There are days like the past couple days where I feel like a failure. Not everything gets done. I was in a bad mood. I called a client an hour early. We had peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for dinner.
Then there is the added pressure of a new year where we are supposed to have it all together.
Turns out it was PMS with low energy and a migraine coming. But, this sensitive time brings to the surface thoughts that I can often bury. I am reminded where I still think in society’s standards. And feel shame of not living up to them.
I’ve tended towards going my own way. From starting my own business and working from home to letting my daughter where mismatched socks to school and forgoing bake sales. I like to think of myself as a non-conformist. I refuse to diet and let others dictate how I look. I set my own hours. We eat dinner at 4pm.
But, being a human creature, there is still that wanting to belong and not wanting to disappoint. I don’t like that it’s there, but it’s there for most people. So whenever I start to feel lots of pressure and feelings of failure, I know I have drifted from my inner guidance to the outside world.
Ways I get out this thinking:
- Remembering I am human and connection is how we are built. These feelings are normal.
- Going into prayer, finding my faith, believing in God’s timing and that what needs to get done will get done
- Slowing down between tasks and activities so I can think and process instead of going on automatic
- Reminding myself it’s arrogant to think I can get out of making mistakes. No one can. So I can ask for forgiveness instead of wallowing in energy-draining guilt.
- Staying off social media for a bit and not comparing my life to others
- Or more often comparing my life to the ideal in my head, where I always fall short and feel not enough. I check in with the now and see what’s good and what I can make better. That’s the only place you can change.
- Allowing myself to set my own standards for what is priority in my life at this time. I get to choose since it’s my life.
What new thought patterns might help you today?