I hear a lot about the “soft life” – a lifestyle centered on ease, comfort, peace and no stress. A simple life is not necessarily a soft life.
The foundation of a simple life is making decisions based on your values. And decision-making can be hard.
You know when you chose yes to something, you are saying no to something else. And with the abundance of choices in modern life, how do you even choose at all?
In the simple life you filter your choices by your values, needs and wants. To find these you need time alone – journaling, thinking, meditating. Deep contemplation in a shallow water world.
You choose what you think is purposeful and meaningful. To find this you need more time alone – praying, reading, noticing. You need to experiment, try new things, take risks.
A simple life of fulfillment, purpose and values is not a life of spending all of your time doing hobbies and self-care. A simple life is a deep life. One that demands you wrestle with hard, honest questions instead of drifting towards whatever feels easiest in the moment.
The “soft life” promises peace through avoidance – fewer responsibilities, more comfort, less friction. But, a truly simple life is built on clarity. Clarity comes from asking and courageously answering the questions most people dodge.
Here are some questions to sit with…
- What kind of life do I actually want – not what social media or culture says I should want. What feels aligned with my purpose, needs and wants and those of my family?
- What are my core values? What are the top 5 values? Am I currently living as if those are important to me? What changes might I make to align more with my values?
- What does a meaningful, purposeful life look like for me? Do I feel a sense of calling? How do I want to serve? How do I want to contribute?
- Am I willing to live in a way that is true to me no matter what others say?
- Where in my life am I choosing comfort over growth, or ease over responsibility?
- What is weighing me down – physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually – that I’ve been avoiding letting go of?
- Am I moving toward something meaningful or simply running away from stress and hustle?
- What brings me real aliveness and satisfaction, rather than fleeting pleasure?
These questions are rarely comfortable. They force trade-offs. They reveal where your current life is out of alignment.
This is why the simple life is not the soft life. The soft life can numb the questions as you float from one fun thing to another. When I think of memories that made me feel truly alive it was things like hiking a mountain even while scared, self-publishing two books, having my grandson and daughter move back in with us, singing a solo for the first time, writing that first article and first blog post, dancing at the park with friends, giving a talk at the library or inviting a new friend out for coffee. Things that didn’t feel comfortable or soft, but made my life vibrant and feeling meaningful.
We also don’t want to fall back into hustling and hurry and taking on too much. That is why we need those questions. To discern what is really meaningful. To notice, “Oh, I am doing this from social pressure or childhood upbringing.” To pause long enough to see that what you are doing is not what really matters. To ask if you would rather scroll all night or go on a walk in nature with friends.
The simple life dares to ask and answer questions and then has the courage to rearrange life around the answers. One small risk, one small act of bravery at a time. The simple life may not be the soft life, but it is worth it to live a life of meaning.
This week, ask yourself one of these questions. Then make one small tweak to your life to make it simpler and more in line with your values and what is important in your life currently.
Connect with Me
- Join me on Facebook at My Simpler Life Nest group
