, lotion, lemon water after I feed the cat

B) Movement to help wake me up – yoga, dance, walk, weights, pilates

C) Read from one or two of my daily books

D) Decide on a theme/intention for the day

E) Meditate and/or journal on the intention or find a meditation based on the theme in my Insight Meditation app

F) Prayer and Gratitude

G) Sometimes I will do exercises from a course I’m taking or book I’m reading or watch something inspirational. Or do some emotional processing through writing, dancing, art.

H) Drink my smoothie – Right now I am going through Food Network’s 50 smoothies I wash last night’s snack dishes and my husband’s breakfast while it’s blending.

I always to A and B first and H last. But, in the middle things move around. They don’t all get done every day, except prayer. I will check in with myself to see what’s feeling most needed to reach calm and centered and do that first.

I used to do more housecleaning in the morning, but now I do most after dinner. My routine was much different when the kids were at home. Yours will be different depending on what life spot you are in right now.

How do you want your mornings to feel? What one thing can you do or not do to make you feel that way?

Would you like some guidance in creating and keeping routines? Please join the Habits and Rhythms class.

I used to be a terrible procrastinator and felt lethargically lazy.

But, I turned it around. Now I regularly get tasks that I used to procrastinate on done.

What was the biggest thing that turned me from procrastinator to being able to get things completed?

My speech and how I saw myself.

I noticed before doing many of the things I didn’t want to do, I would say things like, “This is going to be soooo hard (insert teenage whine)”, “This is going to take sooo long!” and “I hate doing this.” I’d pile on with how lazy and unorganized I was so of course I couldn’t do it. I’d tell myself all the reasons I should do it later.

By the time I was done, I had no energy left to do the work.

It was no wonder I couldn’t get the tasks done on time.

If all that whining made me lose energy then I needed to let it go. It sounds like it’s no big deal. Does it really matter if I complain about doing stuff? But, it affected me immensely.

So I quit.

Whenever I found myself using words like hard, no time, and lazy I’d stop myself. Now this took time since this was a many years ingrained pattern.

Then I upped it and added positive phrases like, “I can handle this.” “It will feel so great to have this done.” “I enjoy caring for my family with this task.” I started feeling more like a person that completed things.

Soon instead of whining and arguing with myself, I just did the tasks. Feeling lighter and happier in the process.

I have a project I haven’t touched in two weeks. Why? I don’t know. I have forgotten to ask.

One of the main reasons I don’t procrastinate as much as I used to, is that I’ve gotten into the habit of asking why.

We often know we are procrastinating. But, instead of getting to the bottom of it we make excuses like, “Well I’m just a procrastinator” or “I’m just lazy”.

Firmly held beliefs about yourself are usually easier to deal with than, “I don’t want to be judged harshly with the finished result, so I’ll do it last minute knowing it wasn’t my best work.” Or, “I’m scared I don’t know what I am doing.” Or, “I am overwhelmed by the scope of it.”

Instead of telling ourselves the truth we lie to ourselves when we only admit we procrastinate.

Until we get to the why, it’s harder to overcome procrastination.

Next time you realize you are procrastinating, ask yourself why?

Then you can talk back to your fear, ask for help, break down the project into smaller pieces or try making the task more fun.

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You can find other ways to deal with Procrastination in my Procrastination eCourse or join the accountability group starting Nov. 1 and get the Procrastination eCourse included.