What do feelings have to do with it?


Once in awhile I will have someone complain about blog posts or in a course that I discuss feelings. They want me to just give a plan for change that they can follow.

However, I have found in my 15 years of doing this that time, energy and knowledge are not the main reasons people don’t change – though those are the main excuses.

Resistance to change comes from feelings and self talk that makes you want to quit before you start. Resistance doesn’t want to deal with emotions that come up as you create new habits. Staying stuck comes when you don’t admit the real reason change isn’t happening. Maybe you are scared as you move beyond your comfort zone. Or feelings of loss come up as you declutter. Or you feel inferior because you think everyone else has it together but you. You could be mad at yourself that you got into a mess to begin with.

If you don’t work with emotions, you most likely will quit as soon as it seems hard.  There is a reason change hasn’t happened yet. And it’s rarely the reason you think it is.


  • DJ Brunson says:

    Dear Beth,

    I call you by your first name as I feel like you are like a close friend/cousin/sister, one who we can bounce things off of each other and be there for each other in any situation. About emotions…emotions can have you wanting to throw your favorite vase, shoes whatever the case may be instead of sitting down and getting to the root of why you have such anger and the piles of mess just messed with you one last time. Or, you may want to add to this mess by shopping pleasures for a momentary fix of sadness, grief, scared of what’s next…I agree with you – emotions can encourage us and hinder us just the same. What are we robots? Nope, human beings and we need one another. So I for one encourage you to keep up with the emotional side of life (duh) and help us get our acts together and we are there for you. The End! 🙂

  • Beth says:

    Well I really appreciate that DJ 🙂

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