The next stage discovered on a morning walk


The wetlands called to me this morning at 6:30am. I pulled up to the bass of the frogs and the brass of the birds.

The air and grass were still damp with morning dew while a breeze made the temperature perfect.

I am greeting by my blue heron and smile. The swans with their cygnets are nowhere to be seen. Perhaps they are learning to fly.

As I am trying to let my daughter do. She will be 21 in less than 2 weeks and is in her own place with five roommates. It’s so hard to let go, especially when you’ve already lost a child who was on the verge of flying himself.

Not one part of me wants to let go. She doesn’t want me to say, “I’m proud of you,” anymore. When she got her wisdom teeth removed she recovered back at her apartment instead of our couch. Our nightly chats are now a few minutes on Facebook every few days.

Thankfully she still wants to go to the farmer’s market, plays, walks at the wetlands and even requested to go on the writer’s retreat with me.

I am not letting go of her. I am letting go of how I’ve been mothering. A new stage.  So she can fly.


  • Denise Barrett says:

    This made me cry as I know exactly how you are feeling. My only daughter moved out of home a couple of years ago aged 22 and I think I cried solidly for that whole day. At first it wasn’t too bad as she used to come home most weekends and rang me nearly every day when she left work and was walking back to her car so we were always in contact. But recently she has now moved in with her boyfriend and working in a different hospital so I no longer get the phone calls and she hardly ever comes back home on the weekends. I miss her terribly as we were always so close and did so much together. My husband tells me that is what life is all about, we encourage them to be independent and she now has a life of her own. I guess it hurts as you realise you are no longer needed and your role of Mum is not as important anymore.

  • Beth Dargis says:

    Thanks for the understanding and sharing, Denise!

  • Taffy says:

    I know these feelings too.
    years ago when I put my son on a plane for college, I physically ached and cried for days on end.
    when I share this with a friend who had done the same thing the year before with her son, she said
    ‘it’s another type of grieving.”
    it’s always harder on the one left behind.
    blessings to you both.

  • Beth Dargis says:

    Thanks, Taffy!

  • Amy Kirk says:

    Beth, I have enjoyed all of your weekly simplicity tips and your weekly posts. This one struck a cord with me. Just as you are, I am also currently struggling to let go of my 19 year old son. This past year while he attended college my biggest struggle has been realizing after 18 years of always being his “go to” person, he’s finding other people (such as his girlfriend) and other ways to fulfill what he always came to me for. I know I need to let him go and realize that he’s not that little boy anymore, but there’s an ache in my heart because I miss him and being needed by him. It’s hard to stop that intense nurturing once they become adults. I get through it by praying and lots of journaling. I want my kids to grow up to be independent but I never expected to feel this way once they finally did. Thank you so much for all you do. You, your posts and your weekly tips are a grounding source for me and look forward to finding an email from you every Sunday. Your work makes a big difference in the lives of others. God Bless. Amy Kirk

  • Beth Dargis says:

    Always nice to know we aren’t alone, Amy! Wishing you well.

  • This post struck a chord with me too! This morning when I walked the kids (newly 6) into school, Connor said to me, “Mummy, you can leave us right here!” I am not allowed to walk them right up to their class anymore!!!! (I have BIG letting go issues). Thanks for the reminder that this letting go process happens in stages.


  • Beth Dargis says:

    Oh so tough having to leave the kids to go to their class without you, Marcia. You are going to love to go back through your wonderful pictures to see the growth.

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