What do feelings have to do with it?

Once in awhile I will have someone complain about blog posts or in a course that I discuss feelings. They want me to just give a plan for change that they can follow.

However, I have found in my 15 years of doing this that time, energy and knowledge are not the main reasons people don’t change – though those are the main excuses.

Resistance to change comes from feelings and self talk that makes you want to quit before you start. Resistance doesn’t want to deal with emotions that come up as you create new habits. Staying stuck comes when you don’t admit the real reason change isn’t happening. Maybe you are scared as you move beyond your comfort zone. Or feelings of loss come up as you declutter. Or you feel inferior because you think everyone else has it together but you. You could be mad at yourself that you got into a mess to begin with.

If you don’t work with emotions, you most likely will quit as soon as it seems hard.  There is a reason change hasn’t happened yet. And it’s rarely the reason you think it is.

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