I’ve been hearing a lot lately how someone can’t be happy because of their crummy husband, or a bad job, or bratty kids… But who is in charge of making you happy? No one but you.
And often the people around us would love to make us happy, if we actually gave them clear directions. Tell your boss what kind of assignments make you more fulfilled, or what you need to do a better job or negotiate deadlines. Or find a new job.
Tell your husband or wife that it would really make you feel great if they did… Not yell and be harsh when things don’t go how you want, even if you never said anything. Or worse, say things but in a degrading way, where they don’t even want to make you happy. Finding someone right and thinking they might want to help you, instead of assuming they want to make you miserable.
Make expectations clear with the kids. And don’t let how they act be the main thing that affects your self-esteem. Because kids are kids and certainly not perfect. We are molding them for the future – not trying to put them on display now.
Of course it helps if you know what you want and you know what makes you happy. Figuring that out usually takes a little bit of quiet time. Also keep a look out for your reactions – that will help clue you in to how certain things make you feel. Take notes, like you do when you are trying to find the perfect gift for someone.
Take the time to do what you think is fun. Even if your husband won’t watch the kids. Find a friend to swap babysitting with. Or find a place that has on site babysitting. Negotiate a longer lunch hour once a week for staying a little later one day.
Even if you don’t have the money. Look for a scholarship. Find free demonstrations. Barter. Volunteer to usher in exchange for seeing the show. Sell something.
Even if you don’t have the time. Turn off the TV. Say no to working late. Combine it with something else. Let go of an obligation. Visualize the energy you will have after you’ve had fun.
There are usually obstacles to doing what makes you happy, yet there are usually solutions if you are determined to find them.
And when the people around you see how fun you are to be around and how vibrant you have become, they might even help you make it easier.