Simplify by Losing Control

11.01.2010

My 18 year old son was looking for his first car. He wanted us to check out one of his choices. My husband said he wouldn’t buy that car and told him all the things wrong with it. We had found a couple much better choices and showed him. I spent days fretting about him wanting to get that awful car – wasting time and energy. But, we knew saying no would just have him want to buy it anyway.

A few days later what is affectionately known as "The Turd" was in our driveway. And my son has spent two weekends in a row working on that car with my husband. Unhappily. Lesson learned.

Without me having to control anything.

Trying to control things – what our kids wear, what our husbands do, how our friends live their lives, what everyone eats, how much work our co-workers are doing, how our sister is raising her kids….is a waste of time worrying and manipulating.

Because we don’t have control over other people. Usually natural consequences teach people. Lectures and cajoling doesn’t.  So unless they ask for advice, we might as well work on being good role models ourselves. After all, we are the only people we have control of.

3 Comments

  • Diana says:

    So so true and hard to do when you’ve been the mover and shaker for toooo long. My 20 yr old just told me he and his girlfriend are having a baby in May. Happy re baby not about out of wedlock situation. I have to let him go so that he can experience life and learn the hard way – unfortunately the way I always learned.
    I lean on God and pray a lot. It’s the only way I can keep my nose out of other people’s business. Oprah magazine a couple years ago had an article about people wanting to control others and that often it’s just to keep them busy so that they feel needed. It’s like they would face a void if they didn’t stay busy. Struck truth in me.
    Good bless and keep all of you as we all struggle with life’s events!

  • Gina says:

    Awesome! Thanks Beth ; -)

  • Maree says:

    Very wise words as usual Beth. thank you

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