I’ve been reading a lot on self-compassion lately, from various places. And I’ve been thinking about it with my Declutter Group.
Self-compassion is more important than self-discipline. Picture yourself overeating. Disgusted with yourself you tell yourself you are fat and stupid. Which makes you want to eat. So you do. If only you had more self-discipline. Then you call yourself names and the cycle continues. Yet somehow we think this is the best way to stop ourselves from overeating.
Now picture yourself overeating. Afterwards, you tell yourself everyone overeats sometimes. It’s normal. And you can ask what you want to do now. Or what you have learned from it. Perhaps that you allowed yourself to get too hungry and will do better at spacing meals. You compensate by eating a little less at your next meal without beating yourself up about it.
Same idea with decluttering or cleaning. People tend to think they should have decluttered already and they were just being lazy. Their self talk only makes them have low energy when it is time to declutter. All that guilt from the past of not decluttering sucking the energy from the current decluttering time.
Instead you can be compassionate with yourself. If you could have decluttered before you would have. But, now is now. And you can congratulate yourself for starting to declutter in this moment. Feel how much more energy you have for decluttering with just different self talk.
Where do you need more self-compassion?
If you like to read more on why self-compassion works, here are a couple articles: