Balboa_Park_Pics_10_30_09_088

I sit under the evergreen tree that falls like a willow. I am tired. Tired of trying to keep it all together, do everything right, not let anyone down. Doing but it not being enough. Of living to other people’s expectations. I have forgotten what I know.

I look up at the small pinecone clusters at the ends of drooping branches. A few branches are empty of needles. Rocks near the base of the trunk make the tree look even stronger. The ground is bumpy far from the tree as the roots go long and deep.

No striving.

The tree gives what it was meant to give.

It stands in its own beauty and strength.

 

 

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3 comments

  • Kathleen

    Beautifully said. I have felt the same way at times, especially when my kids were young .Moments of reflections can nourish a soul and mind. And give us that boost that we need at times.

  • Julie Roddy

    Very nicely said. Stopping and reflecting on nature and God’s beautiful creation can help us breathe again. Slow down and appreciate. Just breathe in and out deeply.

  • Marty Watson

    Hi Beth. You were a wonderful help getting my home organized, sold (in 1 week!) and then we moved 2 hours away into a perfectly lovely dollhouse of a home 1/3 that size in my hometown. We sold our (failing) business and decided to move to Jacksonville to help my parents, who are elderly and have a variety of medical problems. My mother is a heart patient and going to the hospital is a regular event. My parents are 84 and 85 and, although old and recovering from 3 back surgeries, my father still owns a car lot, which my husband and I have run (very successfully) for the past year until his return a month ago. We are now his employees, taking one small paycheck, $500 a week total for the two of us. That was fine when dad wasn’t there, but he comes to work daily now, berating my 58 year husband – I suppose to make himself feel better, bigger, stronger, whatever. Mark’s been a trouper about it, but it’s stressful to both of us. We don’t feel that my father could run the business without our help, but I am exhausted. I haven’t worked full time since our 31 year old son was born and I have rheumatoid arthritis, so my health varies day by day. I have two sisters (we all get along great), but only I know how to run the business, where everything is (cars all over town getting repairs, etc), I sign on all the accounts, and when my father dies, I can continue to run the business or close it down. I know it’s supposed to be a privilege to be able to help my aging parents, but this is miserable. Do you have any classes on this situation? We planned on dividing our time between NC and FL in our retirement, not stuck in a job with a sucky boss. It’s hard to step down after managing it all and taking the verbal abuse. I’m out of excuses for my father, who is just an old bully. My mother is adorable, sweet, loving, and appreciative. Dang. We are stuck. Thanks for listening. Marty (who used to live in Apopka, FL)

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