My 18 year old son was looking for his first car. He wanted us to check out one of his choices. My husband said he wouldn’t buy that car and told him all the things wrong with it. We had found a couple much better choices and showed him. I spent days fretting about him wanting to get that awful car – wasting time and energy. But, we knew saying no would just have him want to buy it anyway.
A few days later what is affectionately known as "The Turd" was in our driveway. And my son has spent two weekends in a row working on that car with my husband. Unhappily. Lesson learned.
Without me having to control anything.
Trying to control things – what our kids wear, what our husbands do, how our friends live their lives, what everyone eats, how much work our co-workers are doing, how our sister is raising her kids….is a waste of time worrying and manipulating.
Because we don’t have control over other people. Usually natural consequences teach people. Lectures and cajoling doesn’t. So unless they ask for advice, we might as well work on being good role models ourselves. After all, we are the only people we have control of.