In Chapter 13 of Comfort Secrets for Busy Women, Jennifer Louden poses the question we often ask ourselves when we start to care for ourselves “If pleasure and joy become our way of life, won’t we slack off and never amount to anything?” This is where we discern the difference between true joy – being more loving towards yourself and listening to the needs of others – and shadow comforts (too many sweets, too much TV, buying things you don’t need, surfing the Internet, reading too much and time monsters – procrastination, too much information, overzealous record keeping, phone conversations with people you don’t want to talk to, pointless meetings.
“Shadow comforts and time monsters are fed by the inability to trust yourself enough to go into your hunger and listen to it. When you connect with your desire, savor your life and continually listen the potential for narcissistic self-absorption and shadow comforts diminishes greatly.
One question she asks. “What is the one thing I need more of in my life right now?” I pick connection. Busyness has shut out some time of hanging out with friends. So I put that back on my list and will enjoy a lunch out with a friend today.