Do you always feel like you should be doing something else? You are reading to your kids and you realize you need to do laundry. You are at work and want to be fixing lunch for your kids. Your friend invites you out to dinner and you already are going somewhere else. You are at the park when you could be at the grocery store.
It’s time to release the guilt.
Photo by Robyn Gallagher
First of all know that no one has it all together. They may look like it, but that is just the surface. I laughed when one of my friends said, "I’m glad you told me that story, I was beginning to think you were perfect." Definitely not!
Don’t assume you know what goes on in the background of someone’s life.
Next remember, your life has tons of options so there is always going to be something else you could/should be doing. Look at that statement again – no matter what you are doing there will always be something else you could be doing.
It’s ridiculous to always feel guilty because of it. Every time that thought pops up that you should be doing_____________ or you could be talking to ____________ instead, tell yourself you are doing what you are doing. Be present.
If you are making conscious choices about what to do, you don’t have to keep making the same decision over and over in your head. That’s essentially what you are doing every time you second guess your choices.
What is Important?
If you know what is important to you, you can let go of what’s less important. Let go of the magazine ideal home spreads where no one lives at. Take time for yourself, but don’t beat yourself up for not feeling like a cover girl. You are thinner, more attractive and lovelier that you see yourself.
Most of us are not realistic when it comes to planning what we can do in one day (week, month…). But, if you keep making choices to do what is most important first, your life will be moving in the right direction.
Relaxing is important. So when you are reading, playing piano, or talking with friends banish guilt from your thoughts. You need this time to be the best you can be. A worn out parent or worker is not helpful to anyone.
Learning from Mistakes
Give you and your family the ability to learn from mistakes and grow instead of seeing them all as failures. At the end of the day, write down things you feel you should have done differently. Try out the new suggestions next time. Dwelling on past mistakes doesn’t change anything. The only thing that can change is what you will do next time.
So when your kid screws up, talk about what made the choice bad and have them come up with better choices for the future.
Remember the Good
If a friend was saying to you, "I need to exercise more, keep a much better house, go on more dates with my husband, work more hours, volunteer more, be a better daughter, learn to cook and do something with your hair," what would you say to her? Would you tell her, "Yes, you are right. Get a move on." No you would let her know that she is doing better than she thinks. Maybe encourage her to try to do one thing better for the moment and not try to be perfect at everything.
I have a feeling a lot of you are very hard on yourselves.
In your same journaling review of the day, also write about all the things that went well today or you are grateful for or you accomplished.
You are doing better than you think.