My Stress is Worse than Your Stress

Cath Duncan, of Remembering for Good, wrote this great article on hierarchies of grief. Depending on what your loss was will determine how much sympathy you get and how long you are allowed to grieve. But, this hierachy is not good for you or for society. It just leads to judgment and shame. Is grief really where you want to one up someone on? Instead Cath suggests that we give everyone full permission to feel and grieve as they need to. And wrap everyone in that blanket of comfort.

And I was thinking that we do this in other ways as well. From going on about what a horrible day you had to how busy you are. Your day is always worse than the other person’s. You are more busy than anyone else. And if feels that way because it is happening to you. Just as grief is personal, your life is yours so you feel it more acutely.

Maybe this week, when someone complains about how much stress they are under, you nod and sympathize. Instead of going into a story right away about how much stress you are under. Listen. Give comfort. Because we are all under pressure. Life feels hard for many. We don’t need to compare lives to see whose is the hardest.

Let’s just gather together to hold each other up – no judgments.

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