I really didn’t want to go to the improv yesterday. We had gotten tickets before Jon’s death because we knew he would love it and might even do some audience participation. I had cried all through church and after church and the last thing I wanted to do was go someplace where everyone was laughing. But, my daughter had been anticipating fun at the improv.
So I went with my daughter and mother-in-law and 2 of her friends. And I laughed. A lot.
I am finding you can feel two things at once. I have a layer of sadness over everything right now, but I can still feel joy. The two are not mutually exclusive.
I first noticed this as I saw a vibrant purple sunset on my way to the funeral home.
I have felt healing and joy in my nature walks with my daughter. And when Jeff, Brea and I hiked up to an observation deck to see the Perigree Moon rise in the east, bright orange and huge.
I feel joy in memories and pictures. And in the care of others.
It’s the times of joy that get you through the times of darkness. And I don’t intend to hide from either.