This is the time of year many are planning, decluttering, deciding to lose weight and really be productive. We want schedules to keep us in line. Maybe a new app (I am enjoying Google Keep). We want to make our x’s in a chain of never missing a day of our new habit.

We think if we just stop being lazy we could have all our goals met. But, laziness isn’t the real monster. The real monster is…

Perfectionism

Perfectionism is alive and well now. It will keep you locked in planning rather than doing because if you do, you might not do it perfectly. It searches out the perfect system to control your life. The minute the schedule falls apart – so do you. It makes you go around in circles wondering what the right thing to do next is or where to start.

Start anywhere. Do a shoddy job. See what happens. Use that feedback to do better.

If you miss a day (like in the Declutter Calendar), see how to make it easier and more likely you will follow through the next day. Don’t use it to give up.

If your goal is so big it is overwhelming, break it down. Then break it down again. Then break it down again until there is almost no resistance. The main resistance will be the perfectionism saying you aren’t doing enough. Tell yourself doing something is better than doing nothing.

Let yourself do just enough. How many times have you forced yourself to go over something so it’s perfect that meant very little in the big picture of your life?

Where is perfectionism blocking you? What haven’t you completed because of perfectionism? Where has the pursuit of perfectionism held back your authenticity?

It’s more important to have good character, to begin things and complete things and to be resilient when things don’t happen as we wish than to be perfect (which is impossible anyway).

How can you be kind to yourself this year and be resilient with the challenges that come your way?

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Having a group with you is also a great way to achieve goals. You can see how imperfect we all are but make progress anyway. If you are wanting to declutter this year, you can join the Declutter Group.

If you can’t make a certain decision, it might be time to check in with possible perfectionism.

Even decisions like what flooring, what refrigerator, or what days to plan the vacation can take months or even years.

What if the decision is wrong? What if you don’t like it? What if you are exposed as a nincompoop who makes bad decisions?

It’s perfectionism shouting, “Hi!”

Most decisions aren’t permanent. Even things like jobs – if you picked the wrong one, there are other ones. Even if it’s difficult, changing decisions is usually possible in the future. Most people don’t make the right decision every time. The thing is, you don’t know if a decision is right until you make it. You don’t get feedback until you choose.

Think of decisions more like experiments. “Will this job work with my personality, goals and skills?” “Will I enjoy living with the purple wall?” “What happens if I decide to take a vacation in two months?”

You choose and then you are closer to knowing yourself and your values.

If you don’t allow yourself to make any choosing mistakes because of perfectionism, it is going to be so hard to make any decisions. Even decisions that should be simple – like what to wear in the morning. Or what to have for breakfast. Those little decisions get fueled with worry about getting it wrong.

Get curious about your choice. Get excited that you have the opportunity to make choices many people would love to have. Release the need to get it perfect.

What decision are you holding back on making? What experiment are you willing to do?

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Pix by Dita Margarita