Even though I am still reeling from my son’s death, things still must get done – taxes, money stuff, work, prosecution stuff…
Here’s what’s been working for me:
- Have grief sessions every morning and/or evening. Just a time to let whatever you are feeling out – through music, journaling, art. Letting it out every day, makes it easier the rest of the day.
- Only choose 3 things that have to be done. On some days, just 1.
- Set the timer for every 15 minutes when you are in ‘get it done’ mode. When the timer goes off, check in to see if you are focusing. If you aren’t, you can choose whether to re-focus or take a break.
- Take breaks often. Whether you need to cry in the bathroom, take a short walk in the sunshine or call a friend.
- Slow down a lot. Bow out of duties. Cut down on social commitments. Overload makes things more difficult.
- Ask for help. The people that love you want to be able to comfort and support you. But they don’t know what you need unless you ask. I have a friend who is doing dishes twice a week. And food from the church 3 times a week. And lots of comfort, kind words and prayers.
- Get enough sleep. No need to add extremely tired to the mix.
- Keep checking in with yourself. When you know tears or rage are coming, you can get into a non-public place if that is what you want. But, you need to check in often to keep ahead. At least every hour. Ask yourself how you are feeling, what you need and if you need support.
- Decompress when you get home. Go for a nature walk, cry in the shower, connect with someone if you want to, ignore calls if you don’t, or do some yoga.