In Chapter 31 of Comfort Secrets for Busy Women, Jennifer Louden gives stories of people asking questions and living their answers. In Chapter 32 she writes about faith. Unsure of her beliefs she didn’t want to write about this. But, she discovers that surrendering to a higher power can bring her closer to what she has been “listening, waiting, seeing, believing, accepting and unfolding.” Even if she is doesn’t know what she believes about God.

She asks what are the 2 or 3 greatest stress points in my life right now and, “How could faith help me with these stresses and discomforts? What would it look like if i clearly saw myself trusting in the power of my intention and my connection to the Divine intelligence?

Rainbow outside my son’s room this week

In Chapter 30 of Comfort Secrets for Busy Women , Jennifer Louden talks about our tendency, even after we make changes to continue talking about the same old story.

You may have simplified your life quite a bit already. But, if someone asks how you are, you may habitually say, “I am so busy. I have all this going on and I’m feeling overwhelmed.” Once you say the words you start to feel your energy and strength leave.

Jennifer says we need to stay aware so we can keep on track with the changes we want to make. Also to appreciate how far we have come and where we are now. We need to watch the stories we are saying.
“Following your unfolding path, even getting your heart’s desire, always involves wading through a whole lot of cow pies.” she writes. But to protect your strength, we need to stop telling the same, old stories.

One of her questions in Living the Questions:

How do I feel about the choices I’ve been making lately? For me, I’ve been excited about some changes I made in regards to exercise and eating. I have been connecting with the kids and my husband. Now that the kids are in school, I want to connect back with my friends. I am still having trouble sleeping on time. I do not like my choice to sleep in. I want to act like a healthy, energetic woman.

In Chapter 29 of Comfort Secrets for Busy Women , Jennifer Louden defines the 3rd of the Crooked Path Finders. Intention is “an aim that guides action.” So from Insights you discover your Yearnings, then you get into action through intentions.

One of the ways intention works is by bringing hope to the present. Intention works by showing the feelings behind your dreams. Instead of just visualizing what you want, you focus on how you want to feel.

Jennifer has an exercise for us – look through your insight and yearnings lists. Now ask, “How will I feel living this dream?” Intention helps keep you centered and less controlling. You don’t need to picture every detail of how you want your life to look. Instead keep how you want to feel as the focus of your intention.

In Chapter 28 of Comfort Secrets for Busy Women , Jennifer Louden talks more about desire. When you ask questions like, “What do I want?” or “What do I yearn for?” Jennifer says the answers that go in the direction giving you the feeling of genuine freedom are often the answers to follow.

The opposite is true. If a direction feels stifling, it’s probably someone else’s expectation, not yours. And where you feel a lack of freedom in your life, you are probably feeling dissatisfied.

I am re-reading the book, What Happy People Know by Dan Baker and one of the 12 qualities of happiness is the feeling of freedom. Happy people know they have choices. Unhappy people think life happens to them and they have very little choice.

Most of us have many more choices than we think. I read about people choosing lives of meaning instead of money. Or going skydiving at age 70. Or giving hugs at a mall. You just need to make sure you can live with the consequences.

You can make the choice to work less, change jobs, spend your evenings painting instead of watching TV, run less errands,or buy less.
Where in your life do you feel stifled?

What do you desire? What gives you the feeling of freedom?

In Chapter 27 of Comfort Secrets for Busy Women , Jennifer Louden helps us decide how to narrow down our yearnings list. Most of us can’t do all our yearnings at once, due to time and energy constraints.
We can test our yearnings by asking some questions of each of our yearnings.

1. Will it make you feel alive and engaged?

2. Are you hoping your life will be changed or fixed by this yearning?

3. What are you willing to give up to make the time and energy for it?

4. Think of how this yearning will effect your relationships.

5. Decide which 3 yearnings you don’t want to live without.

Now Jennifer suggests putting your top 3 yearnings as how can I questions.

Like for my yearnings I would put, “How can I give others hope?” “How can I feel healthy and energetic?” and “How can I teach my kids life skills?”

Then play around with answering the question. See what comes up. Or don’t. Write it on an index card and post it. Let it seep into your mind. See what happens.

In Chapter 26 of Comfort Secrets for Busy Women , Jennifer Louden discusses the role of the Crooked Path Finder, Yearnings, “Her role is to help us find what we desire but may be afraid or unaware of wanting, or unable to want.”

Some of my yearnings right now:

• Teaching life skills to my kids
• Taking a vacation in Montana with the family
• Making connections with new people, and deepening current connections
• Enrolling in a drawing class
• Giving people hope
• Doing more fun things during the evenings
• Feeling heathier and more energetic
• Committing to early rising and creating that as a habit
• Feeling lighter in spirit

To discover your own yearnings, Jennifer says to ask your body what it’s saying. Write down what you like and dislike about your days. In what ways can you share pleasure with others. What do you want to be in the coming days? Where are you unhappy or stuck? What kind of information are you clipping or saving? What do you never seem to have time for? What types of things did you used to enjoy doing? Ask yourself what you want. Do you see any patterns emerging?

What can you give up for at least a week to make more time to discover your yearnings or to do something about your yearnings?

In Chapter 25 of Comfort Secrets for Busy Women , Jennifer Louden asks us to observe what we like and don’t like. We often choose by other’s preferences or say, “It doesn’t matter.” Soon, we don’t even know what we like and don’t like. This week ask yourself while you are doing various things if it is something you like or not. It doesn’t mean you have to make any changes. We are just observing and gathering information.

In Chapter 24 of Comfort Secrets for Busy Women , Jennifer Louden tells us to give ourselves a break from relentless self-examination. All this questioning ourselves and working through things is hard work.

She asks us to ask, “How can I provide for my beloved self.”

I am feeling a little under the weather, so I am providing myself with good sleep, vitamins and lots of water.

Last time we learned about inisghts. Well insights are not all fun and games. In Chapter 23 of Comfort Secrets for Busy Women , Jennifer Louden says that attempting to live one of your insights is certain to stir your personal demon swamp. When you choose awareness you find the parts of you that are “damp, dark and dubious.”

Time monsters and shadow comforts come out to visit. We turn to the familiar instead of working through what might be more satisfying, but harder. Try resisting the shadow comfort – mindless TV, junk food, etc. and remain conscious to your uneasiness.

What are your favorite shadow comforts and time monsters?

I admit here that my shadow comforts are chocolate, watching too many DVD’s and zoning out with a novel. As for time monsters there is that surfing the web that I do claiming research. running errands more than once or twice a week, and holding on to too much stuff that I need to maintain.

Last time we learned about the Crooked Path finder. In Chapter 22 of Comfort Secrets for Busy Women , Jennifer Louden writes about the first one. “Insight functions like a flashing neon beacon beeping, ‘Here is your unfolding path. Pay Attention.'”

What are three to five insights you have had in your life recently? You can find them by scanning in your journal, listening to your body, noting what you answered with certain questions, talking with friends, go into retreat with the intention of finding insights, write down dreams, recall parts of books that have roused you recently.

Avoid dutiful insights. Record the insights that feel “juicy, clear and yours.” Put them on 3 x 5 cards. Ask questions about them to see if you want to integrate the insight into your life. Values, beliefs, passion, reactions, stress, spiritual. She has some great questions in her book.

Now the ones you want to integrate into your life, change the insight to a “How can I” question. How can I slow down? How can a laugh more? How can I create meaningful connections? How can I experience more play in my life?

Bring your cards with you or post them so you become more aware of your insights.

Ask yourself, “What would it look like if I saw myself clearly integrating this insight?”