I started to get a migraine New Year’s Eve. The midnight fireworks didn’t help. I woke this morning with a doozy of migraine pain. So I went within to feel the feelings.
I noticed that I had been reading a lot of those end of year/decade retrospects of travel, family, and prosperity. My past decade was one of great loss. The biggest being my son and my Mom. In the recent couple years an empty nest. It’s been a decade of hard. So I let myself feel that pain and sadness. Sit with the feelings.
I am sure I am not the only one that has gone through a difficult decade. So give yourself time to mourn. To feel. To remember.
After letting those emotions wash over me, I reminded myself of how much stronger and more compassionate I am now. How strong my marriage is. How much deeper my spirituality. How much wiser my writing. How much more connected I am to my body and emotions.
I remember the fun with family, the adventures, getting back into singing in public and on stage, and all the nature hikes.
I look to this new decade, knowing there will be pain but also knowing there will be joy, so I hope.
My wish for all of you is that you will find joy and beauty, whatever this new decade brings. And that you would make honest connections so you are supported during the rough patches. May you know you are loved and lovable. Light and love to all of you.
It’s been a huge decade of loss and change here as well. Any one would be enough to make me want to hide under the covers (except the birth of my granddaughter), but I have discovered that being where I am emotionally is enough and okay. Blessings to you in this new year!
I am sorry you have had so much loss as well Matty. I love that you are aware at where you are emotionally is enough and ok. Have a blessed 2020.
Your New Year Perspective really speaks to me. I feel like I need a complete overhaul!
Mostly, I have just pulled up my bootstraps and got on with things, but my decade has been hard work! On 4 September 2010 my city suffered what was the first of over 15,000 earthquakes and my Mum had her first of a series of mini-strokes. Just a week later she had a massive one and we turned her life support off on the 16th. 4 hours later my Father-in-law died. I’m not sure how we got through that time, to be honest. Just a few months later, another big earthquake had us living in a tent in our back garden. 6 weeks with no power or running water. We just did what we had to. I gave up paid employment to follow my creative passion and ended up as the Chair of a local community group. Still there 9 years later. There was some great joy as well, 3 grandchildren with another due in April. My husband and 4 kids are all happy & healthy. Weŗe making plans for traveling in our retirement years. But I’m feeling the need for change – with no idea of what I actually want or need.
It does sound hard, Tracey. I hope you are able to take some quiet time and re-connect with the “what’s next.”