We all want more. As soon as we hit a goal, we want the next goal. We want the latest tech. I’m enticed by new books or magazines when my Kindle is full. Or a new course before I finished the last one.

New gives us that dopamine hit which we like. That new shirt, new decor, new gadget. It doesn’t have to be new – only new to us

We all want more. As soon as we hit a goal, we want the next goal. We want the latest tech. I’m enticed by new books or magazines when my Kindle is full. Or a new course before I finished the last one.

New gives us that dopamine hit which we like. That new shirt, new decor, new gadget. It doesn’t have to be new – only new to us. I know people that spend every weekend on the hunt at garage sales or antique shops.

What if we got that burst of happiness, by making our lives into art. Using what we have, but re-arranging it. Slowing down to set a beautiful table and turn on music. Puttering. Taking care of our garden.

The problem is everything we bring into the house, needs to be maintained. We need to clean it, organize it, use it. If not, you end up with clutter. Mementos get strewn around in the basement and decay. Books stay on shelves unread and dusty. We can’t find a place for the latest thing we had to have so it’s stuck in a corner for now.

It’s hard to live a life of beauty and presence when we are surrounded by stuff. If we can’t maintain what we have, bringing more will not make our lives better.

The details create your life. A clean space for a vase of flowers. Journaling by the fire in the morning. A beautiful pen and thankful heart as we pay bills.

In a rush of more, we have less time to write a note to a family member. We recently had a funeral for a woman who was like a Grandma to me. Her relatives talked about getting letters from her and her request for “good mail.” It’s the little everyday things that matter and are remembered.

But, the struggle to work more, for more money, to buy more stuff, which takes time to take care of, leaves us with less time and room to make art out of our lives. If we pare down what we own and what we do, we have time not only to maintain, but to beautify. To enhance. To make our mark.

I love to polish my piano which used to be my Great-Grandma’s. It’s the only thing of hers I have besides pictures. It’s enough.

It’s hard to set a lovely table if it has a bunch of papers on it. The fridge can get so full, that food spoils. Too much makeup and getting ready in the morning becomes less enjoyable.

Take a moment to look over your life. How well are you maintaining what you have? Are your possessions getting regular care? How about your relationships? Are your books getting read and courses learned? Do you have the time to create beautiful or restful moments?

I know some times of life are more hectic than others, but if you noticed that this has become a habit how can you do and buy less? Can you think about where something will fit in your life before you buy? Can you finish that book, course or craft project before buying more? (You can keep a wish list to keep track of what you want, so you don’t have to buy at once. Who knows, after you think about it maybe you won’t want it anymore.)

Society will always lure us with why we need more. But, we know we can create our own beautiful life, by curating what’s important, having less and gracefully taking care of the moments of our lives.

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Photo by Oshin Khandelwal on Unsplash

You don’t need a big block of time to start simplifying creating a fulfilling life. You certainly don’t need to change everything at once. Below are changes you can do each week.

Tiny Change #1 : Go to bed ½ hour earlier and wake up ½ earlier than usual

Tiny Change #2 : Go to your favorite bookstore to pick out a journal and start writing

Tiny Change #3 : Read at least 15 minutes a day

Tiny Change #4 :Organize your junk drawer

Tiny Change #5 :Have a daily quiet time

Tiny Change #6 :Start an exercise program for 15 min. a day

Tiny Change #7 :Get together with a friend at least once a month

Tiny Change #8: Start a Debt Reduction Plan

Tiny Change #9: Write out an evening routine that will prepare you for the next day

Tiny Change #10: Have a weekly family night to play games, eat together, or do something fun as a family

Tiny Change #11: Take the last few minutes of the work day to straighten up and plan for the day ahead

Tiny Change #12: Do a random act of kindness

Tiny Change #13: Keep water at your desk with you to get your 8 glasses a day

Tiny Change #14:Write or input birthdays on a calendar, so you can let others know you care for them

Tiny Change #15: Visualize the day you want to have while taking your morning shower

Tiny Change #16: Remember to laugh: rent a comedy, get silly with friends, or read a funny book

Tiny Change #17: Write out a morning routine that includes personal time, household duties and family

Tiny Change #18: Surprise your significant other with a fun date. Plan regular together times.

Tiny Change #19: Do your most important priority at your peak energy time

Tiny Change #20: Enjoy nature- take a hike, sit on the beach, dance in the rain

Tiny Change #21: Whenever you feel yourself getting tense, slow down and breathe

Tiny Change #22: Make a plan to regularly call your parents, grandparents, siblings or others you consider family

Tiny Change #23: Subscribe to a magazine related to your work and schedule time to read it

Tiny Change #24: Forget the mistakes of yesterday, today is too important to miss

Tiny Change #26: Practice really listening to someone

Tiny Change #27: Take two minute breaks during your work day to breathe, walk, look out the window

Tiny Change #28: Sincerely compliment others

Tiny Change #29: Get 7-8 hours of sleep a night

Tiny Change #30: Resign from one committee, volunteer post, or duty you don’t really like

Tiny Change #31: Take time for your hobbies at least a few times a month

Tiny Change #32: Play a little every evening

Tiny Change #33: Set up a filing system for your mail: to do, finance, other family members, or to file

Tiny Change #34: Pack a lunch instead of eating fast food

Tiny Change #35: Memorize scripture, an inspirational quote, or a poem to give you a lift during the day

Tiny Change #36: Set up all your appointments for the doctor, dentist, hairstylist, etc. when you are at your appointment

Tiny Change #37: Plan to leave 10 minutes early for all your appointments

Tiny Change #38: Take a big vacation once a year, and mini weekend vacations throughout the year-even if you are just staying
home

Tiny Change #39: Go through your clothes and give away what you don’t need, want or fit into

Tiny Change #40: Make sure your work chair and desk are ergonomically correct

Tiny Change #41: Quit lying and making excuses to yourself

Tiny Change # 42: Stretch daily

Tiny Change # 43: When someone asks you how you are doing say, “Fantastic”, not “Really busy.”

Tiny Change # 44: Focus attention on a special person, really connect with them

Tiny Change # 45: Ask someone for help

Tiny Change # 46: Nurture a child

Tiny Change # 47: Make a list of 100 things you are thankful for

Tiny Change # 48: Write a letter of appreciation to your significant other or a friend

Tiny Change # 49: Do one thing you have been procrastinating on

Tiny Change # 50: Take time each evening to let go and to forgive

Tiny Change # 51: Use music to energize you or relax you

Tiny Change # 52: Focus on one project to complete this week

How many times during a day do you say, “Not again, this always happens.”? You can’t find your keys, you are late for work, the water overflowed, or you are out of toothpaste.

If a problem continuously happens, it’s probably time to do something about it, don’t you think? Complaining about the same thing over and over, but not fixing the problem doesn’t help.

Most of the time we put up with problems even though they consistently irritate us. Why? We think we have too much to do. We don’t take the time to stop, think things through and come up with a solution.

1. Name your problem

What problem keeps coming up for you?

2. Look at your current procedure

Are you late because you go to bed late, wake up late, and then do too many things right before leaving?

Do you lose keys because you don’t have a specific place for them or a habit to put them there so you throw them wherever you end up first?

Do you run out of things regularly because you don’t have an errand day or a shopping list put up?

3. Is there any way to tweak your procedure?

Can you research online for how to get your kids to listen better?

Can you create a habit to help you remember nice things about your hubby instead of criticisms?

Can you make a routine to back up your computer every Friday so you don’t lose files?

4. Try out your new procedure for 2 weeks-a month

Put a note in your calendar to review your procedure. What’s working? What isn’t? Is there any more research your need to do? Is there anyone to ask about this problem?

5. Keep tweaking until the problem is solved to your satisfaction

Too many people give up after one try at something, figuring nothing will work and they will have to keep putting up with this problem. Keep at it. Do you know how many different solutions there are to all kinds of problems?

As you go through your week, think about which recurring problems come up. Print out this Problem Solving Plan and play with one of the problems:

Problem Solving Plan

Of course, some problems can be solved without a whole plan. Just noticing the problem can make a difference.

I woke up with the idea that I wanted to create a 33-page workbook for simplifying for lent.

I’ve always loved the season of lent. It’s a more reflective time of year that reminds us to concentrate on living differently. Lent invites us to slow down and to release things that are holding us back from a spiritual, conscious life.

Most of us are living lives with too much speed. We have so many choices, many which pull us away from our center and spirituality.  We get caught up in drama and try to hide emptiness and feelings under over-eating, the internet, TV, or busyness.

Lent is the 40 days before Easter, (excluding Sundays). It is a beautiful time to return to our spiritual life and re-focus our lives.

For 40 days I have ideas, questions and inspiration to live a simpler, more intentional and more reflective life.

We are a society of action. Action is necessary and helpful.

But, so is waiting. Often as soon as we get the uncomfortable feeling of not knowing, we plow ahead in action.

Let’s say a request was made to head up the school bake sale. There is that uncomfortable silence as you need to decide. Not wanting to disappoint you say yes, only to be resentful later. Another option would be to say, “I’ll have to check my schedule and other obligations and I will let you know.” Back at home, you can discern whether this is a good idea for you and your family.

Or how about your last child moves out of the house and you have a little more free time. That feeling of not knowing what to do mixed with some sadness has you running to the first opportunity that pops up whether that is actually where you want to be or not.

Another time to wait is at the store. You get that adrenaline hit from a good deal or something that excites the senses. But, until you think whether you have the money, time to maintain and space to put it you may not want to spring for that unexpected purchase.

Taking action on everything that comes at you whether information, requests, objects, relationships, job stuff has you doing before you get your priorities straight.  You are pulled in all different directions when you choose action before understanding.

We are so scared of that downtime where we might feel things and have to deal with the unknown, that we fill our lives with busyness. No time to rest, process or contemplate.

Where in your life to you need to pause and wait before taking action?

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Pix by Rooslan

One of the big mistakes I see is the idea that if you just get organized, life can run smoothly. But, if you have too much stuff or too many commitments it doesn’t matter how organized you are. You will still feel not enough and stressed.

You can have the most organized basement even though it’s piled high with boxes. All the boxes take time to keep organized. Plus you still have to find what you are looking for among many, many boxes.

You might have the most organized scheduled – things written down for each 15 minutes. But, you can still feel stressed, especially when real life happens and your schedule falls off.

A room full of magazines ordered by magazine title and date, is still a lot of magazines to go through to find what you want.

A full binder or recipes may be organized, but overwhelming when you are trying to decide what to make for dinner.

Your closet may be organized by color and type, but if it’s stuffed it’s still hard to find what to wear.

Simplifying makes things more manageable quicker than organizing can. What if you only had what you love and what fits in your closet based on a few colors so most things match each other? Would that make it easier to get dressed in the morning?

You can have a menu plan of two weeks worth of recipes you can re-use then a simple file folder with a few recipes you want to try based on how many new recipes you usually use in a few months time.

You can recycle those magazines only clipping a few articles to implement while letting the rest go. No big pile of looming projects you probably won’t get to.

Your schedule would be easier to maintain if you cut some things out of it based on you and your family’s priorities. You could have a simple list of things to do morning, afternoon and evening instead of being tightly scheduled.

If your home is filled more with things you use on a regular basis and love rather than crammed with stuff from the past or things you “might need someday” you can take care of your home easier.

What are you trying to organize into manageability in your life? What needs simplifying instead?

After a few 90 degree days here in Michigan and some accountability clients struggling with the heat, I decided to ask our southern friends how they deal with the heat.

Cooling Off

• When you take your breaks, sit in the shade with your feet in a bowl of cool/cold water … sounds odd, but it really helps!
• Drink lots of water.
• Find the shade.
• Fans with ice sitting in front of them. Or a wet towel on the fan.
• Ice water soaked cloth around your neck. Cool water over the wrists.
• Always carry water with you when you are outside or running errands.
• Get your hair wet. Wear long hair up.
• Tepid showers and cool baths help you sleep better at night.
• Keep the shades and blinds closed on the sunny side of the house, and run your ceiling fans counter-clockwise, to force air downward. Use oscillating floor fans to circulate air if you don’t have ceiling fans. 
• Iced tea.
• Wear white linen and long sleeves. If you look cooler, often you feel cooler…honest…50+years living in Central Florida…also summer straw hats. Cotton is also better than synthetics.
• Float in a pool of water or run through the sprinkler.
• Fill a spray bottle with water and keep it in the refrigerator for a quick refreshing spray to your face after being outdoors.
• Chillow pillow cooling pad.
• Cool treats like popsicles.

Getting Things Done

• Work in the basement as it is usually cool.
• Do paper work, clean photos, organize fabric and yarn, or other less “demanding” projects.
• Only work outside in the cooler mornings or evenings.  Be willing to change your schedule, if possible. Do the heavier types of work and outside work as early as you can or as late as you can. Exercise, laundry, cooking, gardening – anything you can knock off early helps.
• Take advantage of cloudy days.
• Commit to a siesta in the hottest hours.
• Supper is in the crock pot in the early a.m. or a cold plate. Don’t use the oven; use the grill, the microwave, and the top of the stove as much as you can. Cold dinners, like salads with fish or meat, may be an appetizing option, too, especially with an abundance of fresh fruit and vegetables. Smaller meals and less heavy meals.
• Just work on keeping stuff alive outside, but work mainly inside.
• Pace your activity. Start slowly.

Do you have any more tips?

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Pix by Brea Dargis

It’s exhausting to go through the motions in our day, dealing with whatever is screaming the loudest and feels the most urgent. Our soul craves purpose, meaning and connection. Following our soul leads to a much different day.

But, we can’t hear what our soul says until we get quiet and alone. It’s not usually loud like a 2-year old demanding attention.

Often people run from that alone time, filling it with the internet or phone, never quieting their mind enough to listen. Fear calls saying, “You aren’t enough, if you aren’t doing something.” “If you get alone time, you’ll discover you aren’t happy and will need to change your whole life.” “Your emotions might be overwhelming if you give them space.”

So you tell yourself you just don’t have the time.

You drift further from your soul’s wisdom. You keep yourself busy doing things that may not matter.

So start small. Sit for 30 seconds breathing.  Next time you wait in line, keep your phone away. After you drop off the kids, turn off the radio as you drive to your destination in silence.

I find I hear small changes during my alone time. Drink more water. What would love do in this situation? Go for a morning walk at the beach. Call this person. The more I listen to my soul, the closer I get to the life I am meant to live.

What will you hear if you get quiet?

Last week I was awakened with the idea that you needed a retreat from busyness. Lent starts today and so people are giving up things like pop and chocolate. This is also a great time to practice being less busy.

I made a  Friday evening to Sunday evening retreat you can do at home to stop the busy cycle. From the retreat you will have ideas to make the next 40 days less busy.

If you can’t figure out how to get that much time in a row, do one thing each day. Answer just one of the journal questions. Do one of the activities for a bit.

You can get the retreat here for $2.99. Just make sure you go to the page PayPal will send you afterwards so you get to the download page.

“There is no social stigma attached to the frenzy, no peer motivation to slow us down. Rather it is the opposite; busy is popular currency, traded among members of modern society like a precious commodity. Busy is the silkiest cloth at the emporium, the most well-travelled spice. Living with a full schedule speedily typed into a pinging, vibrating device is a highly valued state of being. And, as with any addiction, it becomes self-perpetuating. We feel a rush from being in a rush; we take pride in the breakneck pace at which we travel through our days.”
― Gillian Deacon, Naked Imperfection: A Memoir

Let’s slow down this season.

People pleasing is what gets in the way of simple living the most for me.

The other day I was at Kinko’s getting a black cover for my Messiah songbook for the performance. As I was paying for the book, I noticed it had a clear cover instead of black. I actually started thinking of ways to get it fixed – taking it apart myself, running around town finding a different printer to put on a black cover, get another black folder to cover it. I didn’t want to hurt this guy’s feelings that did it wrong.

Thankfully before I signed my name I came to my senses. I took the book out of the bag and said, “The front cover is clear and I need it in black.” He sighed saying that is how it is usually done, but he could fix it.

As a wandered the store for a few more minutes I thought of other ways I have settled so I didn’t make someone feel badly. But, I also didn’t get what I wanted or needed.

I was fully satisfied when I put the black covered music in my bag.

Then the same day I called the car dealership which had left a message earlier in the week to tell me they had my ignition to replace the one that was recalled. The person I talked to said I had to bring the car in to make sure it was not working. I told them the key came out when it was in the wrong position. They said I still had to bring it in they didn’t have the part anyway. So I made an appointment for them to look at the car.

When my husband came home he was not happy. He said I should call them back. So I called asking for the person that called originally. She was on vacation. But I talked to someone and finally got them to say I could bring the car in and the part would be in. They would replace the same day.

Can you imagine how much time I would have wasted going around town to get the black cover fixed or to go to two appointments at the car dealership?

Where are you settling? Where has people pleasing gotten in your way of a simpler life?

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Photo by Chas Redmond