As I was stepping into the shower today, I was thinking that I would like one of those shower speakers to play music or podcasts. Then I realized the shower is one of the last places I have where there is no opportunity to consume other people’s input.
Like many people, my best ideas happen in the shower. Those small moments where there is nothing but your thoughts is becoming rarer.
I noticed that again a week ago. (Insight and awareness appear in cycles. Sometimes I need to be reminded over and over again.) I have been reclaiming these moments. I no longer get out my phone while waiting at appointments. Sitting in the dentist chair Monday waiting for the dentist, the assistant asked if I wanted my phone. I said no.
I can put on my makeup without background noise, though I saw mirrors with built-in speakers when I looked for a vanity mirror. Or eat lunch without watching a video. I hike in nature without audio.
I love music when I am driving, but sometimes I will drive without anything playing if I have been feeling amped up and frazzled.
If you are feeling overwhelmed by all the input coming into your life, stop some of it. We get to be in control with what we read, hear, see, consume in our downtime at least part of the time. We are burying ourselves in a quest to stay relevant, productive and always learning.
Allow yourself to be bored and quiet. See how that extra space feels.
Watch TV without playing on your phone. Go on the treadmill with only your thoughts. Enter the restroom without a magazine.
Today, decide on one spot that you could add quiet without input, whether the shower, car, or waiting in line. What moment can you reclaim for your sanity and creativity?
I’ve been reading the book Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport. I had been concerned about the affects of so much distraction and connection. But, you know, for other people. Certainly not me.
I worried about losing deep thought as we are fed things that may or may not be true by the media and social media designed to get a reaction to get views and shares. It seems people fall into their camps on whatever issue without looking at the other side, without noticing the manipulation of feelings. What do you think of a liberal? What do you think of a conservative? What if it wasn’t true? Have you even checked? Have you had live conversations where you didn’t want to push your view, but you wanted to understand?
With no quiet for thinking, everyone is spurting out talking points fed to them from whatever media they consume. Which comes in rapid fire with one “outrage” after another.
And of course all the gatherings where people are sitting around looking at their phones or in restaurants or at the playground. You talk to someone and you can feel them pulling away when they want to “quick check” their phone.
Plus, I often see (in myself as well) using multiple technologies at once. Watching TV while playing on the tablet while texting. Half watching a video while emailing. Reading an ebook only to jump to an app that pinged.
We used to spend way less time interacting with our phones and playing on our tablets. The technology was created to be addictive and it is. If we aren’t aware, we can easily get sucked in.
Newport says digital minimalism is focusing “online time on a small number of carefully selected and optimized activities that strongly support things you value and then happily miss out on everything else.” He suggests asking is this the technology to support this value best?
The stats were not comforting. He says kids born after 1995 are more anxious than past generations. Part of this is the lack of solitude and constant online comparisons.
The average Facebook user uses some form of Facebook 50 min a day. There is an app called Moment that tracks cell phone use. The average user spends about 3 hours a day looking at their smartphone screen and picks up their phone 39 times a day. And these are people trying to slow down their use.
A digital fast from optimal technologies is what Newport suggests, replacing it with meaningful activities like solitude, journaling, music, learning new skills, meditating, and actual conversations.
It turns out, this is more difficult than anticipated. I am starting over today after somehow going down the Facebook/news rabbit hole yesterday after being off them a week except for business.
“I am waiting for a video to download so I might as well peek at the news.” “That news article is taking awhile to load, let me look at Facebook.” Then I am getting angry with nice people being completely close-minded and separating from each other. Back to the news which is trying to get me angry and succeeding.
Only then did I remember the digital fast. Oh yes, I am supposed to be allowing space as I wait instead of filling it immediately. I am seeing what life would be without reading everything, playing every game, or allowing every input that comes my way.
I’m sure everyone thinks it’s other people who have the problem with technology. We usually have a blind spot to our own. Not sure? Try the 30 day digital fast on unnecessary technologies and see.
Besides the fast he suggests some other ideas:
Carefully select, based on what is important to you, newsletters, blogs, social media, news services (preferably a curated one like allsides.com)
Cull people you follow on social media to a reasonable amount (the suggestion was 150 people)
Have a curfew for your phone
Spend time daily without technology
Batch text messages
Reclaim your leisure with something other than technology like outdoor projects, exercise, reading, writing, playing an instrument, swimming, crafting, classes, board games, fixing, building, learning, joining.
Delete social media from your phone and only use it on the computer
Be mindful with news and realize news 24 hours after the fact is more complete. Read from the opposite of what you naturally support.
Choose when you use technology. Put limits on.
In general, be mindful and conscious with your technology. Don’t follow every ping (in fact turn notifications off.) Limit the blogs you read, people you follow, and game apps you have. Take your life off line sometimes. Don’t allow everyone else to tell you what to think. Contemplate. Let’s see if we can do things like laundry, eating and going to the bathroom without a digital distraction.
If you try the digital fast, I’d love to hear about it in the comments. And if you have any tips on reducing technology use you can put those there as well.
Remember we are in charge of our technology. Let’s act like it.
One way to simplify your life and feel better is to limit your consumption of news. News used to give information that we should know about. But, now that it can track clicks and get considerable information about consumers, the business model has changed.
The more amped up it can get you, the better for the company because you are more likely to tune in or click. News and opinion start to merge together. Speculation, mind-reading and “if it were true, then…” masquerade as facts. Selective editing and taking things out of context so it relays the story as they want it to be seen rather than how it was. Even the pictures and language they choose convey a point of view. They want to shock, outrage and scandalize you. It’s a “bombshell”,”catastrophic”, or “shocking.” The more emotion they can get out of you, the better as you are more invested in the story.
The news acts like it is the conveyor of truth about what is happening in the world. But, they make decisions about what to share from all the things that happen every day. They usually share what’s negative because that is what sells. Matt Wuerker created a cartoon where hundreds of people are holding peace signs, united we stand, hate has no home here and then the news cameras on the four hateful racists.
I can always tell the news junkies because they are the ones running around saying the sky is falling, the sky is falling. Over 90% of the news is negative because that’s what grabs attention. If you think 90% of life is negative, that’s a lot of cynicism.
The news is making us less trusting of one another, more divided, and less optimistic. Psychology Today writes that in studies those who watched negative news were sadder and more anxious. Plus they started catastrophizing their own personal worries. So you may be worrying a bit about finances, then watch the news and now you think your whole life savings will be gone.
The stories that the news got wrong recently – majorly wrong – are too many to count. The retractions are always smaller than the story so people keep believing stories that have been debunked.
Before you get upset about a piece of news, think about how likely it is that it is actually true the exact way it is portrayed. Most of life is nuanced, but news tends to be black and white. Check out opposing news sources on it. Watch the whole video or read the whole transcript. Definitely wait a couple of days so see what else comes out.
We say we want to know the news so we can be “informed.” But, most of us don’t do anything about the news we see, except feel fearful. We consume news addictively when we could be doing something that actually influences the community.
If you are looking for more peace in your life, watch/read/listen to news no more than one time a day. Turn off the notifications and breaking news alerts. Go on news fasts every once in awhile, especially when you have been feeling anxious or down.
Instead get into nature. Call a friend. Do an act of kindness. Host a dinner. Journal out your worries. Volunteer. Write.
I rarely send cards that I buy. I like making my own and I’ve been doing more online cards as a way to have less environmental impact.
Paperless Post set me up with some coins to try out their card system. I saw I had some Christmas cards yet to send and thought this would be a perfect opportunity.
The whole thing was simple and I love the designs.
How to send cards
Pick a card from a variety of categories. They also do invites and flyers. (You can upload your own design, too.)
Customize the background, saying and font. Some have spaces to put pictures in.
Update the stamp, envelope and typeface.
Write in your name and subject line.
Enter the names and emails (Mine was 5 coins per recipient. They also have some free invitations and free cards.)
Schedule or send now.
It’s really easy and the cards are so professional looking. Here are some Christmas cards if you are interested (especially those of you who know you won’t have time to write out regular cards this year.)
I find things fall through the cracks when I don’t use my calendar well. I use an electronic calendar because there are more events for me that I can copy and paste from email and online. Plus, I am able to have reminders go off so I will do things and not forget. And finally, it gives me more room to enter things. But, you can use whichever type of calendar works best for you. Here are some ideas for using a calendar:
When you finish an action that requires a response, write “Follow up with H” or whomever, into the date you expect a response. So if I send a newsletter test to someone and know it needs to go out Friday, I put in my calendar to follow up Thursday to make sure I have approval.
If there is a speaking engagement, training or some event that needs preparation, put in the calendar preparation time as you put the event in your calendar. So 3 weeks before book club I have, “Put book on hold at library”. 2 weeks before I have, “Start reading book club book”.
For birthdays, weddings and other events, enter buy presents/make cards 2 weeks before. It pops up annually just like the actual date if you do a recurring event.
When you get something you need to do by a certain date through email, put the email text into the calendar description. Whenever you get something that you are going to put in the calendar, ask, “What information I will need to do the task.” If you get an email saying call J with the phone number, add the phone number to the calendar so you won’t have to search later. If you have a webinar to attend, put the call in information right in the calendar post.
To help in creating new habits put them in your calendar. Put decluttering into your calendar at 7pm or your best time so your “I forgot to do it” excuse flies out the window. Google Calendar has a goals addition to help schedule your goals. Learn more here.
Add to your calendar recurring tasks you want to do like vacuuming the stairs, calling Grandma and paying bills. Come up with regular get-togethers with your friends.
Make your next appointment (hair, doctor, massage) while you are at the office so you don’t have to remember to call later. Plus you get the premium spots versus calling last minute.
With most digital calendars you can add multiple calendars so you can see your spouse’s, kids schedule, clients or co-workers to make it easier to keep track and create meetings.
Only use one calendar – not one paper and one digital or one personal and one work or you may double book.
At the beginning of the year, block out days you want to take off – like vacations, or hard anniversaries or a day after that big event or project is complete.
For meetings put the notes or agenda into the calendar event.
Block off a monthly catch up day where you have no appointments and meetings so you can catch up on tasks.
Check your calendar often, but at least at the end of the day and in the morning. At the end of day, see what you can prepare for the next day.
If you are looking for a digital calendar, here are some options:
I’ve been watching some of the Olympics and am currently enjoying the swimmers and gymnastics right now. Such drive and hard work! They are focused and lean into the support of the team, coaches and family.
This week I’ve noticed the inspiration I’ve gained from seeing these athletes at the top of their game. I’ve heard myself say, “I can walk an extra time around the pond.” Or, “Let me see if I can hold this plank an extra 5 seconds.” I went out walking yesterday morning even though I really didn’t feel like it.
As I walked I was thinking that if watching these games can give me more motivation, maybe I need to pay more attention to what I am watching and reading.
What we input into our minds does affect how we do things. A crime TV show may make us more anxious or tired. We all know what watching a bunch of news does to us. A cute cat video may make us feel happier (may I suggest this one.) Too much social media has us comparing our lives to others’ “airbrushed for consumption” lives. Social media can make use feel restless or we may feel its addictive qualities and have to keep checking it. Or we can use it to build relationships and scroll past the stuff that makes us outraged.
We can pretend that what media we consume doesn’t make a difference, but for most of us it does. (Especially for us sensitive souls.) Media is also individualized, affecting each of us differently.
So this week notice how you feel when you are interacting with certain shows, songs, or social media. Are their any changes you want to make?
I prefer Annual Planning so there are plans for the things I want to do. I found most of the goal setting workbooks I tried only stuffed my life with more to do’s I didn’t have time for.
So I created my own Annual Planner which along with goal setting includes time ideas and ways to simplify the year. It’s the system I use to go from goals to accomplishments.
This year I did my workbook and came up with some aspirations.
Then I played with a new online program called Trello. You can create cards, add pictures and checklists and move the cards around.
During my Change Your Relationship to Time class, I talked about how important work breaks are for focus and energy. A regular break schedule is helpful if you can do that. Research says the maximum people can stay focused is 90 minutes. So if that is you, you can take your breaks every 90 minutes.
My attention span isn’t that long, so I love the Pomodoro Technique – 25 minute focused work sessions with a 5 minute break.
What does a focused work session look like?
No checking Facebook or YouTube.
No checking your phone or email.
Staying with one task until complete or you have your break.
No multi-tasking.
Giving your task will get your full attention.
Not interrupting yourself.
Writing down any other tasks you think of as you are doing your Pomodoro instead of switching tasks.
This method also makes sure you are breaking tasks and projects down into small enough chunks (no more than 25 minutes). A great anti-procrastination technique.
I used to think that this was so lazy taking a break after only 25 minutes. But, when I don’t my mind wanders. I start to read on Facebook. I say, “What would a quick check of my email do?” Next thing you know I have fallen down the rabbit hole and lost an hour of work time. I either take a planned break or my mind decides to take a break for me. The second way is less productive for me.
You can use a simple timer, or an app to time your sessions. I use my kitchen timer since I work from home.
To begin your Pomodoro:
Choose a task you want to do.
Set the timer for 25 minutes.
Work on your task and stay focused.
When the timer goes off congratulate yourself and write down a checkmark for one completed Pomodoro.
Take a 5 minute break.
After 4 Pomodoros take a longer 15-30 minute break.
This is just one method for work and breaks. You can modify the time based on your level of focus. The good news is he more you practice focusing, the easier it becomes.
It is easy to get sucked into reading email every time it beeps. But then we might not get anything done. I am continually reminding myself if I open email I have to do something with it besides read it.
1) Set a time to check and process email 3 times a day. That means read AND take action. Only reading your email is a procrastination tool and a way to get a little adrenaline kick. If you don’t do anything with it, it’s a waste of time.
2) Set a timer for 21 minutes try to get to inbox zero (no emails in the inbox.) Whether you get there or not isn’t the point. The point is to stay focused on doing something with the emails. The 21 minute timing can be fiddled with depending on how much email you generally get.
Some other email tips that I use:
If you use Gmail, get the priority email box so the important email is at the top.
Use unroll.me so you can get a daily digest of newsletters and ads. A quick scan of one email is much faster than reading the emails one at a time.
When you are sick/on vacation/just behind on emails and are feeling overwhelmed by the backlog try doing it a day at a time. Monday do all the emails from the past Mondays. Tuesday do all the emails from the past Tuesdays (Or as much as you have time for.)
Create a next action email folder for things you have to do – but also put the action on your to do list.
Do at least one project before processing email or reading Facebook.
If you have a job that requires you do be more email available, make sure you do your task first, then check email. If you are constantly interrupting tasks to check email you will be much less productive.
Turn off the email notification on your phone.
Try to have all of yesterday’s email processed by the end of today. If you get too much regularly – start unsubscribing. (Unroll.me is an easy way to do that as well.)
Keep your emails short, yet kind. Always read over before you send noticing if there might be questions the other person may have when reading it. If so, clarify your email.
Remember, email is a relatively passive activity. Be aware of letting the phone/email suck you in so you are participating less in the world.
I rarely send cards that I buy. I like making my own and I’ve been doing more online cards as a way to have less environmental impact.
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