A homeschool mom, home business owner and artist wrote to me saying she’d love to declutter, but has no time. I’m sure you can relate to not having enough time for what you want to do.

Most people hop around a lot. A little facebook, a little cleaning until you notice something else or a child calls. You start cleaning off the desk when you remember you wanted to call someone and another project goes partly done.

Focus

When you have multiple interests and activities, it might be helpful to put them to different days or times of the day. Perhaps 3 hours is spent on the home business, interspersed with homeschooling. Mondays and Thursday are art days for an hour as someone else watches the kids. Another interest or project is done on Tuesdays.

Stick to One Area

When you do house or decluttering projects, stick to one area. Once you start in one corner, get distracted and end up in another room you feel you make no progress. You can’t see any difference even though you’ve worked. Instead, if you work on one pile or one drawer until finished, you can actually see your progress. This makes you more likely to declutter again.

Clean as you go

You can spend less time on housework if you clean as you go. Wash dishes right after lunch and dinner. Bring things to other rooms as you go there. Pick up one project before starting another one. Pick up a spill right away before it hardens.  Go through the mail as you come into the house, recycling junk mail immediately. Put away things you buy at the store before you sit down.

In order to do this, you need to keep present in your life instead of thinking about the next things you are going to do. Or fretting about the past. Focus on what you are doing at the moment, then go on to the next thing. If you get kids interrupting – put on a post it note where you were so you can jump right back in. And sometimes kids can wait for you.  Have a timer to go off every 25 minutes or thereabouts so you can check in with yourself to see if you are still on task.

Let go of activities

You have a life, and each thing in your life needs to be maintained. If you can’t maintain relationships or your health or your home, etc. It’s time to let certain things go – activities, relationships, expectations. You also can lower standards. Maintaining your home, does not mean having a perfect home. Especially with young ones at home. You want it so you can quick pick up in 15 minutes to look reasonable. Yet, having everything perfectly in order all the time is unreasonable. And during these early parenting years you might have to do your favorite activities monthly instead of weekly (but schedule them, so you be sure to do them.)

What will you do to be able to get things done?

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Beth Dargis is the founder of MySimplerLife.com where she helps the overwhelmed create a saner, simpler life. Her tips are short, sweet and right to the point. She says, “I deliver … Untamed possibility. Breathe easier simplicity. Hope. On the wings of understanding and encouragement. Step by step breaking down from “no way! “ to “why not?”. Get your free declutter calendar here.

Photo by Fisk Fisk

I wrote before how you need to simplify when you are reaching your capacity. I’ve noticed a struggle when people think it’s not fair because they reach their capacity before other people. We all know people with tons of energy that book and get an unbelievable amount done. And others reach capacity after finishing 3 things on a to do list.

That’s because capacity is personal. It’s based on things like your energy level. I think you can increase your energy level through good self-care, but not everyone is going to have super energy. It depends on how much time you need between tasks, how many breaks you need, how much alone time renews you. And if you try to push through these limits you will be more depleted.

If much of what you do gives you energy and you are passionate about it, you will have more capacity. If you spend most of your day doing energy draining tasks your capacity will be smaller.

What happens when you reach capacity? Your body says enough. Your productivity starts going downward even though you are still working. Mistakes happen more often and your mind gets fuzzy & jumbled. We think powering through is the answer.

But, the real answer is to stop.

If it’s in the middle of the work day, take a 5 min break, especially if you think you don’t have time for it. If you hit a wall every day at 2pm, think about some ways to simplify or change things up so you have time to rest at that time. If 5:30 pm turns you into a yelling, exhausted maniac, how can you prepare ahead of time so that time is easier?

If you feel you have reached capacity before the day even starts, what are some ways you can cut back, spend less, do less, expect less?

A tale of two mornings

Her alarm goes off. She hits the snooze. Stayed up too late last night. The alarm goes off, she hits the snooze again. The third time the alarm clock almost ends up being thrown, but instead she grudgingly gets out of bed.

She quick checks her email, facebook, pinterest before realizing now she has to rush to get the kids and herself ready. She sets the kids down in front of the TV with a bowl of cereal while she quick takes a shower after rushing to find an outfit.

When she gets out, kids haven’t made any progress yet on getting ready. They got sucked into the TV. She yells for them to get a move on. She decides there is no time for grooming and just slaps some lipstick on. She wrangles the kids who are looking for a shoe, a backpack and a lunch.

They are going to be late. She decides she will just have a coffee for breakfast on the way. As if she wasn’t wired enough. But, she feels so tired. She drives a little too fast and has a couple close calls. By the time she gets to work or her appointment she is frazzled.

In the house next door, her alarm goes off before the kids wake up. She gets up thinking of something she is looking forward to during the way to pry herself out of bed. She has a regular bedtime, so it’s easier for her to get up in the morning. Even if she doesn’t get “everything” done she wants to the night before, she knows how important sleep is to her day.

She centers herself with prayer or meditation before a quick walk or a little yoga. The kids wake up and start working on their get ready checklist. Breakfast and their clothes are laid out the night before.  There are a few nudges to get back on track. When they are done, then they are able to watch TV if they want.

She grabs the clothes she laid out the night before. She takes a quick shower thinking a good outcome for this day. She peeks out to see how the kids are doing, does a little managing then gets her grooming done.

Only then does she check her phone for the news and peeks at her email while eating her breakfast.

They have time to chat as they get coats and backpacks on and get in the car. They know they aren’t going to be late, so there is an easy-going conversation (and a few “he’s touching mes”). After dropping the kids off, she is on her way.

Which house sounds more like your house in the morning? Are there any tweaks you can make to create a calmer morning?

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Need help creating and sticking to your habits? Try the Habit Class.

“If the grass is greener on the other side it’s probably getting better care.” – Earl Nightingale

Ouch, but it’s true most of the time. We like to think some people were born lucky, and it’s not fair and everything should be easy. But, as a general rule the person you are jealous of has worked very hard.

Which is good, because that means we can do it, too. If it’s only about luck or right connections we don’t have a chance. But, if it’s about doing the work – we can do it.

It also mean you have a choice. Is the time it takes to do the work, worth it to you? Maybe you’d love to be extra fit and run marathons. But are you willing to put in the work and time? You’d love the house to always look great, but do you want to put in the work and time to get it that way? In your heart, what are your true priorities?

Does everything have to be done to the perfectionistic standards? Or can you let go of some of that?

That person you are jealous of because of their great cooking, or powerful career may not have a perfect house or may have 20 pounds they’d love to lose.

No one has the time or energy to be excellent at everything. Becoming masterful takes a lot of time. So some things we do can be average. Or even below average.

Does that idea freak you out? Don’t worry, that’s just your ego talking.

Make your choices based on your strengths, not your ego. What are you going to water so your grass will be green?

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Photo by Designs by Kari

Re: New Time Class- Limited Room – March 5, 2012

Attention: Hurried, overwhelmed individuals with too much too do and not enough time to do it

Ask yourself: do you want to live your life in a constant state of hurry and worry?

We all want to feel in control of our time, but how do you do it?

I’ve had some questions about the above time class, I thought I’d answer here.

1) What if I can’t make the classes?

About half of the class members don’t make classes. You will get a transcript of each of the classes, the lessons and the workbook. And you can email me any questions you want. Classes are 8pm Eastern. To find your time zone click here.

2) I’ve never done a chat room. That technology makes me a little scared.

It’s simple, simple, simple. Once you login as a guest or register with a user name and password you pick out, you go to the chat room. Then you type in the box and click to submit. Easy as sending an email.

3) Help, I have to many to dos and I don’t know what to do next!

I thought Time Management was the answer. If only I could plan my time well enough and do enough multi-tasking, it would be "enough." I wrote articles with time tweaks and tips which help, but didn’t solve the underlying problem.

I’ve gone through Franklin planners, Bubble planners, Day Timers, a huge monthly calendar, Remember the Milk, numerous online or computer time programs. But, I didn’t stick with many long.

Why?

I didn’t stick with any because when my to dos got to be so many, the program became overwhelming. So I’d quit and start fresh with a new program.

What I didn’t realize was that it wasn’t the program that was the problem. It was my whole relationship with time.

Changing the relationship

For the past couple years, I have gone from seeing time as a tyrannical task master to seeing time as an abstract concept. It’s fluid and subjective.

Now:

• I rarely rush even when I think I will be late.
• I no longer have to do lists that seize me up as soon as I look at them.
• I know the difference between Soft Time and Hard Time
• My priorities are actual priorities
• I listen to my intution more when finding my next to do
• I have quit my over-planning tendency

Just the other day a friend and I were lost in Grand Rapids, MI. She said, "I am so glad you aren’t getting all upset that we will be late for the concert." Time just isn’t a concept I like to get upset about anymore.

Enroll in the 4-Week "Change Your Relationship with Time" Class Now – Limited Room – starts March 5, 2012

$37

You can find out more info on the class here: Change Your Relationship to Time

I had enough of my broken necklace on my desk. So finally I got out the hot glue gun, plugged it in and fixed my clasp. Took less than 10 minutes.

Now I was on a roll, what else needed hot gluing? I hot glued the bird back on the fence of the decoration that is on my porch.

Then there was the piece of corkboard loose on my bulletin board and a rhinestone that had fallen out. I asked my daughter if she had anything she needed fixing. Round the house I went.

After 30 minutes, I had a multitude of items fixed that had been broken for months. And I had so much energy afterwards.

"What else?"  has become a habit. If I have a hot glue gun out, I’ll ask what else needs fixing. If the vacuum is out, I’ll ask what else needs vacuuming. If I have the window spray, what else might need spraying. If I am trekking down into the basement, what else can go?

I save time doing it this way and I keep up with upkeep better.

This week, try asking, "What else?"

I woke up this morning with a migraine. Again. I work with many clients with health issues that make it more difficult to simplify and organize. I empathize since I am down for the count about 4 times a month. And I know for many it’s a daily challenge.

I see people get caught up in wishland.

They remember when they were healthy and think, "If only I were well, than I could get things done." They concentrate on that thought so often that they lose energy before they even start on something. When you fight with reality you are the one that suffers.

It doesn’t have to be health either. I remember someone who kept saying, "If only Extreme Home Makeover would come to my home, than my problems would be over." That wish dominated her world and she did little to help herself.

Parents of young children can get caught up in how much more time they had before kids and now it’s "impossible" to get things done.

Life changes. Life can be difficult. But, living in wishland makes things worse by making you feel helpless.

Driving out of Wishland

So how do you get out of wishland?

The first thing to do is watch your thoughts. As soon as you start thinking about how much easier it was in the past or wishing it were better now, stop yourself. (It may help to have an alarm go off every 1/2 hour so you can check in with your thoughts until it becomes more habitual.)

Ask yourself:

1. What is my body telling me right now? This morning my body told me to take Excedrin Migraine and go back to bed. I’m behind on my work now, but I can function. If I hadn’t listened I would have plowed through work, ending up with a bigger headache. And out of commission longer.
2. What is my current situation – right now? Are my expectations realistic or based on a different time in my life? If you have fybro and it’s a bad day, don’t make your list impossible to do. Be gentle with yourself. If lots of time is taken with caring for an elderly parent, don’t cram more projects into your life.
3. What one small step can I take to move forward? People keep emailing me saying how great the declutter calendar is because it breaks things down into such small steps they can declutter without a lot of time or energy. Most things can be broken down. Even five minutes a day can accomplish more than you think.

Make plans based on your current situation.

Work with your challenges instead of pretending they don’t exist or wishing things were different. If you know at 4pm every day you crash, plan for this as recovery time. If you know you only have 5 minutes max to do something because you have young kids, have a list of 5 min tasks on the fridge. If you have good days and bad days health wise see how many bad days you average a week and make your plans accordingly. Don’t plan your day based on an ideal day. Base it on an average day in your current life.

You may think you "need" to do more. You don’t like the limits placed on you.

What if you used those limits to narrow down what is most important to you? Recognizing those limits are opportunities to say, "Reading my child a story is more important than finishing the laundry." "This creative idea I have is more important than playing on Facebook." Wishing for a better day has you wanting to do everything even when you can’t. Then you feel badly about yourself and your life.

But consciously choosing what you have the time and energy for gives you an even more fulfilling life.

So at the end of the day, don’t look at what you could of, should of, would of done. Look at the loving moments. The fulfilling times. What you were able to do.

Where are you stuck in wishland? How can you create a more realistic and fulfilling plan for your life?

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Photo by Alice Popkorn

So you want to get it all done this break from work? I suggest – don’t.

Most of my clients have super big goals for this week. So I have had to talk some of them down. Vacation time is not only to get your home back in shape, it’s to recover and to spend time with your family.

Check your to do list, is there a balance? Not perfect balance because that is elusive and doesn’t really exist. But, a simple balance.

Do you have home projects on the list, like decluttering the bedroom or getting through some paper piles? Have just a couple on the list and once those are done you can always add more. After all, I am sure there is already some cleaning up from the holidays that also needs to get done.

How about family activities? Maybe visiting the grandchildren, taking the kids to the movies, or having a family game night. Try to have some family time every day on vacation.

Then there is recuperation time. Do you have any relaxing time on your list? Some reading, extra quiet time to think about the year ahead, long walks, or coffee with friends. Add daily recuperation time to your list.

If you don’t enjoy this vacation time, if you have it, then you will start the new year back at work as tired as you left.

How about if you don’t have vacation?

I am self-employed, so I have work to do. I am trying to work less this week, but there is still work. If you have to work this week too, maybe leave most of the home projects and other projects till after the New Year. Enjoy this time with your family & friends and get some evening recuperation time for yourself.

Off to go to the in-laws to celebrate Christmas!

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Photo by: Michael Cory

Many times when I talk to people they tell me they are busy and they don’t know how to stop. They have to take the kids here and here and here. Or work is keeping them overtime. Or they have to attend so many meetings.

The biggest difference I’ve noticed between the "too busy" and the "not too busy"  is that for the too busy it’s always someone or something else causing the problem.

"Too busy" is the kind of people that makes you exhausted, irritable and like you are missing meaning. Some people can be rushing around like whirlwinds, but they are feeling fulfilled in their lives and energetic. Too busy will seem much different from one person to the next.

In order to become less busy, you need to be self-directed. You can decide how many activities the kids can be in if you are the one driving. You can decide whether you want to join the PTA or not. You get to decide to be more productive during work time so you don’t have to stay late.

You can make your priorities, true priorities. You can make sure you exercise, connect with someone and have quiet time before you watch TV, go to a game or surf the internet.

Trust me, I realize sometimes things happen. People get sick, your daughter gets married, there is a big project at work. Sometimes you may be busy no matter what. But, if you are always too busy, it’s probably not circumstances. It may be you.

Lots of people use busy as a badge of worthiness. I am busy, so I must matter. When they aren’t moving, they get antsy. Some create crises just so they can save the day or complain to others about the drama. Or they stay busy because they are scared other people will get ahead of them. Or look down on them. Staying too busy can be a way of masking feelings they don’t want to deal with.

Where can you take responsibility for the busyness of your life? What are you willing to do about it?

Photo by Eierschneider

One of the big reasons people lives don’t seem simple, is the lack of looking ahead.

Is it more relaxing to fill up the tank one evening or go to the gas station, wait in line, on the way to work in the morning?

Is it easier to plan a weekly menu and get your groceries at once or think about what you want for dinner every night at 5pm?

Is it more fun to plan for a day off on the weekend or let another Sunday be filled with work and chores?

One of my clients just got a calendar that he can see the week and month ahead with. It’s making a big difference already.

If you set aside time at the beginning of the week to look ahead, you can solve many problems with less effort.

• Look at your appointments for the next week. Anything you need to prep for?
• Look at the upcoming deadlines in the next month. Can you do anything for these projects now?
• Do you have to save money for an insurance payment, vacation or a fridge that is on the fritz?
• What days will you need extra quick meals?
• If you are going to be by the post office this week, can you take your library books if it’s nearby?

Don’t wait for your phone to beep at you to let you know what you need to do. Plan ahead and see how much more breathing space you get.

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Photo by: Joe Lanman