I was so on edge. I had no energy, except that tense agitation. By the time I wanted to sleep I couldn’t shut my mind off. So I got out my journal and wrote out my anger and annoyance.
Rereading I noticed how much I was trying to control people and situations around me. And because things weren’t happening how I wanted them to, I turned into this nightmare person. Arguing and nagging my son about his homework. Being sullen with my husband because he didn’t react the way I wanted him to.
Teeth clenched, breathing shallow, thinking, “If everyone would just do what I want, things would be so much easier.”
Yuck – who was that stern faced women? I put her to bed when I put my journal away. And drifted off to sleep.
Where have you been saying, “I wish he would…”, “I wish this hadn’t happened”, “Why won’t they just do it my way?”
Where can you let go of clutching control?