It’s no fun having to be vulnerable and admit you screwed up. But, I want to model self-compassion in the midst of messing up.
Wednesday was not good. We took my daughter out for soup to celebrate her last day of school and that was planned. Then later she had a writer’s meet. Right near the strip mall. I didn’t want to drive all the way home so I thought I’d just browse. Something I suggest NOT doing if you want to stay fiscally sane.
So there I am in Barnes and Noble looking around. Oh, the latest Janet Evanovich is in paper back. And look that lovely Emily Dickenson book is on clearance. And Brea loves Emily Dickenson. The tummy rumbles. I spy a gorgeous raspberry lemon bar. I sit and read.
Still have time to waste. I go over to T.J. Maxx. No petite clothes, thank goodness. I browse housewares instead. Great, an over the door hanger for the kitchen door and it’s only 6.99. And a new plastic makeup organizer since mine doesn’t fit what I need it to. I quickly leave before I spend any more.
Not time yet, so I go into Bed, Bath and Beyond. I know I won’t spend anything here. Until I see the stainless steel utensil holder. My crock is annoying because it doesn’t hold everything well. This one would. By this time, my head and shoulders were starting to ache. Probably from guilt. But, look a lovely chamomile scented neck warmer thing.
I ended up picking her up 10 minutes early because I didn’t want to go into anymore stores.
And I’m not planning on returning any of it. The books I know we will read soon. I already set up the organizers and they are helpful. And I loved my neck thing. So at least I didn’t buy clutter. I put the old cosmetic organizer and crock into the goodwill box.
Here comes the learning and self-compassion. So what would I ask my clients?
Why did you break your fast?
I was tired, achy, and feeling like I deserved something.
What can you do next time?
Read in the back yard which really would have been more satisfying. And stay away from browsing.
Finally, I would say not to let this fail be all or nothing. Start anew in the morning. Which I did. I bought allergy medicine from Walgreens Thursday. And nothing today.
Do you need to start over with self-compassion?